Plot and Character Feedback

First time posting in this forum,

Hello "All"  :)   I'am still a newbie because "2 posts restriction" apply but i read about 10%-20% of the forum before posting anything.

Get Started friends for my story  :D

Title: Not thought quite good but i like "Conscience Bleed" a lot for this story.

Genre: RPG,  Blood , Fantasy , Violence , Romance ,Revenge

Setting: The Legends of Vampires , Werewolves, Witches and Magicians(good) are true. Most of the Human's Don't know about them (or i say these creatures hide themselves so cleverly.) Only King and his Knights know about them but for safety of citizens (so that they might not get panicked) they never told others.

History: I'll be making cut scenes or them..... (only dialogues and images in them)

-------------------------------------------------------------Cut Scene1  "Grandpa and Mother" "How his mother became a werewolf"---------



It was the year 1851, the story begins with a girl named Denisa; who was a daughter of a mage named Marek. They live in a place located in south-east Europe named Uzania. They lived there life in peace with other villagers until one night (a full moon night) a werewolf attacked Denisa and bitten her. She was covered with blood when her father saw her lying on the ground. He took her and healed her by casting a strong healing magic. But when her father knew about werewolf bite, it was too late. Her body transformed into a wolf. She became strong but uncontrollable. To control her,her father casted a spell named “Bound” which specializes in creating magical boundaries which was not easy to pass (unless by casting magic “Unbound”). On every full moon’s night her father have to cast that magic so that she may not be able to see full moon to prevent her from being converting into the  werewolf form. This continues till 17 years.


-------------------------------------------------------------Cut Scene2 "birth of a Hero (Werewolf By Birth)---------------------------------------------



When she was 21 and her beauty was at supreme, an offical King’s Knight named Adrian greatly affected by her power (due to werewolf traits) and beauty ,fallen in love with her and asked her hand from her father Marek. Marek agreed to their marriage. After 2 years of their marriage, a son named Damian was born. Both Marek and Denisa were afraid that Damian might be having werewolf properties.



-------------------------------------------------------------Cut Scene3 "Proof of werewolf"----------------------------------------------------



On his first Full Moon’s night , he got transformed into a young wolf and became reckless and attacked everything on it’s way. This worried his mother and grandfather both, so Marek told Denisa to use “Bound” on Damian as well. Years passed and his father never knew about his mother and him being werewolf or the fact that Marek was a mage.

Game Start:

--------------------------------Game Start with Damian as main character  (First Fight) + (Becoming Hybrid)----------------------------------

 One evening, Damian’s friend LENA was attacked by a vampire named Stelios, Damian picked up his a sword and tried to fight to save her. Overpowered by his enemy, Damian lost the fight and got bitten by Stelios. Being a werewolf and got bitten by a vampire , he fell unconscious after having too much pain to bear. His father found him lying on the ground bleeding. He put Damian and then went away to call the healers. Seeing Adrian was not there, Marek casted a healing spell with no success, and then analysed his body for finding the reason for the failure of his spell. When he came across the bite mark, he was in a shock and thinking how could he revive his grandson. Soon the healers came and said he was bitten by a wild animal and given medicines with no hope of getting him better. His mother was crying bitterly over the situation. Four days passed, every healer gave no hope of getting him better. He was in a condition of severe pain and becomes unconscious when his body was unable to bear the pain.

Browsing through his library, Marek found a spell known as “Bisector” and used it on Damian to bisect the werewolf self with the vampire one. Soon Damian got better, and could talk too. For calming his curiosity, Lena said that he was bitten by STELIOS (a vampire). But this truth was hidden from the others, only his mother, grandfather and Lena knew about that.

About Damian



Usually He lives in his vampiric form( which was known to him), hiding his fangs.Being both a vampire and a werewolf he gained enormous strength and can even walk through sunlight (due to his werewolf properties), his body temperature was normal too. But he can’t convert into werewolf until he would see the full moon. His blood sucking habits were suppressed (due werewolf properties) and fulfill only from his carnivorus diet. Garlic doesn’t effect him too much (due to werewolf properties).Crucifixes and holy water are nothing (because of his kind heart). But he was vulnerable to silver upto (60%) .
Continuing with the Story:

One (full moon’s) night Denisa forgot about using “Bound” for some reason. Damian got away and saw full moon. His body  transformed into a deadly wolf with sharp claws and large teeth. Damian got no sense what he was and was doing, uncontrollable from his senses, Damian ran through the village he met his father Adrian. Adrian didn’t recognize him and he was not on his senses to do so. Damian attacked his father, Adrian fought bravely but was killed by his own son.

When Damian’s senses returned, he was naked and his father was dead covered with blood and was bitten and scars was all over his body. (He didn’t know that he killed his own father) He took his father inside his home for a proper burial.

After his father’s burial he begins his quest to find the man who killed his father and to take revenge. As Damian was emotional and sensitive so telling him , he himself killed his father was not the option for his mother. So Denisa told that Stelios was the Killer of his father. This would have killed 2 birds with 1 stone;  she thought.



The brief of story is :v  Marek (Damian’s Maternal Grandpa) is a Mage (Magician).

v  Denisa (Damian’s Mom) became werewolf .

v  Adrian (Damian’s Father) was a knight who was killed by Damian.

v  Damian was werewolf by birth then bitten by a vampire named Stelios and also casted “Bisector” magic to became a Hybrid (combination of werewolf and vampire).

v  Damian’s Friend Lena was human and knows that Damian’s is a vampire (with Denisa and Marek ,Stelios and Damian Himself)



Now the quest begins for Damian is to find Stelios and taking revenge of his father’s murder. Lena accompanied him with his  quest. There is romance in the air for them.

Big Spoiler:



After somedays, Stelios sighted, Damian attacked him without knowing his true power. Stelios casted a deadly magic, in order to save Damian,Suddenly Marek appear , who was constantly watching Damian's Movement Marek died from the Magic Blow. 

The Next Section:

The adventure forward is a secret .. i don't know yet too. (haven't thought yet)

Troubles i'm having:

1. Everyone loves an underdog hero. Though here the hero is hybrid (vampire+werewolf) that means stronger than both

    he will definately be able to defeat villan Stelios (a Vampire) by concept.

2. What will be the qualities and skills of Hybrid what will be his vulnerabilities?

3. I need a romantic catalyst in the story that provokes Lena and Damian towards each other.

4. Story is not believable .

5. It is full of cliche.

Feedback also welcome for:

1. Title 

2. Story 

3. Character Names

Need: 

1. Members helping in the project.

2. Resources specific to story like European houses tiles , hybrid sprites and character face , horror , dark , bloody music.

Inspired From : ( My signature doesn't apply on me  :p  )

1. Underworld Films (Hybrid Idea).

2. Vampires Dawn RPG Games (Reign of Blood and Deceit Of Heretics).

3. Indian TV Show "Chandrakanta". (killing someone close to you without knowing it idea)

4. Film "Werewolf the beast among us" (Werewolf gene idea)

5. Twilight 

6. Vampire diaries

etc....

P.S Sorry For My Bad English.

Game: Dreams of Death, Illusions of Sleep
 

Backstory: This game is based on the concept of a screenplay I had in mind.
 

About: James is a recovering amnesiac who goes on an adventure with his closest friends to learn the secrets of the human psyche.

Genre: JRPG, Sci-Fi, psyche, identity, existentialism

Setting: Modern times

Main Character: James Castle- A recovering amnesiac. As he begins to learn more about who he is, he develops an existential crisis, worsening the identity and moral crisis he is already afflicted with. As such, he gathers his closest friends to go on an adventure with him, to find himself and learn the secrets of the human mind.

That's all for now. I'll update when all the supporting characters are developed. Feedback would be very much appreciated. Thank you.

Hello! This is actually the first post I've made on this site. I'm not sure what's wrong and what's not in the sense of where to put things. I'm not ever sure if I've added my post to this forum correctly  :)

I haven't actually bought RPG Maker VX Ace yet. I'm working through the trial to see if I'm still interested in it at the end. My main focus will be horror games. I dunno how everyone feels about those.

I suppose I'll dive right into it, then.

My two main characters are actually created characters for something totally not related to this. hehe.

The protagonist (Who you will be playing as most of the time):

Dean Smith, age twenty-five. He works at a restaurant in a little town called Levenson. He goes to college and lives by himself in an apartment. He's very calm and good-natured. His decisions are usually based on his moral compass. So, because he's loyal, he will often choose to stay by his friend's side- despite what has happened between them. (This game isn't decision based.) Dean's pretty much a normal guy.

The best friend o' the protagonist (Basically your follower):

Jinx Arestelle, age twenty-five. He's a very accepting guy. Seriously, he'll be friends with anybody and that sometimes gets him into trouble. He's very free-spirited, and kind of a coward. In the beginning of the game he's been gone for three years after a severe falling out with everyone he's ever known. (More on this in the plot overview.)

Atmosphere

This is a ghost story. So, I'm going for that classic feel. Muted color schemes, cold weather, the whole nine-yards. I want to provide an underlying plot that can be overlooked to people not immersing themselves into the game. This plot will most likely be what happened to the ghost while they were alive, and how they became what they are today. I plan on making at least one more game to pair with this as a prequel. If you're interested you can ask me. But, nothing is set in stone as of yet.

Plot Overview (what I have completed- still playing around with things and wanting feedback.):

Okay, I work best with magic bullet points. So, here we go.

• Dean is working at the restaurant one late night. He says goodbye to the last customers then has a small conversation with his coworker, Juan. This is to allow the player to get to know Dean more. Dean turns down going out to drink with Juan and some girls.
• So, Dean goes off to his apartment. He gets up to his floor and he sees Jinx sitting there in the hallway.
• Jinx is kinda sick looking, and dirty. 
• Dean's like "Wtf you doing here?" (not actually, Dean doesn't curse much)
• Jinx doesn't really give a good response.
• Now, the reason Dean's all sassy n stuff is because of what Jinx did three years ago.

What happened three years ago (What Dean knows about what happened anyways. I don't really use situational irony):

• Jinx disappeared for three weeks with no warning.
• Dean called the cops.
• Cops were like "IDK"
• Dean freaks out.
• Jinx shows up finally, but he's totally different. Usually Jinx is happy and smiley and all that jazz. But, this Jinx is a total jerk. He's acting all paranoid, like everyone conspiring against him, and even goes so far as to call Dean out, telling him he's a traitor and a horrible friend, wishing they had never met.
• Dean can't take it anymore and he tells Jinx to leave and never come back.
• Jinx does so.
• except now.

Back to Mr. Plot

• Jinx says something about needing a place to stay. Just for the night. He isn't acting like a jerk now, kinda like a lost and sick puppy.
• Dean has a small argument with the classic "Why should?" but, eventually gives in when he sees Jinx is hurting about something.
• There's some small talk.
• Jinx is rather shut-in, reluctant to talk. 
• Dean ain't having any of that. Jinx really hurt him. So, he presses forward in the questioning.
• Jinx suddenly explains that he doesn't remember anything from the past year. Well, he remembers feeling betrayed, hopeless, and furious. He can see little snippets of memory like a hazy dream.
• Dean's like "......u funny......."
• And Jinx says that it doesn't matter anyways, because no body else believes him despite how sincere he is.
• Dean sighs and is like "fine. If that's true, then you gotta see a doctor"
• Jinx is like "I don't wanna >:C" and they eventually decide to argue later and sleep now.
• Dean sets Jinx up in the guest room, then goes to his room and they sleep.
• Dean wakes up after about half an hour of rest. He's super, super thirsty. He gets up and, when he steps into the hallway, he notices how cold it is. It feels like 45, but the thermostat says 78. He's in the middle of contemplating that when he hears scratching. From Jinx's room.
• He walks over and knocks on the door and is like "Jinx...?"
• Jinx doesn't answer.
• Dean starts getting louder, then eventually just bursts into the room.
• Jinx is standing in the corner, digging his nails into the walls, scratching at them. His fingertips are a little torn up.
• At this point Dean can hear whispering coming from his friend.
• He approaches Jinx, trying to talk to him, but eventually just has to pull him away from the wall.
• They both fall over and Jinx is like "Wut?"
• Then he notices his bleeding fingers, looks up to the wall, and starts freaking out.
• Here's a narrative of the scene:Dean turned a wide-eyed expression to Jinx, sitting back on his hands, his feet in front of him. "J-Jinx... You... You were scratching... at the walls... and whispering..." 
  
              Jinx looked back to Dean, holding his own hands, trembling a bit, “I-I did that…? I…. Oh my god… Oh my god…” He started to shake his head, his eyes shut tight.
  
              Dean took a few calming breaths, turning himself over and sitting on his knees, scooting closer to his friend, “Okay… Don’t freak out…”
  
              “Don’t freak out!? Don’t freak out!? I’m clawing at the walls and whispering in my sleep like a crazy person from some horror flick! This is a great time to freak out!” Jinx cried hysterically, staring forward, almost rocking himself.
  
              “Yelling isn’t going to fix anything!” Dean cried over Jinx’s anxious, horrified whimpers and whines.
  
              Jinx fell silent, still rocking slowly.
  
              “Okay… You’re fine now… It isn’t happening anymore…” Dean said coolly, nodding slowly. “Were… you dreaming…?”
  
              “I don’t know! I don-“ Jinx took a calming breath, “I don’t know… Dean… I… I remember feeling scared… and anxious… But, I don’t remember anything else… I think I should see that doctor you were talking about… earlier…”
  
              Dean nodded, putting a hand to Jinx’s shoulder, “I’ll head into his office in the morning… See if I can get you in…”
  
              Jinx didn’t respond, just holding his own hands, trembling.
  
              “We… We should get back to bed…”
  
              “That’s a really funny joke, Dean.” Jinx sputtered weakly.
  
              Dean sighed, “Do you at least want anything to eat?”
  
              “I’ll take some Holy Water, if you have it.”
  

[*]​I just felt it would be better to show you that. I think I'm funny.

[*]So, they go to bed and the next thing you see is Dean back at the restaurant, doing his shift.

[*]Juan's like "So, what happened?"

[*]Dean tells Juan what's going on with Jinx.

[*]Juan didn't know Jinx until today, so his opinion isn't as cruel as some of the other opinions about the Arestelle.

[*]The other people that got hurt by Jinx are like "Dean, you should just kick him out." 

[*]But Dean's good guy, poor boy.

[*]On his lunch break Dean goes to the doctor's office. This'll allow the player to explore a part of Levenson, talk to some people and get their different opinions on characters and everything.

[*]When Dean finally makes it to the office, Dr. Locke is no where to be seen (possible foreshadowing to another game)

[*]He's like "awwww maaaaaaaan, that sucks."

[*]So, the day goes by and Dean comes home and Jinx's cleaned the house and all that (lol, mife)

[*]It finally comes time to sleep and Dean's like "I'll sleep on the floor in your room, k?"

[*]Jinx is like "k"

[*]Dean can't fall asleep, but Jinx is out like a light.

[*]At some point Jinx starts to move and whisper.

[*]Dean stands and wakes him, asking him a few questions.

[*]Jinx can't answer, he doesn't know what's happening.

[*]They take a little breather and try to sleep again.

[*]But, Jinx is like "Deaaaaaan hold my haaaaaand ;-;"

[*]So, they end up holding hands.

[*]Dean finally falls asleep.

[*]He ends up in some twisted, mirror image world. There are people he knows, but they're acting... shifty... He looks to his right and sees Jinx. They're holding hands and, apparently, having the same dream.

[*]At some point they come to this room and a monstrous thing scares them or whatever. Both of them jump back, their hands separating.

[*]Dean wakes up.

[*]He's standing against the wall, facing it, his fingernails digging into the paint.

[*]So, naturally, he gets a little scared and steps back, trembling.

[*]He looks to his right.

[*]Jinx is there, scratching at the walls and whispering.

[*]Dean touches his shoulder and he wakes up.

[*]They both can't remember what's happened. All they know is that they were holding hands, then woke up like this.

[*]They go about their day

[*]Dean got Jinx a job at the restaurant

[*]They're both like "Wunder wuts goin' on?"

[*]Finally, they get back home

[*]They delay going to bed again, but eventually decide to go for it.

[*]They hold hands again and fall into Bad-Mirror-Image-Dream-World-of-BLEH

[*]It is then that they remember the previous night's dream

[*]They also notice another thing

[*]All of the monsters and people don't take any notice to Dean, they're all being mean and chasing after Jinx.

[*]Dean is like "Come on, let's find what's going on."

[*]And Jinx shakes his head and refuses to go any further.

[*]Dean lets go of Jinx's hand to move on and explore, but wakes up in the real world, scratching the walls.

[*]He looks to Jinx, who's doing his thing in his sleep.

[*]Dean tries to wake Jinx, but his friend won't budge.

[*]Dean settles down next to Jinx, staying near him while he scratches up the walls.

[*]Dean starts to think on the whole dream-world, remembering more and more

[*]He concludes that, to stay in Jinx's dream, he's always gotta be holding his hand.

[*]Jinx finally wakes up on his own, his hands all messed up.

[*]He asks what's happened and Dean explains a thing.

[*]blah blah blah stuff happens n things

[*]Next night Dean's like "I got this rope, we're gonna tie our hands together so we can't be separated"

[*]*insert Jinx's dirty joke

[*]So they tie themselves together and go into the dream world.

[*]Everything is super vivid for Dean (And for the player) now that they can't be separated from Jinx.

[*]Dean starts to notice this shadowed figure that seems to always be following them and ordering monsters to chase (you can't fight anything in this game, just run)

[*]At some point a massive amount of monsters show up and you have to die. This causes Dean to wake up.

[*]Dean's like "I think we need to find out where you disappeared to when you were gone, Jinx."

[*]Jinx is like "I don't rememberrrr"

[*]And Dean's like "I know. That's why we gotta find it out!"


At this point I haven't made a clear decision. But, I know Jinx ended up in some old, run down house. At this house is where he and the Ghost met, and the Ghost 'possessed' him and turned him into a jerk.

Pretty sure I'm going to make the ghost a girl named Ruby, who is betrayed by everyone and then get poisoned by her mother. The prequel would be about Ruby (and her BFF Ellie, who didn't actually betray her.)

Ellie would also make a cameo in Dean and Jinx's game (which I'm pretty sure I'll call Privo) 

Tell me what you think! I'm excited! And hopefully I did this right and it all makes sense!!  :D

EDIT (3-27-2015): I am considering making the real-world and dream-world two different styles. Like, purely as an example, real-world would be anime styled and then dream-world would be realistic styled.

I've decided to perhaps develop a few of the more inchoate points in my previous post, as that wasn't much of a plot. I'll reiterate some information while condensing the themes.

Basic

 

The title of the project is Ignis. This refers to one of the core elements of the game, a force that can best be described as a physical manifestation of pure consciousness- metaconsciousness if you will. This item will constitute part of the core design of the game, which otherwise features elements of governmental conspiracy, antediluvian civilizations (ie, before the flood), and the impact of history on today's worlds.

 

Inspirations 

 

My plot is inspired by both video game and non-video game media. 

 

Video Game Media: MGS 1/2, Final Fantasy 4/6/7, Chrono Cross, somewhat (but not entirely) Xenogears. 

 

Non Video Game Media: The philosophies of Schopenhauer, Heraclitus, Hegel, Plato, Aristotle, Aquinas. 

 

Themes

 

In this game there are several themes and ideas.

 

Antediluvian Civilizations: Or those civilizations that happened before a theoretical natural disaster. What were they like? Are we 'fallen from grace' as compared with these?

 

Meta-Gaming: Or, what it means to play one. Theme basically sourced from MGS 2. The statement NON SERVIAM, or I will not serve. But when playing a game, you kind of have no choice but to do so.

 

Freedom: A corresponding theme to the previous one. If you have no choice but to follow a trajectory towards the game's satisfaction, then what kind of freedom do you really have?

 

The Idealist: Is he a disease, somebody with a defective mind? Or is he necessary, the quintessence of the species in his own way? Pitting Schopenhauer's conception of the man 'with a brain too large' with Kant's 'he is a perfected product of nature'. 

 

History: to what extent are we determined by our predecessors doings? We have no choice but to come 'from them' in a sense- but to what extent does this commandeer who we are? Hegel's theory on this topic is relevant.

 

War: to what extent is it unavoidable, and to what extent does 'peace' entail 'war' in another fashion? 

 

Suffering: The nature of suffering: do we see the apex of the human species in 'suffering well', or is it just something we must avoid to retain our humanity? Does the adage "What doesn't kill me make me stronger" work to the nth degree?

Characters:(I will be adding more) For each of these, a corresponding Socionics depiction should suffice. I use a link therefore to demonstrate the personality of said character.

The Main Protagonist: A younger mercenary enlisted by the government's regional military in order to supplement the straggling numbers on what's known as the Western Front. Dropped out of university so that he could fight, precisely because he felt that most of those in his position had not lived enough life to talk about it. He is rather reticent in giving others any information about his life prior to his work as a mercenary. Has a drive for self-mastery, and by extension in his book, mastery everywhere. The kind of person who could both become a champion for humanity, or a brutal dictator dedicated to an ideal. His heritage and life story are elucidated within the game, and play an important part in his shaping of the world.

His journey ends up being just the sort of post-university dissertation he needs. During his journey he finds out what it really means to be alive- and of the dark past of civilization and our conflicting impulses. Here's a document that might help ya: 

 http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/31-INFp-description-Filatova

@Rampart Cratylus:

After filtering my way through all the :unsure:  philosobabble :headshake: it sounds like you've got an almost cliché background for the protagonist :| . However, I like the idea of governmental conspiracy ;) . You should throw some political espionage in there as well. I'm looking forward to reading some more of your information. :D

Thanks for the interest HNT :p . 

Yeah, I figured the protagonist might sound rather out of it right now- but I've been busy trying to concoct a plot that can reconcile the many subthreads that weave through it. 

Basically- there is a three way deadlock between the three main powers of the game.

Arzine --- The Republic of. The most powerful in terms of potential manpower and technology, having industrialized to a rather advanced point (World War II tech). 

PHOL --- A Multiracial union that formed in response to a war they waged against Arzine 50 years ago. Has many troops and advantageous abilities as a result, but also suffers from internal disunity.

Veljok the Stable --- A Country that while small, prides itself on an overall high standard of living and stable arrangement. Has managed to retain a policy of non-interventionism- but the lack of knowledge surrounding their capacity to wage war makes them a scary piece of the world order.

Arzine and PHOL waged war 50 years ago- with PHOL losing to Arzine. Yet, thanks to the well-intentioned Commander of the Arzinian forces, PHOL was treated kindly and largely retained autonomy- at the cost of quite a few economic boons. The current political scenario is ostensibly:

Arzine is looking to once again entertain ideas of conquest. But an internal conflict involving a religious extremist group is wounding their reputation.

PHOL seems to want to keep developing, fostering its rich brew of cultures and races. Is wary of Arzine.

Veljok wants to preserve security, and is also aware of Arzine's bigger ambition. 

This political strife however masks a deeper split between two illuminati organizations dedicated to two different goals. One wants 'war' the other seeks to 'stymie' it. There is much more to this dispute than meets the eye however. 

The protagonist needs some more clarification, but I won't dump on you all here. There are quite a few twists to him... But in all honesty, I'll probably end up recruiting a co-writer to help work out the funk of protagonizing characters. 

Unfortunately, the philosophobabble will largely remain intact- though I'll try to execute it in a natural way. After all, the title of the project is IGNIS- or the central philosophical theme of the game's universe. 

___

I plan on having funny things too. Like taking photos of birds as a sidequest, and submitting them to the WOW- or the World of Watching. 

It sounds like you've put a lot of thought into the three nations. They sound interesting and believable. I really have an interest in stories that involve international conflict and the authority figures who are in control.  

It's really cool to get positive feedback! Really! It means a lot to me, because I've been rather underconfident in my premise. What I've shown you is ultimately very little of the finished product... But think of it this way.

In Hegel, there is the concept of the Zeitgeist- the spirit of an age. In reference to this, he names Napoleon "The World Spirit". My game revolves around this notion- who/what/how is a human being deserving of this epithet? It also, a la MGS2, pokes fun at the whole concept of playing a game, and the very format of the JRPG in terms of cutscene presentation and 'who the protagonist ultimately is'. I hope to one day get farther along with it so I can show off more concretes. 

Again, thanks for the encouragement!

I'm looking to create a survival horror RPG set in a spaceship. Right now, I'm mostly trying to think how the layout of a ship like this would look like, as well as what kind of things and places would be needed to run it (e.g., hydroponics, recreation, medical, etc.). Any feedback is welcome.


Devil's Gate


LORE


The SBS Endeavor is spacefaring research platform owned by Epsilon Technology Corporation (ETC). ETC conducts research into a wide variety of scientific disciplines, including but not limited to robotics, genetics, weaponry, engineering and chemistry. The Endeavor is fitted with a hyperdrive, a technology that allows the ship to travel great distances across space. The technology works by creating a jump gate which the ship enters, taking it into an adjacent dimension called hyperspace, then exiting back into normal space at a different location. The hyperdrive is a relatively recent invention and hyperspace is not fully understood.


While in hyperspace on a resupply trip to the colony planet Vaneria, the Endeavor gets peppered with numerous unknown objects, knocking the ship around and causing it to exit hyperspace. One of the objects penetrates into the escape pod bay and embeds itself into a wall. The crew rushes to check the damage. Fortunately, the ship's repair systems managed to seal the hull. The crew takes a closer look at the foreign piece of debris. It appears to be a spherical, large, fiery piece of rock measuring several metres across. Grabbing fire extinguishers, the crew attempts to put out the fire. As they walk closer towards the rock, its hard outer shell breaks off into pieces to reveal a pulsating, fleshy massinside. The mass expands and transforms, sprouting tentacles and appendages which then proceed to attack and kill everyone in its vicinity. The fleshy mass creates a burst of energy, causing a shockwave to ripple throughout the ship. Everyone within a certain radius of the energy burst are immediately killed, most of the people outside of it survive but some are not so lucky. Power goes out on multiple sections of the ship and much of the equipment are destroyed or malfunctioning. The navigation systems are offline. The ship is left hurtling towards Vaneria, which is not too far off at this point, without any way to stop it. Strangely, the ship itself has changed, its layout is different, with spaces and distances fluctuating, bending and stretching apparently by itself and for no discernable reason.


Not long after the shockwave hit, those who were killed by the energy burst begin to reanimate into grotesque creatures. These creatures retain the memories of their previous life. They are openly hostile, attacking any living person without mercy. They either lack the capacity to feel pain, or more likely even revel in it, being prone self-mutilation. In any case, they have no sense of self-preservation and are totally relentless in their attacks. These monsters have a twisted and irreverent sense of humour, mocking and toying with their victims before killing them. The survivors are currently stuck in the living quarters deck; the other decks are completely overrun with all manner of demonic creatures. The escape pod bay is blocked by a massive fleshy mass and is inaccessible. The survivors' mission: reclaim each section of the ship one by one, eliminate the demonic infestation, repair the ship's navigation systems and prevent crashing into Vaneria. Add to this the looming threat of dwindling supplies and power and things are not looking very good for the survivors.


FACTIONS


Security Ops (SecOps): In charge of policing the survivors and keeping the peace. They escorts scavengers into monster territory.


Ration Factory Coalition (RFC): A group of people that has set up a base of operations in the ration factory. They maintain and run the machines needed to keep the survivors fed. The machines are prone to malfunctioning, necessitating scavenging runs for food from time to time. Being set up just outside of the safe zone, the RFC doubles as guards against any monster who might attempt to get into the living quarters deck. Tension exists between RFC and SecOps, with some members of the RFC believing themselves to be the real heroes of the ship.


CHARACTERS


Vandal - Protagonist. Face will be hidden underneath a helmet throughout the entire game. Real name, ethnicity and gender will not be revealed. Vandal is a new transfer to HAZMAT Security. They are trained and equipped for dealing with combat situations in biohazardous environments. Vandal was to be stationed in areas that require a hazmat suit, with duties including guarding assigned areas, performing general maintenance, and assisting research teams.


Tristan O'Malley - In charge of keeping inventory. Takes care of handing out equipment to survivors.


Garth Eisner - Head of engineering team. Makes weapons, armour and other items out of salvaged equipment.


Dr. Justine Ivanova - Physician. Restores health and treats negative states. Can make restorative items from salvaged equipment.


Dr. Adrian Hogan - Head of the research team. The player can bring certain items to be studied by Dr. Hogan's team who then use them to figureout ways to better combat the demons.


Cassandra Richardson - With an endearing personality and soft-spoken voice, Cassandra's place is in the command centre. She is the soothing voice that directs scavengers, repair/maintenance and assault teams, watching over them through the security cameras.

I like the basic premise- strikes me as a story about depleting trust in extreme conditions. I'm wondering if you'll work to incorporate decision making that needs to get people to forget their own hides and work together to pull through. In fact, precisely because you're faceless, it would strike me as the ideal metaphor- by not having a distinct personality to target in that sense, you can best adjust yourself to this harsh environment. Knowing when to make sacrifices and when not to may become important. 

I would feature a Node system similar to MGS2, or a map system such as in Metroid. That way, as you explore, you can obtain pieces of the picture, maybe submit them to either the Sec Ops or Ration Factory and take sides- helping one to win out over the other or something. Since you're going out an fetching items, you'll be a valuable character to most factions- which also sets the game up for potential plot twists and backstabs. Not trusting anyone is tempting in this environment, but it's the best we've got all the same.

_____

Update to my project. 

Behind the entirety of my political subplot, you have two looming factions that too conspire to make your life plain difficult. I've mentioned them briefly- they are illuminati-like organizations that vie with each other for sway over global events. 

1.) The one that wishes to prevent war is Igniculis. A scientific organization that specializes research into teleology, a science of 'final causes' and various forms of determinism and chrysalis.

2.) Opposite to them is The Circuit who believe that humanity does not have much time before it commits an unforgivable sin once more. They sponsor increased tensions throughout the world- positioning everybody on the cusp of bloody all-out-war. They are an older group than Igniculis, and have a much more cryptic influence on it at large.  

Remember- the game is set in a historical era where electricity has become increasingly standardized, and life-styles are evolving to fit this new paradigm... The pros and cons are both discussed through characters and quests in the game.

Add to this the notion of antediluvian civilizations that permeates the world's consciousness, and you have a world that is marching confidently into the future with a blindfold on- with two men on either side of it jostling it from side to side. The protagonist is an individual who proves to be interesting to the powers that be- his development into a fuller human being intentionally reflecting the concept of 'teleology'. But in a world that is directed by other, flawed human beings, just what is a final cause? Where are we really going? Who is steering the wheel? Is our protagonist developing, or is he too on the brink of committing an 'unpardonable sin' through his adventure?

                                                                             WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SEE IN AN RPG?

Jasutin here, and I was wondering what you guys would like in an RPG. I've looked around and seen lots of opinions in what you guys like in an RPG. At the moment I'm working on a game called Tower of Uso 2. (The first one has been released on our website and will be posted later.) Right now the game can go a billion different ways, I'd like your ideas on everything you like about an RPG. We've gotten the Intro built and the first area (Which is huge btw) is still in production. 

So what do you want to see in an RPG. Anything goes.

After completion of Demon Hunter, which had a darker tone to it, I decided to make my next game a bit more lighthearted in essence. Here is what I was brainstorming, and was hoping I could see what others think:

Story Synopsis

The story revolves around four sisters (quadruplets) who are all witches. One of the sisters, Pyra (fire witch) was dating a warlock by the name of Damien, and they had been dating for a few months. Things weren't working out for Pyra and Damien so she ends up dumping him. In an act of rage and revenge, Damien steals Pyra's pendant, which was a heirloom from her mother and runs off with it. The four sisters then go on a mission to get her pendant back from Damien and kick his butt for being a jerk.

I was thinking of making the game set in a more modern time era (think the show Charmed), so I would be using the modern tile-sets and the game would take place in modern looking cities/towns/houses/etc. The world is aware of witches, and they are seen as "holy" beings that are respected, sorta like royalty. The game wouldn't be nearly as bit or long as Demon Hunter, and was thinking something more along the lines of 2-3 hours of gameplay. 

Is this something that would be interesting? 

One of the biggest challenges for me would be having four female main characters and giving them each their own personalities and making them unique to one another.

Characters (Graphics pending)

Each character will have a "normal" first name, but their middle name reflects their element. For example:

Julia-Pyra: The witch of Fire

Julia will have a hot temper, and is the more "sexy" outgoing sister, who is very extrovert and has no problem speaking her mind. She's the unofficial "leader" of the group. She likes to party, drink, dance, and be the life of the party, aka, she's an attention seeker. Julia would be the "dps" character, who will have more of the big bursty attacks.

Tina-Aqua: The witch of Water..

Tina is the more nerdy and introvert sister. She is rather shy and prefers arts/crafts and reading over partying. Tina is the sister who usually tries to lend her guidance to her sisters but is usually ignored since she's too introvert and not very aggressive. Tina would be the "healer" of the group. 

Monique-Aeria: The witch of Wind.

Monique is the ditsy sister who is a mini-Julia in terms of being a party person. She is extremely ditsy...like, trick over your own feet kind of ditsy. She is usually the target of the "dumb blonde" jokes in her group of sister. Monique is extremely extrovert and tries to be the center of attention, but is usually overshadowed by the popularity of her sister Julia. Monique excels in AOE damage and debuffs. She can reduce enemy stats, spread damage over time effects, and crowd control enemies. 

Jessica-Gaia: The witch of Earth.

Jessica is the stern and serious sister. She is the "voice of reason" and is always trying to steer her sisters (mostly Julia) from getting into trouble. Jessia is a firm follower of rules and regulations and hates challenging authority or doing anything that is seemed as "bad". Jessica would be the "tank" character who has beefier defenses and health. She excels at mitigating damage for her sisters by providing defensive buffs and shields. 

Magic/Combat

To spice up the combat I was going to go with traditional turn-based combat, still deciding on if I want side-view or just the front view battle systems quite yet. I've seen some pretty sweet looking front-view battle scripts that bring the "battle" to life.

I would make the battle interesting by adding secondary effects to most spells, such as combination and combo spells:

Combination Skills:

Fire Ball (Julia) + Rock shatter (Jessica) = Comet/Meteor AOE attack.

Tornado (Monique) + Fire Ball (Julia) = Blazing Storm: AOE attack that leaves a burn on all targets.

Secondary Effect Skills:

Ember: Dot spell (Julia) + Icy Touch (Tina) = Expunges the dot effect from Ember, but deals triple damage.

Those are just some minor examples of what I could implement. Most abilities would bolster the abilities of another party member, so that way the sisters work together to take down enemies. Because each sister has their own element, the enemies will also have elements to bring in a bit more strategy. The enemies and the sisters will take extra damage if they are hit with the element they are weak again for example. 

That's all I have for now, but will be adding to this as I think of more things.

Hello, I'm looking for feedback on this brief summary of the events preceding one of my games, and the game itself.

Pre-Empty

Empty 1

I'd like to know what you think of the plot for my RPGMaker project. It's still a work in progress and is based on an abandoned superhero MMORPG.
 
Title: Mekageddon

Genre: Superhero RPG
 
Setting: A modern city under threat from supervillains in 2012. There are three main factions, HeroSpire (floating military base), Super City (neutral), and Skulldeep (underground base near a pool of magma). You play as a HeroSpire member who wants to redeem herself.
 
The Past:

The Recording:

 
The Present: The Characters

Demolicious: A superheroine who lost Pandora's Heart and got laughed at for her failure. Almost nobody thinks she can be a decent heroine because she looks like an executioner and acts strange. To be precise, she's a loner by choice. Her powers are mainly super strength, a large reserve of energy, and the ability to cast a forcefield. She carries a wrecking ball as her weapon.

The Lion Twins: A pair of twin sisters. The elder twin Artisa is a magic painter, able to bring her paintings to life and attack on her behalf. The younger twin Atroxia is a poisoner, the only one in HeroSpire to have such knowledge. Atroxia can also fight in bare-handed combat and includes taekwondo moves in her repertoire.

Herakaris: The Lion Twins' schoolmate. She's a terrible singer who, instead of complaining and griping about said singing, uses it as a weapon to disorient enemies. Her backup weapon is a pistol or some other firearm.

Edit: Clarified some things LooseLeaf was unclear about and modified the story to be less cliche, as well as a little more conflict.

Finally collected all my thoughts and notes on my project together, and for the first time I'm
pretty satisfied with what I've got (usually, my stories become way too contrived, without a clear sense of direction).

I'm going the route of making a simple and "stereotypical" story, and instead of trying to be overly creative

with the greater arch of the story, I'll try to make the unconventional and more complex story/character elements as

a part of the details, like with less stereotypical characters etc.

I won't be going into a lot of details here though, and just stick to the basics, to see whether or not people will find story

generally appealing based on the rough outline.

So the outline for my new game, Sagas Of Legend - Rayan Spring, goes as follows :

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Game -
Traditional JRPG in the vein of earlier FF titles, Breath of Fire, Suikoden, Xenogears, Chrono Trigger/Chrono Cross etc.

Setting -
World of Rayan - Island Kingdoms Rudra

Style -
"Modern-punk" fantasy (80's/90's Earth, combined with medieval high fantasy in the same vein of FF7/8)

Story-style -
Traditional Hero's Journey

Themes -
Neglect and abuse fostering frustration/hatred, Young Love, Sacrifice for the greater good/future generations VS Selfishness

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Story Outline -

Greater Arch :
1 -
Old King is corrupted to pursue war for the sake of uniting the Island Kingdoms.
His daughter, the princess, and her loyal knight(s) run away to pursue an old myth
[those who gather the keys to The Tower of Iggdra, and climb to its surface, will be granted audience with the gods],
so as to restore the old kings broken mind and hardened heart.
2 -
A young orphaned boy [main character], trained and raised by a war-hero,
is caught up in the quest to save the kingdoms, and begins to travel the world together with the princess and her party.

Lesser Arch :
1 -
A mysterious man from the North, Aesop, arrives in the greater kingdom
of Centra, which is suffering from diseases, natural disasters, and poverty.
He gains the trust of the king, landing the role of royal advisor,
and tells the king that the misfortunes plaguing his kingdom are caused
by the displeasure of the gods due to a lack of reverence for the greatest among them, the god Ismael,

and because of the general lack of peace and stability in the isles.
The only way to restore balance to the kingdoms is to join them together as one, in the name of Ismael.
2 -
Aesop and Ismael are one and the same - a young boy planned as a sacrificed
to the gods by his village, only to then by taken in by gods as a curiosity.
After almost two decades of abuse at the hands of the gods, Aedipus manages to steal the god's
fruits and wine, and in consuming them, making himself a near-god.
He nearly destroys the god's abode, and kills many of them, before escaping
back into the world having become Ismael, where he continues to plot his revenge
against the world and the gods by attempting to feed his power through people's reverence.
3 -
The young orphaned boy is the son of the unsanctioned union of man and god,
possessing unique powers and destined to fight for the lands against "the demon Ismael".
His teacher, mentor, and older sister figure, once the greatest knight of the
kingdoms used to be head of the king's private guards.
As such, these two characters stories are inter-linked with the story of
the king and the princess, and Aesop and the gods.
4 -
The gods are an old breed of humans known as Djara, who made great societies
ages ago. However, because of their petty nature and all the conflicts existing
between them, they almost wiped each other out, and almost destroyed the
lands they reigned over in the process.
Before everything was lost entirely, a few of the more reasonable among them
built a fortress [The Tower of Iggdra] to escape the world and the wars,
where they have lived in seclusion ever since.
Their power is great and is fueled by a diet of magical fruits and wine,
together with "reverence", the thoughts of devotion from the people of the lands.

Breakdown -

The protagonist leads a peaceful life with his mentor, who trains him to work under her

as a bouncer and mercenary in a small town.

His life is uprooted as the princess and her party arrives to recruit his mentor for her quest

to save the kingdoms.

Together, they travel across the lands to collect the keys to The Tower of Iggdra, whilst

doing their best to avoid, although sometimes confronting and fighting,

the king's troops who're trying to sabotage their quest on the command of Aesop/Ismael.

They climb the tower, to discover Aesop's/Ismael's real identity, his plans, and what has happened

to the gods.

When they return, Aesop has ceased full power of the Kingdom, and is steadily gaining more power.

He strikes a powerful blow against the protagonist and his party, and everything seems lost.

The protagonist and his party recuperate and start to build up their resistance.

The protagonist learns of his origins, and begins to master a new set of powers for the sake of defeating Aesop/Ismael.

A final battle ensues, and Aesop is defeated.

Aftermath -

- The protagonist dissappears after the final battle, and is pressumed dead.

- The princess retires to the country-side for personal reasons, content to let her sister rule in her place.

- The Isle Kingdoms return to a state of relative peace and stability.

Additional Story notes -

- Romance sub-plot between protagonist and princess running along the primary story

- Each primary character of the party, and of the villains, will have a "personal quest/story-line" consistent with the

theme of "neglect and abuse fostering frustration/hatred", with the primary difference between protagonists and villains,

being that the protagonists overcome their frustration/hatred through their values

(usually consistent with the value of "sacrifice for the greater good/future generations"), whilst the villains will give in

to their hatred and frustration due to selfishness.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And that folks, is essentially it.

Can we jiggy with it?

Hi! This is a pretty early project of mine, and I'm hoping to get some feedback or ideas before I jump into it, if that's all right (also, because I don't like asking for help and getting none, I'll post a few responses to people below my summary). Warning; things are very jumbled and there are a few pieces I have yet to completely explain. I'm not simply adding different loop-holes and arcs to the story that are irrelevant or unexplained. I hate when stories throw stuff at you without properly integrating it into the rules of the world. It just feels like it's cheating.

ANNNNND here we go;

Synopsis:

You play as Atlas, a spirit of sorts who helps solve mysteries that seem a bit too hard to believe (for those who didn't experience it, that is). When no one else is able to help, she steps in to try and solve the issue. Fighting against necromancers and demons alike, she struggles to help those she can while searching for something she lost.

I'm not quite sure how I want the game play mechanics to be yet. I'm quite interested in adding both a fighting system and a detective-esque system where you find clues and solve mysteries. I also plan to have multiple "chapters" or "episodes" where you solve different mysteries, while each one furthers the main story in some way (Sort of like with Phoenix Wright games in this aspect). Again, very early in development but I'll probably look around for ideas.

SPOILERS

Atlas

Story

Main

Ethan

Ending

Other stuff

That's about all I have at the moment. As I said; vague and missing pieces, but I'd like to get feedback while it's fresh. I can't say I have any inspiration to reference, it's mostly just a ton of random thoughts bubbling in my head.

Feedback for others.

Hian

TheOriginalFive

I'll be sure to give feedback on more later, but I've got to get to work and wrap up this post. I hope I could help some, and I hope someone can help me~

In reply to your critique

It was based mainly on the MMORPG where she was declared a failure too easily. Though Luigi has the power to convince almost anyone of anything, even if it's far-fetched.

I plan to have an optional cutscene showing what exactly happened at the start of her game, and how Luigi knew about her intentions will be revealed later on. Anyway, will amend my earlier post to explain the Past better.

Okay, about her father, I didn't actually decide what should happen to him, but I didn't want him to be dead or dying. Guess I should let him remain sick then and the helper will only help if Demo succeeds in retrieving the heart? The helper doesn't hate her.

The executioner part comes from the way she dresses, a half mask covering her face. Glad you like the other characters, but the Twins' names probably aren't going to change at this time.

He isn't "really" orphaned though - He did grow up with his parents for

most of his life, and they just "apparently" died, but I didn't go into that, because I wanted to

keep the intro simple. The blame's on me for that though.

Well, that depends on where you stand. He's essentially trying to deify himself in order to take

"revenge" on pretty much everyone for all the stuff he suffered, so it depends on whether

you think that's bad or not.

I, personally, am a nihilist, so I reject the labels "good" and "bad" as being

nonsensical in either case - the point of this story isn't for me to make moral judgements, but

to allow the player to walk into the narrative without being preached down to by me =P

Maybe some people will feel Aesop is justified in what he is doing?

Again, something I left open for the sake of not making my post too long.

The "gods" in these lands essentially don't give 2 cents about humans and their activities,

and pay no real attention to sacrifices. Usually, the sacrifices, who are just left outside the tower

of the gods, simply die from exposure, or get killed by wild animals.

Aesop however, despite being just a child, manages to survive for quite a few days in the wilderness,

hence piquing the interest of the gods as a curiosity among human children for the strength of his spirit.

The gods are not very nice people though, so despite taking him in, they treat him like garbage.

After all, "he is just human" - a pet.

Nothing to be confused about. As I explained in a later paragraph, they are only gods by virtue of the

fact that this is what humans refer to them as. They're essentially just a higher race of natural

creatures though - The Djara. They're not gods in the sense of the Judeo traditions, or Hinduism.

I am essentially taking the route of Greek/Roman/Norse conception of gods, combined with

a little bit of "ancient aliens" - They're just powerful beings, whom humans call gods for the lack

of understanding of what they actually are.

No, because she's not his real sister. As I said in my post - mentor and older sister figure.

She's a former decorated war-hero and general, whom after being sick and tired of war, retired into

the country-side, and decided to take care of the protagonist after his parents dissappeared.

She's by his side the entire side until she dies fighting Aesop half-way through the game.

I didn't include this in my post because, again, it's just the outline.

The details surrounding the rest of the cast (totaling at around 7 playable characters) was

left out because they're not relevant to the outline.

Also, because roughly half of the cast will die throughout the game, and I wasn't sure

whether or not to spoil that in my first outline.

I can understand how you'd have that impression, but I'd also like to point out that

if you include too many themes to a single story, you're likely to stretch yourself thin, and

dilute the message and thematical clarity of the narrative.

Neglect and abuse also manifests itself in extremely diverse ways, and impacts people very differently.

The antagonist Aesop for instance, has suffered by being given up by his family and village for

a pointless superstition, only to then suffer torment at the hands of his "adopted family"(The Djara)

for being different - which resuls in his unquenchable thirst for power and recognition.

The female mentor character was abused and neglected by her government -

first used and abused on endless campaigns of pointless territorial wars, and then

assigned to quell local riots and kill starving farmers.

This has turned her into a pacifist and stout moralist after her retirement.

The princess has suffered enstragement from her father, the king, as he plumits into madness,

and being made to endure as a pawn of his political games - until she runs away to address the issues

of her future kingdom, which now hates her father, and her by extension.

This has made her keen to prove herself as a person fit to rule, but also makes her emotionally aloof

with trust issues.

All the main characters of the cast having a backstory thematically speaking linked to neglect

and abuse does not hamper diversity much in my experince. Maybe you were thinking

specifically of childhood parenting abuse and neglect? That's not the case here though.

Anyway, I thank you for the kind words (I'll try to repay them by

giving your story a proper read-through next).

I really tried to go with a sort of stereotypical and simple

story this time around. I get the sense that if you try to hard to be original, it often just ends

up being contrived instead.

But it's difficult to balance this without making a trite story instead.

I'm trying to sprite things up though, by using tropes as outlines, and then breaking them

for the sake of suprising the player.

Point in case - and SPOILER alert -

The romantic subplot will have its share of bumps in the road.

In the end, the princess will end up pregnant, and the protagonist will sacrifice himself killing

Aesop, leaving her and the child behind.

This will serve as a potential segway into a sequel,

as I original envisioned this as a four-part story

(Rayan Spring, Rayan Summer, Rayan Fall, and Rayan Winter, inspired by Antonio Vivaldi's Four Seasons).

Some more juice on my plot...

A main theme is the invisible diremption between Progress and Tradition. I say 'invisible diremption' because both terms are actually only relativized according to the present in which we have an attention span that 'notices' the change. The issue of progress and tradition only becomes viable once change takes place fast enough for us to become aware of it. 

This being said, my game's world reflects this in many ways.

- The main villain is the oldest living human being (tradition/old) but simultaneously possesses a dream of eternal progression towards an infinite horizon (progress).

- The government of Arzine is at an ideological chokehold. Their former commander in chief believed in a dream of united nations- solidarity. His vision is now challenged by traditionalists who represent the 'present age'. Irony intended.

- A villain associated with tradition believes that tradition is not mindlessly following the rules of the past, but consists in adaptability. Hates 'progress' as he sees it as regressive.

- Again, Arzine is in the cusp of industrial revolution. The people of old have not had the time to adapt to new rules, transformations, and mongrelizations. This applies to culture, politics, economics etc.

- Veljok the Stable, one of the central powers, does not change at all- they have no conception of tradition or progress. Plays an important role in the story.

- PHOL, a multicultural/racial union of necessity sports internal tension owing to the rates of progress each member of the union has. Ironically united against Arzine in their limitless progress.

- The main protagonist himself is an intersection of tradition and progress through his parentage, but thereby does not feel attached to either camp.

- And much more!

The dialectic between tradition and progress resolves in 'The Timeless'. Just what is it, and where do we find it? Will it bring us bliss or pain? Both? Is it an uplifted version of 'the present moment'?

Two conspiracy groups each represent a different prong with regards to The Timeless. 

1. One wishes for eternal war in order to dispense with time itself- we will be in an infinite struggle. If we can vanquish a war of this nature, we will have evolved as a species.

2. The other believes an eternal war will cause to slink back into an abyss. These want to stymie war in order to research possible ways to improve the essential human condition out of the boom/bust of civilizations.

These themes require much more actual 'plotting out' to make sense. I need to develop the world's specifics a lot more. Thinking of incorporating a lot of political drama which will run up against the inexorable influence of the conspiracy groups. 

Hello, I have a character issue and I just need advice as to how to portray him.

There is a knight in the main party, and he is sort of rough around the edges and can be hotheaded, but he is also loyal and kind. I would like to know a few things, all feedback is welcome.

He sometimes has conflict with a cleric in the main party. They don't quite see eye to eye. The knight has kind of a code based on justice and overall goodness, whereas the Cleric has a code based on natural order and goodness. For example, say the party were to find out the identity of a local werewolf, and all efforts to find a cure had been unsuccessful. The knight would want to find some type of resolve for this. It would eat him up. He would never kill this man in his human form, because he is innocent in his eyes. However, he must find a solution. The cleric would suggest killing the werewolf. He is a cleric, and he has a code to uphold all that is good, but his priority is to both preserve natural life and cleanse the world of unnatural threats. (Zombies, vampires, werewolves, etc). In this situation, these characters would clash hard. 
How can I portray this knight in a way that balances his goodness and his hotheadedness in any situation?
How can I portray their strong rivalry, while also convincing the player that, when things get serious, these allies trust each other? Any ideas?

Fernyfer775, I just read your post, it sounds really interesting. Sounds like it has great potential for some great, comedic situations. Also, what types of enemies are there? Is it a modern world, and then there are monsters in this world as well? Are the enemies created/hired/summoned by that warlock?