Plot and Character Feedback

Ok, I'll bite... :)

The project I am currently working on is based off of a sequel I made for RM2K3. I've basically been working on this for years (3?) on and off... mostly off as life happens.

Title: NeoKrystal 3

Genre: Fantasy RPG

Atmosphere: Typical heroes save the world from evil game

Story: May contain small spoilers... 

[spoilers]

Stage:

The game is set in a world name Gaia and is based off of 10,000 years later after the original First Era of the Saviors.

Background information:

The planet Gaia was created by a creator of the name Relm. In order to create balance in the world, 4 crystals (Earth, Wind, Water, Fire) were created and 4 Saviors were born in order to protect them. Relm had an evil brother named Zeto who was envious of this power and tried to steal their strength. After a many battles (referred to as the Mystic War), the Saviors were victorious and sent Zeto into a sealed world named the Void.

In the original NeoKrystal game, the seal is broken and in the second one, an offspring is of Zeto is set to get revenge.

(The intro explains this a little better)

Now the story:

10,000 years later, an evil presence is among Gaia. The soul of Ex-Death from the Third Era of Saviors hasn't been laid to rest and his henchmen are around to gain the powers of the crystals. Currently in Gaia, there are now 12 crystals. Fire, Water, Thunder, Ice, Wind, Earth, Flower, Steel, Light, Dark, Celestial (healing), and Sound that are in jeopardy. Also the story of the Saviors that used to be passed down to generations is barely shared anymore.

One day, our main hero, Eidan, is told soldiers from a neighboring castle have invaded the small village in order to investigate the Fire Cavern. However the Fire Cavern is blocked off by a strong flame that incinerates all that get close to it, so no one has been inside of it. Eidan tries to warn the soldiers but to no avail and quickly hurries to the castle to alert the king of the trouble that stands before them and to prevent any lives from being lost.  However the king orders Eidan to explore the Cavern instead and if he does not comply will hold him captive.

Eidan, and a few others ordered to join him approach them flame, which as they do, magically disappears, allowing them entrance. As the player continues to the end of the cave, they meet their first Crystal, the Crystal of Fire, which alerts them that an evil entity is draining their power. The Crystal hands Eidan the Fire Shard and unlocks his power as the Savior of Fire. 

The rest of the story follows their discovery of the remaining Saviors who don't know they're saviors yet (mostly), solving who is threatening to destroy Gaia, and their journey to stop them. 

[/spoilers]

Main Characters:

[spoilers]

Eidan

Savior of Fire

Eidan is the typical stand up for what is right kind of guy. Ideally, his growth is he has a hard time parting from his village that he feels he needs to protect to leaving for this adventure. In fact, most of the first half of the story he would rather travel back home then save the world, only because he strongly wants to make sure his village is safe. In battle, Eidan wields axes, cast fire spells, and can provoke enemies. 

Sveta

Saviors of Stars (Celestial)

Kind-natured young girl who has known of her powers to heal since birth. Sveta isn't very strong but is very courageous. In battle she uses rods, can casts healing and support spells (primarily a cleric). 

Nadine

Savior of Wind

Rough, and brutally honest general soldier. She is admired for her strength and power and strong loyalty to her king. In battle, Nadine wields Spears, calls upon the wind, and can use a jump skill (similar to Dragoon jump in FF series).

Cyrus

Savior of Thunder

Respected soldier, and avid treasure hunter, he is always looking for big treasure to collect. Cyrus can steal, use thunder magic, and attacks with daggers.

Valencia

Savior of Water

A cold personality, with a hot head. Valencia isn't afraid to attack anything regardless of her fists. Emotionally cold, deep down she has a lot going inside with her feelings which is why she is so quick to fight back. Valencia uses gloves to brawl, water magic, and during battle can go berserk.

Oliver

Savior of Steel

Oliver is sort of the second protagonist in the story. Having a dream from Relm causes him to search for a girl with his friend from childhood Raven. It isn't explained at first, but Oliver was left at a Kingdom and raised as a Knight, but wasn't told the King wasn't his real father. When he found out, he left home and never returned. Oliver is your typical Knight who will guard attacks for comrades, and can use Steel magic to raise his strength. 

Raven

Savior of Darkness

Raven is a childhood friend of Oliver and always goes with him on whatever journey he asks her too. (spoiler) it isn't explained at first, but Raven has a huge love interest in Oliver. Also, she is a twin, but doesn't. Her twin is a Savior of Darkness too, but unfortunately is working for Ex-Death and not with the rest of the team. (end spoiler). Raven uses a staff to enhance her magical abilities that are dark based and cause a plethora of bad effects on enemies.

Lucia

Savior of Light

Lucia is a quiet but dedicated Savior. (I actually need to expand on her character, I can't say much about her). She wields bows and cast light magic.

Delphine

Savior of Flowers

Delphine is a spunky young girl who lives in a town surrounded by forests and flowers. Because of this, she has potency in item usage. She lives next to a forest where a fog has been the cause of visitors who disappear. When Eidan meets her, they investigate together. She uses a whip to attack and calls upon the aid of plants and flowers for magic. 

Adam

Savior of Earth

Adam is a quiet adventurer that seems to wandering for no known stated reason. The reason was that he didn't grow up around civilization. Because of this, he has a better immunity to diseases and is more in tone with Gaia. When unlocked, Adam can cast earth magic, use the terrain he is standing on to attack, and uses a boomerang/projectile as a weapon.

Izul

Savior of Ice

Izul was a Savior in the Second Era of Saviors, (spoilers) but after defeating Zeto, froze himself with his Ice powers as he could sense evil coming later. Because of how much time has passed by, Izul has no memory of his past, except that he knows to fight in battle. The duration of the story is him trying to remember what happened. Izul uses guns to attack, ice magic, and can scan enemy information. 

Bartz

Savior of Sounds

A hidden Savior that no one had known, but due to the precedent evil among Gaia, awoke to battle. Surprisingly, Bartz knows what is going on more than most of the other Saviors. He uses a harp in battle and also to enhance his magic powers that cause status effects on all enemies or the whole party.

[/spoilers]

Thanks for taking the time to read. I appreciate any questions and constructive criticism. 

There are some interesting ideas there.  I'm sure I'll be using some of them.  As for the knight not knowing these people well?  Imagine you basically idolized them growing up and saw everything they did through those blinders.  Also, peoples' characters are often revealed when they have the opportunities.  When they were in the Church, maybe they were basically more-or-less decent, if a bit greedy or sometimes mean.  But their full sinister potential didn't blossom until they were far away and under duress.  See:  The Crusades.

I like the idea of the hero acting under some kind of spell limitation, but it is a very fine line, because at the start of the game, he would be the only real healer.  What I'd probably say is the seal only really has power over him because he thinks it does.  So it "works" because he believes it does --- and belief is the core of Faith, after all.  So, it prevents him from reaching his full potential.  Or I might have that part happen in the middle of the game, after the party has acquired other Healers who can take on the MC's load.  So we experience the Hero's birth, partial ascension (which is limited), then he's Sealed --- and when he breaks that mental limitation, his full power blossoms.

I also like the idea of the hero not being the only truly good knight.  Some other reasons the others might be willing to murder:

- They truly believe the Church officials are right and these villagers must be Cleansed (see: Knight Templar trope)

- They are scared to do what is right and risk their own execution

- They are greedy for the loot they'd acquire

- Some have had their Pride offended by the implication that maybe they are not as good as they think they are.

- Some have lost their Faith after their expected Divine abilities failed to blossom.  Of course they didn't blossom because said Knights were not being present in a spiritual sense, but lost in their heads

So there could be a wide variety of reasons why so many Knights turn against our hero, and why he would be taken by surprise. 

I recently won the DS resource pack, so I thought I'd make a game. My first shot will be an RPG.

I only know the first basic section of the story, sadly.

Title: --not known--

Setting: High Fantasy

Atmosphere: Light-hearted, yet with dark, serious moments.

Two friends are often mocked in the town they live in (village/city), and have negative reputations. Darren is the youngest son of an esteemed upper middle-class family and failed becoming a knight due to his passive, cowardly nature. Many townsfolk scoff at his weakness. Maerwys is a poor girl, working in a general goods store. Though she is highly intelligent and knowledgeable about herbs, she is seen as a "weirdo who's probably got dark secrets" because she talks to herself and no one understands her.

One day it is discovered that a lamia has been kidnapping young children and taking them to her lair deep in the woods. Whoever brings back her head will be prized a grand amount of coin. Darren, sick of everyone laughing at him, decides he's going to kill it and prove to everyone he's not a coward. Maerwys forces herself with him, knowing there will be interesting plants to be found, and she is also tired of being mocked.

----

This section of the game has them travel through a forest and into the lamia's lair, complete with a boss fight.

The idea for what happens afterwards is that they weaken the lamia a great deal through teamwork and their wits, but a group of vagrants comes in and steals the kill AND the lamia's head. Instead of backtracking to town and worsening their reputations ("Remember when we said we were going to kill the lamia, well we failed"), they follow the vagrants hoping to take what they think is their's.

And that's all I have...

I'm quite curious on what people think of this plot? I'm still working on it some, but the general Idea is this:

In the year 2088 man started World War III. Nuclear warfare destroyed the Earth, yet the fight still continued on. After two years something baffling happened. Every single adult over the age of eighteen vanished into thin air. The adults who were eighteen, and the kids younger then 18 only remained. That is not the only thing that happened, technology and everything man made until that time have also been destroyed and gone, not a trace. Throwing this world back into the Stone Age. Although the surviving people called it this, that is not really what it was. It was as if the Earth hit it's reset button. The year is now 2095 and after 5 years every child below the age 15 died. They could not take care of themselves, they either starved, committed suicide, or wild animals got a hold of them. Of course they were not the only age group to commit suicide, they just happened to be the age group who have done it more so. It is now, that they have deemed this: Destiny Day. These children called it this, because they thought it was their destiny, and their chance, to better the world. In the middle of the 2095 year, which the now dub 5 A.D.D (After Destiny Day), they noticed something very unusual. A very slight people could harness magic, although it was very weak, it still opened up another "science" to them. How to make the world better through this magic, how to protect it's villages.

That's all I have for now!

Who would you play as? Originally 18 year-olds that are now in around 25? Are there no kids at all now? Do they have villages that are so ill-kept that they can't sustain kids at all? Was -every-single- trace of the old world destroyed/vanished, or are there buildings and stuff left around in a ruin-type situation?

---------

Well I think I'll put up one of my future project ideas here, a short game, will probably be titled something like "Aether Chronicles: The Determined Runback" or sumthin like that. (same world as my current project)

Well I kinda give the whole story with spoilers and all here, but I'm just wonderin if it's interesting. Of course there will be some more details and events in the actual version, lol.

Yes absolutely my game is about redemption of me fighting in a war zone getting over painfully memories with a bit of a silver lining I hope I have not disturbed anyone

I have redone some of the concepts in my earlier "Last Justice" plot:

PCs:
    JOSHUA (PALADIN):
    
    His family was from House Tartil - a well known House who provided some of the most beloved rulers of the Empire.  However, when his father inherited the Estate, he found they had almost no money left, so his parents sent him to the Church for training.  His teachers quickly found he was too restless to be a good Priest, even though some of his teachers felt Faith inside him, so he started training as a Squire when he was not yet 10.
    
    His parents were very proud when he became a Knight.  At his Ceremony, they promised to give him a family heirloom when he returned from his first Crusade.  But, inside him he felt something he couldn't put words to.  The many rituals and observances he made during his training seemed empty to him, and only a handful of Priests seemed to understand.  But he didn't know what his Faith was, or if he even felt anything anymore.
    
    All seemed to go well for him as a Knight, until their Crusade took them to a village, and the other Knights opened their sealed order.  It declared the village apostate and required the Knights "cleanse" the village.  Several Knights ran off in protest.  Joshua point blank refused to carry out the order, which was against the First Rule: "Do no harm to any Being except in dire need".  When his sword-brothers reminded him of the Binding Oath, which magically bound them to the Church's service, he said he felt nothing.  His friend Felianna sided with him and said she, too, felt nothing.
    
    His sword-brothers begged them both to recant what they said, since if they could not be Bound, they were also apostate.   He refused to recant, and nearly got one of them to admit he, too, felt no magic.  Felianna stood by his side, ready to defend him unto death, as is proper for sword-brothers.  But, the Church had become far more severe than it was centuries ago, so, even if they were not bound by Magic, the Church would surely use Force and execute every Knight which did not follow Its command.
    
    The Knights who remained quickly defeated Joshua and Felianna, but then, seeing the blood on their hands, and Joshua and Felianna's broken bodies, begged the Goddess for forgiveness and ran away.
    
    As Joshua lay dying, he heard the Goddess herself say "You truly believe.  Please, help prepare my Church.  They've become lost.  There is so little time."  Then he awoke as a Paladin, some time later in Samuel's house.  
    
    PERSONALITY:  Sharply ambivalent about the Church --- obviously sickened by the "cleansing", yet he has faith in the Goddess, but although he's lost faith in the Church, he still misses his fellow Knights --- the only family he's ever known.  He can snap to decisions very quickly, for good or ill and tends to be direct in his speech.
    
    SAMUEL (SAGE):
    
    Samuel took Joshua and Felianna into his home and Healed them.  Samuel wants more than anything to explore the world and read more books, since Sages mainly learn their spells by reading books.
    
    He earns his keep as a local healer, but Magic is his passion.  He hopes to learn more Healing magic as well as more potent offensive magic.
    
    His parents are fairly stingy (but wealthy) merchants who bought him the small house, books and such, so he would be out of their hair.
    
    PERSONALITY:  More innocent than Joshua in the ways of the world, he is a bit absent-minded and prone to babbling (if he's not off somewhere in his head). He is very gifted with Magic and item crafting.
    
    Felianna (KNIGHT):
    
    Joshua's sword brother, who stood toe to toe with him as a few other Knights turned against them and tried to execute them.  She was not directly Blessed by the Goddess.  Her primary loyalty is to her sword-brother, for whom she was willing to lay down her life.  She, too, was sickened by the "cleansing"
    
    DREYA (BARD):
    
    Grew up in the Thieve's Guild, with her mother as the Head Thief, until she died in one of the Crusades, before Joshua's fateful one.  She holds a deep grudge against the Knights and wants to find who ordered the execution (nobody did but she doesn't know that).  She believes the King personally ordered the Thieves Guild cleansed (since that is what the Knights did) and holds him responsible.
    
    Then she was taken in by a band of Gypsies who gave her food and shelter.   In trade, she "borrowed" items they needed from time to time.  Slowly, she learned the intricacies of performance and dance, to add to her skills.  Several years later, she left the Gypsies in a city.  They bade her farewell and gave her some precious items.
    
    Now she earns her keep as an Bard, using her Thieves' training as needed.
    
    PERSONALITY:  The most jaded of the party, she is very blunt by default.  She's much more likely to take action than stand around discussing.
    
    PLOT POINTS:
    
    Because the Church has drifted away from the Goddess's teachings, focusing instead on ritual without meaning, force without compassion and so on, the Goddess first sent Visions aplenty to Her priests.  When the Visions were ignored, she withdrew her Magic.  Now, only those who truly, deeply believe such as Joshua, are still able to use Magic within the Church.
    
    The Rituals still remain, but only a rare few can ever channel the Goddess's Magic, only those who have Faith.  So, in most cases, the Rituals' sole power is because the receiver believes the Rituals work.  
    
    In response, the Church became more and more aggressive, separating itself further from the Goddess, even as genuinely Faithful still received plenty of Magic.  The Faithful then started to hide from the feared Inquisitors who seemed determined to root out and "disappear" the Faithful.
    
    This is the Church's greatest secret, and is why they ordered the "cleansing" of the village.  Samuel has found a key hint, in a language he does not know, which points the way to hidden prophecies that foretell a Final Battle, not between Light and Dark, but between BOTH Order (which is BOTH Light and Dark) and Chaos.
    
    Outside the Church, many can use Magic, but those who can use Magic from the Goddess must have her personal Favor.
    
    After finding their Knights have failed, and Samuel has left, they promptly execute the failed Knights and start some Inquisitors searching for Joshua.  For the Church desperately needs people who can truly use magic, but dares not advertise openly for it.
    
   

KURIS STATUS EB44""145 designate time.traveller in the warrior of harkness you must fight phaintos in a future world filled with teleporting flying cars and Sajai on your quest you have Sajai laticia annabelle and queen phenomenon

Thats my plot

Oh and the lamia appears as a tech warrior in my game and look out for sucumbus

Wow Jdh34, dont tripple post like that :p

@darkmetamorphosis. Sorry dude still if.we combined our efforts who knows

Merged the posts so it's not quite so spammy. Jdh34, you really need to read the rules and follow them.

First off, congrats on your win! Your post piqued my interest, and it looks like it hasn't been responded to yet, so allow me.

I like how both characters have clear and believable motives for putting themselves in danger, though Maerwys could be elaborated on a little. Darren wants to gain a reputation as a dependable hero, that makes sense. For Maerwys, you mentioned that she was poor, so I'd definitely add the monetary reward as a big motive for her. You said that she was tired of being mocked, and I didn't know if that meant about her poverty or just her character, so I figured I'd mention it just in case.

The twist with the vagrants opens up great moral dilemmas that you can explore. They can take the moral low ground, and attack the vagrants, stealing back the head and claiming that they killed the lamia themselves. Or, they can take the high ground, and let the vagrants go and sleep a little more soundly, despite not improving their life circumstances.

Low ground

Pros: fame, leading to increased social standing and respect; fortune, improving their quality of life

Cons: violence, potentially having to injure or murder other people; deceit, having to lie about what happened; vengeance, if the vagrants rally against them for revenge

High ground

Pros: peace of mind, knowing that ultimately you did the "right" thing; safety, by not making enemies with the vagrants

Cons: public shame, worsening your reputation as a failure; poverty, by missing out on the reward

If they decide to take the head back by force, you could do a whole host of butterfly effect results from it. Maybe one of them becomes injured during the heist. Maybe the vagrants regroup and attack their village as revenge, putting more blood on their hands. Maybe the lamia is part of some greater evil, and now you become a target for being the one to kill it.

Talking about the possibilities is getting me excited, haha. Hopefully my rambling has helped in some way. Looking forward to your project!

Thank you for responding! Your post helped me a lot with where to go after all that! I have more ideas now, yessshhh! Haha.

Again, thank you so much!

Do these charecters seem belivable? They seem so to me in the game, yet when i put there qualities on the page they seem a little out there. I have more, I just haven't gotten that far into the story yet were there personalities have gotten to were i can put them down. the later 2 are introduced about an hour into the game

Esperanza- strong, confident. Sometimes the voice of reason. An optimist, veiwing her limitations as oppertunities to grow. one of the only things that can upset her, is the thought of other people hurt. At times, she can be over confident, and belives in her strengths a bit too much. but she's never concieted. Stranded on a deserted island for three years, all she wants to do is get home to see her friends and family.

Clara- Just plain doesn't care anymore what other people think about her. A smart aleck on occasion, and a little out there. But serious when she needs to be. She likes intellegent discusion, as much as inward reflection. A bit of a pyro maniac, and likes to find oddities about the world, and paranormal activity.

(No name yet...)- was once a healer, but the constant sight of other people hurt, and there pain and sad feelings made him go into forensic analysis. He sleeps too much when he get's a chance, and doesn't eat as much as he needs to at times. Though he doesn't let his feelings impede his day-to-day work. He likes to be around people who are in a cheery mood, though doesn't always get that chance 

I scrapped the backstory I posted because I got no feedback on it. Though I want feedback on my charecters. If you think there flat, or cliche's or just a little to out there. I want to here it. I am someone who can take constructive critisizm, and would like peoples honest opinion about them.

Sometimes I even argue on the opposite side of a topic I have an opinion on, and have even switched sides arguing for then against on a forum. So please, tell me what you all really think about them

Hi Oddball, I will try to give some feedback on your characters.

She sounds like she would be the leader of the group. Her optimism and overall confidence would allow her to lead and motivate the party. However, what she lacks compared to the other two characters is a weakness or conflict. Being stranded on a deserted island is a tangible conflict, but how about an inner conflict? She gets upset at the thought of other people being hurt -- okay, but how often does she come across this situation in her day to day life (before getting stranded, I mean)? And what does getting upset mean for her? Perhaps it causes her to do rash actions that she regrets afterwards. Consequences. It's not interesting to just have her feel angry/sad when another person gets hurt. That's maybe a layer 1 effect on her, but how about going 1 layer deeper?

I like that you gave a character that is not self-conscious interests that "normal" people might raise an eyebrow at. It helps to solidify that carefree attitude. Since you say, "doesn't care anymore", I take it that she used to care what others thought of her, must have struggled with it for awhile, and overcame that problem and now has the ability to live without the constraints of the public eye. Of the three characters, she is the most interesting to me. However, this means she's already overcome an inner struggle, which means she needs something else to deal with during the events of the game. Players/readers are interested in character arcs, seeing a character progress in story, so you just have to make sure that she still has things to work on -- other things to struggle with.

This man sounds like he might struggle with depression. He oversleeps when he can, doesn't eat enough, can't stand the sight of people being hurt, and likes to be around cheery people. This could be an interesting internal conflict for him to deal with in the game. Assuming you intend for him to be depressed, the question would be, "why is he depressed?" What caused it? Is it simply seeing the pain and sadness in others that gets him down? Or is there something more?

@Harmil: the no-named man struggles with depression, because he is an empath, and used to treat severe wounds and deal with people in severe pain. He is conflicted because he wants to still ease those peoples pain, yet he doesn't want to to feel all that hurt and suffering anymore

Clara does have another conflict, because she was chased out of her village because she is a lesbian, and she had a curse put on her that makes hungry monsters seek her out to eat her, and she wants to get that lifted 

Also, being over-confident can be bad, because you can get into a situation and not pull out until it's too late. I wanted to make her prideful, yet not conceited. There are also several points in the game, were she's injured severely, yet tries to carry on despite that, but I'll think about seeing if i can work in an extra weakness

and yes, I did intend for him to be struggling with depression

@Oddball So far I like your character personality/trait outlines, but one thing seems to strike me as off about the no-named man: if it was seeing others' suffering that turned him away from being a healer, then why forensic analysis? Wouldn't he still be exposed to suffering, albeit indirectly? I suppose you could argue it's not as bad because it is indirect, but at the same time that raises the issue of him not being able to do anything to ease the suffering he sees since it is indirect? (Hopefully that makes sense, if not I'll try and hash out a better explanation of what I mean.) Having said all that, the above could simply be part of his conflict. He wants to help people but he struggles with being so close to their pain and suffering, but at the same time, his desire to help doesn't allow him to completely separate himself from people who are suffering which is how he ended up in what (as I mentioned in the first couple sentences) seems like an odd position for someone with his issues.

As for myself, here is a rough description of the backdrop and some story elements for a project I'm working on: (a bit of Indiana Jones meets End of Tomorrow with some Cloud Atlas type story arcs thrown in)

I know there isn't a lot of details here, some of that is intentional, most of it is because some of the details I have in mind conflict with others and I haven't reached a final decision on how/which to alter to make them fit correctly. I'm mostly posting this for feedback on the general idea of this setting/theme/story arc, but I'm certainly open to any ideas and criticism anyone has.

Hey everybody. I've been working on a plot for quite some time now, and was wondering what you all think.

Title: Ignis.

Setting: Pre-world war II technology in some places, higher/lower in others. The ascendance of electricity is continuing apace. 

Atmosphere: Dry but highly woven environments lead to total submersion in world. Overall, one of intrigue with dark underpinnings that burst at the seams as the story heads towards it's climax.

___

Introductory portion:

An agent breaks into a highly modern scientific facility, communicating at all points with somebody over an intercom. He's trying to reach a 'penetralium' of sorts in order to gain access to the central computer of the facility, so that he can 'overclock and overload'.

Upon reaching this room, he tampers with the facility's main computer before the lights in the facility all dim. This character says: "You, who have ruined our once good name. Time to die." Before the screen cuts.

________________________________________

The logo would ideally come on after this introductory sequence, and after this fanfare you'd acquire access to another set of characters- totally unrelated to those who came before.

One of these is the main protagonist: He's a former tentative academic who studied at the humanities facility of his university before he ditched them. He had been looking not for meaning to his life, but rather wanted to understand life on its own terms when it got tough- so he left his school claiming everybody there were hypocrites. He's relatively inexperienced but highly willful and strong. Roughly 23 years old. 

In addition is the squad leader, Alice: She on the contrary is highly experienced, an avowed atheist, and good at manipulating people subtly in order to get the job done. She makes a good leader owing to her depth of psychological skill, but ultimately has a chip on her shoulder owing to her upbringing- her father was the greatest military leader the country had ever seen, having won a decisive victory in a world war not too long ago. 

 Your job is to investigate a training mission that the Novo Templarship, a recent religious extremist group, has apparently initiated relatively nearby. A spy had supplied you with that information, and your camp, belonging to the government of Arzine and Mercenary group coalition has decided to allow you to go in the hopes of assassinating the lieutenant overseeing the operation.

As you proceed into enemy territory, you encounter the spy that supplied this information to you. He is bespectacled but rather cold. He stops by to give you more information and the cryptic warning: "Beware the One with a red eye". Before he states he's heading back to give another report to his 'employer'. After he whisks himself off, you continue your investigation.

As the report says, you encounter a small group of trainees fighting in the terrain. The lieutenant overseeing them looks a little nervous, as if expecting something or someone to pop up out of nowhere. A cracking sound mysteriously sounds off behind you, and the squadron training overhears you. The first boss battle against the lieutenant and co. proceeds.

After winning, the pressure in the air becomes unbearable. Struggling to turn around and face the growing source, you see, perched at the top of the cliff, a 7 foot figure wearing a robe. bearing an apparent mask, he has one electrically illuminated blue eye in one 'socket' and on the other, a distinct, red, organic one with a robotic eye-lid that re-lubricates it from time to time. Next to this figure is another similar looking but much smaller one. This one has no red eyes.

The seated one looks up to the standing red-eyed one, motioning with his middle finger and pointer down towards your squad. Nodding, the red-eyed one jumps down and engages. He brutally kills off every one of your squad members save for you and Alice. You blank out as the pressure becomes unbearable.

You wake up in a another town. Your new mission being to uncover the mystery surrounding the spy, the Novo Templar, and the red eyed behemoth and friend. As well as to discover just what occurred in the first cutscenes of the game... 

________________________________________________

The game I have in mind will be a highly philosophical and political adventure through the land. I've posted about the specifics of the setting elsewhere. The game will feature microcosmic (personal) and macrocosmic (political) developments that approach a singularity in the philosophical pinnings to the story. I can post more if others are interested.

@point08: I'll take what you said to heart. I figured examining dead bodies and such would be a way he could put his experience as a healer to use. Without letting his gift of empathy get in the way

I suppose he is very conflicted, and that's why he is depressed. I never really thought about where i was going with him. although he is an important character to the story. all my characters are, but after what you said, i think i have an idea of where to go with him. He definitely needs to deal with this conflict somehow. though i think i have an idea beyond that too now. so thank you

by the way, I named him Nos. I was just typing in letters at the time, but i put it into Google translate and found it means "us" in Portuguese. Which kind of fits an empath actually 

Edit: also, your game explores the same area's back to the future kind of does. also, what's your charecters conflict?