Plot and Character Feedback

Okay this is from my phone but here's the beginning of my game so far. Characters have only been named and draft classes chosen.

Actors:

-Soryn (Warrior)

-Tobi (Sorceror)

Here we go...

Now I think I'm on to something with this plot. It's my second game but the first plot I actually thought out and worked on first. I hope you enjoy it and please give me any suggestions.

Due to lack of feedback on my original project thread, I guess I'll make a post here to see if somebody have the time and good will to give my plot/story/setting a look.
Thanks in advance for any feedback and/or constructive criticism!

Story

Overarching Plot/Setting :

You are Benedict Grimlock, the last descendant and prodigy of the famous Grimlock family - a family that has been dedicated to the eradication of "unnatural"(a term used to refer to what we otherwise refer to as supernatural, to illustrate the hate for these kind of phenomenon within the narrative) creatures for several hundred years - and an agent to The Confederacy(I haven't named any of the countries with exception of the island where the game takes place as I want to keep things simple and the focus on the point where the action takes place).

After having spent time in seclusion, due to a botched mission 4 years ago, Benedict is once again called upon to take up his old code name "The White Fox", and embark on a mission to stop The Confederacy from being plunged into war with its neighbor, The Empire, once again(These two factions have a long history of war).

The politically and strategically significant Duchy of Cascaria, located on The Isle of The Elder(also known as The Cursed Isle) has been subject to a coup, a rebellion, orchestrated and lead by former members of Benedict's own previous military unit.
The Dukes family, a family forged through political marriage to signify the peace between The Confederacy and The Empire, has been kidnapped.

With the upcoming revision of the peace treaty between the two great powers, public knowledge of prior Confederacy soldiers having occupied the Duchy, would be a political nightmare.
Thus, "The White Fox", the only soldier with the knowledge and skills to defeat the former members of "S.I.U(Special Investigation Unit) Reaper", is dispatched to save the Duke's family without drawing attention to what has happened.

Sub-setting 1 :

In ancient times, there was once a race of being born from darkness(this race evolved through the process of natural selection in an environment and with a disposition that favored extreme selfishness and brutish behavior - thus "born from darkness"), called "The Shahadrin", now commonly known as "The Elders".

These creatures were powerful beyond that of any other creature on earth, and they possessed knowledge about the ways of reality beyond human comprehension.
However, they were petty and spiteful. They fought amongst themselves, and with time they become nearly extinct as a result of their own internal conflicts.
In the vacuum of power left in their wake, mankind took up the role as masters of the earth.

The Isle Of The Elder, today known as The Duchy of Cascaria, was once the home of one of the last Elders.
For many hundred years, it has been the center for "unnatural activity" - rumors of creatures of the night roaming the isle are common to this day.

Some time ago, in the old mines on the island, miners came across some old ruins that seemed connected to The Elders.
After the ruins were unearthed, the occurrences increased in frequency, and in nature(the island seems to be haunted by the ghosts of the victims of the Elder that used to live there, but also of victims of men that started living there after the Elder died. The strange residue of power has warped the natural life there, creating a large amount of strange creatures, and strange flora and fauna)

The Church of The Confederacy(similar to that of the Catholic Church in our world in terms of policy, but with a completely different faith), worried what this might herald for the future, demanded that the Secondary Armed Forces(the military section devoted to dealing with "unnatural occurrences") of The Confederacy, dispatch a unit capable of special investigations into such matters.

Sub-setting 2:

Some decades before the incident in Cascaria, the Church of The Confederacy, in tandem with the Secondary Armed Forces, lead a nation-wide hunt for unnatural creatures, in an attempt at cleansing the land and making it safe for the good and god-fearing citizens of the lands.

The primary enemy was "The Witches of Elam" - a cult of humans capable of wielding magic achieved through dark rituals from the "Age of The Elders".

Many thousand people were rounded up and mercilessly killed for the common good.
One of the champions of "modern morality and pure religious faith", was the Grimlock Family.

How it all works out:

Well, the game sets you out with Benedict Grimlock being forced out of his seclusion by his former commander, and coerced into taking on the mission of saving the Duke of Cascaria and his family, and divert a political crisis.

Now, the first sub-setting is made relevant because the culprits are not actually on the island just for the sake of making a political mess, but are actually there to take control of the Elder Ruins that they were tasked to oversee, and take possession of something left behind within the ruins.

This ties into the second sub-setting having to do with the church and the witch hunts.
The father of Benedict Grimlock, although the head of one of best families dedicated to the destruction of unnatural creatures, find out during the worst part of the witch hunts, that his own wife is in fact a witch.
Although his heart is torn, he disowns and kills his wife, but finds that he is unable to kill his son who also carries Witch blood within him.
Benedict, traumatized by the events, is put in the army, and through counseling, is made to forget what happened.

Within the church though, a realization is made that unnatural creatures cannot possible be destroyed completely with conventional means, so they aspire to make a special unit of soldiers who carry the blood of unnatural beings.
These kind of children are dubbed "hybrids", and they outperform humans in almost every single way.
Like Benedict though, they are brainwashed into storing the larger part of their power, and the knowledge of their lineage far away into the recesses of their minds. Together, these individuals make up "S.I.U(special investigation unit) Reaper".
Benedict joins the unit, and the unit has a successful career for some time, until 4 years prior to incident in Cascaria, when the unit was officially disbanded(although several members of the unit where unofficially kept around the army for various covert operations)

The remaining former members of "Reaper" are dispatches to investigate the unnatural phenomenon and the ruins discovered on the island duchy.
Upon researching the Elder ruins, they rediscover their true nature and lineage, and decide to take vengeance upon the Church and the country that wronged them.

Deep within the ruins, the spirit of The Elder of Cascaria, The Shahadrin, rests, waiting for a host so it can return to wreak chaos upon the world.
Reaper plan to provided the Shahadrin with a host, and use its power to take revenge.

Benedict, as he maneuvers around the island, discovers his true nature, his lineage, and the goals of his former comrades from "S.U.I Reaper", must face his past(the death of his mother at the hand of his father), his present(dealing with his former comrades) and the future(figuring out what to do with his new knowledge about what his country has subjected him to, and others like him).


Additional Notes:

I'm leaving the main description above a bit obtuse, so as not to spoil most of the major plot points and scenes in the game, but the entire story is as good as finished.

However, here are some additional information and details to put the above into perspective :

The game itself is a "Stealth Adventure RPG", the core mechanic revolving around stealth, puzzle solving, and a wee bit of combat.

Although you only control The White Fox, Benedict Grimlock, you have a Metal Gear Solid Codec like tool for regular communication with a cast of characters that you either meet, or who provide you support from afar, during the game.

There will also be plenty of interaction with, and delving into the background of, the members of the "S.I.U Reaper".

In any case here is a small bio for each of the most important characters(there will be more characters in the hub cities, such as merchants etc that you will deal with regularly, but these still haven't been finalized, and probably won't play such a significant role in the story).

From Upper Left, to Lower Right -




Special Investigation Unit Reaper(Former Members)

Benedict Grimlock - The White Fox(main Character)
- Mid twenties
- Well balanced, professional demeanor
- neutral in the narrative to allow the player to project
(many game-play aspects depend on how the player plays the game, so Benedict's personality will to some extent mirror your playing style)
- Can use any kind of weapon with ease
- Can use various spells

Eziel Darkgrow - The Black Fox(former squad leader of Reaper)
- Mid Twenties
- Generally well balanced, but at times impulsive, professional demeanor
- Pragmatist
- No real interests besides warfare and espionage
- Weapon of Choice : Swords and rapiers
- Special Witch Skills: Fast Regeneration, and a wide range of spells

Ramza - The Silver Titan
- Age unknown
- Unnervingly calm and professional, enigmatic
- Seems to know pretty much everything
- A religious man
- Weapon of choice : Axes and hammers
- Special Witch Skills: Earth magic, super strength

Brodara - The Blue Owl
- Age unknown
- Calm, but in "I'm about to have a fit" kind of way, disturbed
- Cares only for bloodshed
- Has a creepy obsession with children
- Weapon of choice : punching daggers
- Special Witch Skills : Ice magic, and the ability to draw the life out of others to make himself stronger

Medusa - The Red Panther
- Mid twenties
- Sometimes cool, sometimes passionate, likes to have things her way
- Likes to pretend to be dumber than she is, and is very well read
- Weapon of choice : Whip and dagger
- Special Witch Skills : Fire magic, super speed

Poison - The Green Python
- Late twenties
- Generally appears like "The soft-spoken daydreamer", but is extremely perceptive, and has a deep cruel and violent streak
- A hunter at heart
- Weapon of choice : Bow
- Special Witch Skills : Status Effect Magic, and camouflage

Frethe - The Void
- Specific age unknown, but seems to have lived for more than 150 years
- "The Academic", "The researcher obsessed with human suffering"
- Calm and seems rather nice, but he lacks the ability to empathize with
the suffering of others
- Weapon of choice : Staff
- Special Witch Skills : Time/Space magic, Psychokinesis


Special Unit Fox Hunt

Ariel Emmet - Special Researcher
- Mid twenties
- "The cool, sarcastic British lady"
- Smart and direct, but also caring to a degree
- Advices Fox on things having to do with Unnatural phenomenon




Special Unit Fox Hunt cont.

Alexander Roshark - Commander of Operations
- Late forties
- "The empathetic father-like man with a big heart, but with a heavy past"
- Is the leader of the operation, half-brother to Ann Mullins,
and the former leader of S.I.U Reaper

Ann Mullins - Operations Coordinator
- Mid thirties
- Much like Roshark, just replace "father" with "mother"
- Is the mission coordinator and knows much about the lay of the land,
and the mission objectives
- keeps track of what's going on for everybody else, and always has good advice

Mina Turner - Military Engineer
- Mid/late teens
- Quick wits, quicker mouth
- Lost her parent in the war, and decided to dedicate herself to make
military technology that would save lives
- Knows a lot about technology, contraptions of various kinds, traps etc.

Lilly Roshark - Agent of The Secondary Armed Forces
- Mid twenties
- well balanced, tough, and generally confident
- one out of the two people to team up with Fox on the island
- One of the only soldiers who didn't defect, with a
strong moral compass
- Weapon of Choice : Half-Spear
- Special Skills : Support and medical skills

Adam Hechkins - Quartermaster/weapons and equipment specialist
- Mid Thirties
- Laid back, happy-go-lucky kind of guy
- Provides information and know-how on weapon, armor, and fighting tactics

Milton Crass - Researcher, scholar and scientist
- Mid twenties
- Nerdy, but always willing to pick up on a challenge
- An expert on unnatural phenomenon, history, languages, and the Elders
- Was captured by the S.I.U Reaper as he was investigating the ruins
for the Confederacy, and is being held hostage on the island,
forced to help Reaper with their plans
- Is rescued by Fox, and then helps Fox along with his mission


The Duke's family



John Barabast - Duke of Cascaria
- Early fifties
- The ruler of duchy of Cascaria
- Just, friendly and smart
- Loves to drink and fool around dressed as a commoner
- Is actually a "Hybrid" himself

Elizabeth Barabast - Duchess of Cascaria
- Mid forties
- Looks cool and mean at the surface, but is a loving wife and mother with a keen intellect
- Likes to maintain moral high-ground, but deep down is also kind of a rogue
- Has a deep dislike for her husbands roots and his bad habits

Maya Barabast - Princess of The Confederacy Nation of Edelwin
- Early teens
- Strong-willed, inquisitive, and bright
- Does not like being treated like a child, but can at times be very child-like
- Escapes captivity on her own, early on, and keeps in touch with Fox,
giving him info on what is going on around the island, and inside knowledge
on the lay of the land etc.
- Is a quarter(half-hybrid) and therefore has some magic in her, though
nobody(her included) knows what she is capable of.


End


So that was it generally - at least as much as I can let go off for now.
Hope you guys don't strangle on the wall of text, and I'm really sorry if you do.

Thank you for reading!

Alright, this is about my second RPGMaker game, "Evan's Quest 2"...

It might be kinda cliche but I'm hoping it is good enough to overcome that anyway.

The main characters are Evan, his little sister Aina, and their friend R.G.

Upon completing the previous game they lost consciousness, when they came to R.G. was missing the samurai mask he always wore, he had a beard, and his one eye was gone, the socket was healed up but covered by a bandage. They were also in another world completely.

They set out to find out where they are and what happened during the time period that none of them could remember. In the process they have to save this new world from another demon king.

They need help so they locate a Nature Paladin named Lauren and talk her into joining them.

Sorry, It has just been long enough since the trial ran out and locked me out of the game that I'm having trouble remembering specifics.

Btw, is this thread restricted to RPGMaker project plots and characters, or any game project plots and characters? If any I could give a LOT more detail regarding my other project to get feedback on...

Tite: R.A.D.S. (Robot Apocalypse Denial Squad)

Genre: RPG

Notable Influences: EarthBound, Super Mario RPG

Engine: RPG Maker VX Ace

Goal: To create a simple and fun turn based RPG with a challenging story.

Create solid gameplay mechanics that make the game interesting, streamlined and rewarding.

To take the best parts from more traditional SNES era JRPGs and merging them with some of the most effective story telling and gameplay elements found in modern games.

Basic Story:

On a very Earth-like and modern planet. A robot force, with access to incredible nanotech and bioengineering tech exists. It has gained self-awareness, and in a very long search to discover a meaning to life, has determined there is none. The robots overlords decide it is therefore, a useless endeavor and all life must be eradicated. 
Many humans do not know of the robot’s existence.
Our hero accompanied by several friends discovers the plot to eradicate life, and moves to stop it from coming to fruition. Along the way being joined by and encountering many forms of life, including, but not limited to, robotic life, cloned life,  those who have been brought back from the dead, but are still very human, and time travelers.

Heroes:



Kogg – Age 17 Born into a kind family, amazingly gifted and in tune with advanced technology. He loves history. He was fascinated and drawn to GUMI. He becomes very in tune with GUMI [(Generally Uninvited Metallic Individual) – Robot sidekick / Weapon to Kogg shapeshifts often with firmware upgrades.] and builds a strong friendship. He is not very street smart, but he gets by with the help of Dona. Hobbies: Plays guitar, Works on electronics. Bad Traits: Self-Conscious about romantic relationships, can be indecisive. Fighting Style – Wooden Staff - Wooden Bo Staff from the Rich Cliffs Dojo. [Real Life References – Bōjutsu Art / Naginata Techniques] [Real Life Reference – Kusarigama Techniques] Special attacks use GUMI’s various weapon upgrades.



Dona – Age 17 Very independent, self-aware and sassy often upstages Kogg and jokes about it, but it is all in good fun. Former leader of the BEEs (Being Evil’s Enemy), she is street smart from living in the outskirts of Rich Cliffs. Hobbies: Sings, Loves Swimming Bad Traits: Takes unnecessary risks, short temper. Fighting Style - Stun Gun - Dona’s favorite stun gun she always carries with her. Basic attacks performed with various guns. Special attacks are furious assaults utilizing similar militarized weaponry



Ms. Chapman- Age – 28 Undead Professor at New Crow University. A lover of science. Very used to having a soap box, she doesn’t do particularly well when not being the commanding presence. The circumstances of her death made her afraid of continue to be a lone wolf, and she seeks attention and to make her presence known. She believes if she would have had a friend with her she would not have died. Hobbies: Enjoys tinkering and building DIY projects. Talented at drawing Bad Traits: Tactless, Domineering Fighting Style – Bone Saw Chain – An admittedly gruesome homemade weapon. [Real Life Reference – Kusarigama Techniques] [Fantasy Reference – Blades of Athena] Basic attacks preformed with Chain Blades. Special attacks unleash, fire, ice, lightning and other elementals with the use of nanomachine induced beast-mastery. Hail of flaming birds. High impact water Ram. Plasmasaurus Rex, etc.


 

Scoot – Age 11 A young boy with a limited ability to manipulate time. He likes to play pranks He tends to be mysterious. He has no known parents. Sometimes he can be a little reckless. Hobbies: Cooking, Card Tricks Bad Traits: Rude, Fibber Arm Scythe - A robot arm Scoot totally didn’t steal from anywhere. Fighting Style – Scoot utilizes a scythe when fighting. Special attacks manipulate time to attack multiple enemies, or unleash hard hitting attacks on single enemies.

The Villain

Daniel Namus – Age 58
Aging family man who loses his family and his own life in an accident near New Crow University (The major study here is revival of life). When our heroes and some University staff gathers the family for revival, only Daniel is able to be brought back to life. Devastated, and unable to accept that he survived when his family didn't, he is admitted into New Crow Asylum. He is put into a Sanctuary Pod. This device monitors the patient’s brain activity to construct a virtual reality that is the most comforting to them. The passage of time inside can seem much longer than it is. He spends “years” inside falling into a spiral of misanthropy and nihilism. He eventually escapes, and assembles an army of similar minded undead humans. His objective is to ensure the Robot Overloads succeed in eradicating life.

This is the basics of things. Any feedback would be appreciated, and questions are welcome. 

Note: This is an edited version of a thread I've started in my VX Ace forum account. Thought I'd share my world-building project here as well :3

 

I've started tinkering on RPGMaker again ever since I worked on this little pet project of mine. I was supposed to make a series of short stories set in an urban fantasy setting, and I had jotted down almost all of the stuff that I wanted to include in it. Lore, characters, affiliations, overall themes, and whatever plotlines that seemed crazy enough to work. And, somewhere along the way, I realized that I wasn't making a story pitch anymore, instead I think I've made enough for a freaking board game. 

 

Enough to base an entire world on. 

 

So, I decided to try making a game based on what I've established for my works. Nothing solid yet though. Just making a few choice locations, characters, and scenarios so far then see if I can use them for an actual game later. If anything, I want to make this game-project as open-ended as a wide open sandbox RPG, stressing on exploration and community-building in a world where making and keeping connections is the only way to advance and survive. 

 

I would also use it as an exercise in playing with, deconstructing, reconstructing, discussing, and lampshade-hanging several Eastern RPG tropes and mechanics that I've grown up with.

 

I can't promise anything concrete yet, but so far the game would involve a silent protagonist, a newcomer to the big city, integrating himself in the living, thriving metropolis as well as the magic community hidden in it. Also, there is no plot. I repeat, no dayum plot. No world-ending event, no evil overlord, no demonic invasion. Nothing that would ever need the help of a "chosen one". There's just you, the city, and all the ways you could ruin it, rule over it, or leave it as is. 

 

In other words, you can cause all those things mentioned earlier in one form or another if you want. 

 

• I would also like to explore and use these certain mechanics in the game:
  
• A "mana pool"-system. Could work as a second form of currency or a custom form of EXP. The amount of "mana" would deplete until it fills your HP and MP bar to full. Can be replenished by the usual battles but only at small doses, while doing side jobs and missions with the magic community would obviously net you a bigger amount. 
  
• An equipment- and statbuff-based progression system where the player relies more on customizable buffs and weaponry instead of character classes and leveling up. The player uses the mana from said mana pool for this.
  
• A "reputation/notoriety" meter that would gauge how much the player is well-known/ loved/ feared/ respected in the magic community depending on your choice of behaviour and friends. You could gain or lose certain items and characters depending on how lawful/chaotic/whatever you are. 
  
• A magic "Favor" system connected to the previous one, in which you gain the favor of certain lower-myth creatures, fellow magic-users, and even God-like beings if you ever get the latter's unwanted attention to learn new forms of magic. 
  
• A "journal" option in the menu where we can keep track of events, past jobs, and connections. 
  

 

I'm using this exercise as a way to work out a certain world view I've developed these past few months during my depression. I'm also hoping that this would also help me get me back on my feet again and help me deal with whatever life throws at me again. 

 

That's what I have in mind for my game as of this time. I'd love to hear some comments and critiques, if any :)

I'm looking for feedback at the first flesh-out of the plots in my world.

PLOT:

The story fast-forwards to E. (known as A. in the human world) as an adult again. Although she retains her memories, she never reveals who or what she is. She believes that there is no return to her Kingdom and has accepted her fate to be human in her lost hope. She is married to a man, R., in the human world. Together they have four children. Elixy (the eldest only daughter, only one of the four who contains the potential for magic and main protagonist), B., T., and S. R. owes a huge debt to the King (in the non-magic human land) from when he was young and unmarried and gambling (the King takes a tax). He never reveals his debt to his family, and one morning while Elixy is at the trading post trading their crops, her family disappears. Her neighbors tell her the King's men have enslaved her family, who did not reveal her whereabouts.
She gathers the resources she needs to begin traveling to the Palace, to try and free her family. Somewhere along her adventuring she will run into someone from her own realm who will recognize her Elven heritage.

He will tell her about the Elven Kingdom and how to get there. She dismisses it as fairytale and continues her quest. Even when she meets the King's price for the release of her family, he laughs in her face and tells her that that will cover her father's debt but will not cover their value and therefore he will not release them. In desperation, she decides to test this stranger's knowledge of a so-called Elven world as her last hope. She travels far and comes to find that he is telling the truth. She is sent through a portal to her mother's home realm to find it in shambles. Run by humans, the Elven people oppressed.
She travels a bit trying to find out information about who may be able to help her free her family, or give her the means to. She stumbles on the underground Elven resistance and joins them as they prepare to launch an attack - the first since the defeat of King O. She fights valiantly on the attack of the Palace, and comes across the painting of her mother and King O. She recognizes her and asks her new friends about it. They explain what happened and the prophecy of the new Queen. They lose the battle and Elixy attempts to try and convince them she is E.'s daughter, and should rightfully be princess. The Elven people refuse because she is part-human and fear that she may be corrupted to side with the humans. Elixy is frustrated, she decides to lead by example and stay in the fight, and becomes the figurehead fighter of the resistance. Although they refuse her as princess; they respect her for her fighting. After the battle, they also find out that the humans had found their hide out and they could no longer stay there. They move onto another village very far away. Here, Elixy meets N. They become friends and Elixy convinces N. to join them. Elixy teaches N. to fight a little and it begins to come out that N. has magic. So E. discreetly asks the resistance about who would still have knowledge of magic and begins the journey to take N. to her.

There, N. learns to unlock her powers and Elixy and N. return for a second battle. If successful, this would destroy the last of the human reign. It is during this battle that it is revealed who the prophesied queen is.

They succeed.

This is where I feel the game should split up for a sequel. Please tell me whether or not you think it is best to stay as one part, or to be the start of a sequel.
With the Kingdom restored to the Elves, and the Queen in her rightful place, magic begins to return. The Magician (now freed) helps Elixy back to the human realm to free her family. They find that E. died during childbirth to her fifth child - a girl named J; as she had been pregnant at the time of her enslavement. Her father was executed for refusing to work after the death of his wife, and two of her brothers (B. and T.) died from illness shortly before her return. She manages to get J. and her brother S. released and brings them back with her to the Elven world. In their wake, the Kingdom has once again returned to Chaos. Magic is out of control - there is some sort of shadow over the Kingdom and its magic. The Queen is not acting herself. She is not helping the Kingdom rebuild itself and is letting the population fall into total disaster. Elixy must not try once again to restore the Kingdom to some order, and figure out a way to either help the Queen, or defeat her while protecting J., who is growing very quickly in the Elven realm. I have not yet decided how this part would end. I may make it player action/choice-based.



I'm willing to hear any and all feedback, suggestions, ideas, etc. Even if it is not about the plot and about a character, magic idea, side-plot idea, etc. I have many side-plots and characters planned, lots to do in the world if this plot is a good enough main plot.

Please and thank you!!

I was going to wait on this, but after being inspired by these story premised, I'll give it a go. Whelp, he's the premise for my game, GENE.

Setting

The story takes place in the fictional city of Berkenshire, an affluent metropolitan city located in the UK. While the city is nowhere near London's calibur in terms of population, Berkenshire is very populous, with an average of nearly 7,800,000 residents. It's history goes as far back as ancient times, when the Irish Druids traveled from the Isle of Man and settled at Berkenshire (then known as Anam Talamh, the 'Soul Land') to preserve their beliefs free from christianization. As such, many Celtic influences remain as city landmarks and many Celtic holidays are celebrated even to this day. The most celebrated of which is the Spirit's Passing, an ancient tradition that celebrated those who passed on from the world of the living. After many years, people from different parts of Europe came to settle there, eventually transforming the once small settlement into one of the largest cities in the UK.

Premise

The Story follows Penelope "Penny" Carlisle, a columnist for "SHADES Magazine", a controversial weekly magazine whose articles contain rumors centering on the occult. After getting in trouble with the police for trespassing on private property, Penny has received very little work from her boss. Desperate for work, she calls her boss, who gives her a low-paying assignment: interview Miles Moriarty, owner of the ALDON Center of Genetic Research and investigate the rumors concerning the recent employee disappearances. Penny takes the job and leaves, but not before truancy officers bring her younger half-brother Zachary home. Penny, in an attempt to keep her half-brother out of trouble, brings him along as a "helper". Penny interviews Moriarty, but remains unsatisfied with his evasive answers. Wanting to known more than Moriarty was letting on, she and her reluctant half-brother break into the ALDON CGR and head to the basement to search for clues.

But what they find is unlike anything the imagined: a giant laboratory housing gruesome experiments, strange machinery, and plans for a mysterious project known called "Project: GENE". Just as Penny as Zachary decide to escape, they are ambushed by the laboratory scientist, Dr. West and his assistant, Dr. Miriam Simmas, who releases a terrible monster to attack the two, severely injuring them both and leaving them for dead. In a last ditch effort to save their lives, Dr. Simmas implants the two with an experimental "D-GENE", a compilation of DNA samples collected from real life Demons.

Penny and Zachary survive, but not without a cost: due to the D-GENEs within their bodies, they have become Demi-Humans, altered human beings with the strength of Demons. While the two have become more powerful than they can ever imagine, the two discover that food and no longer nourishes them, rather, it makes them severely weaker. Dr. Simmas, their savior, tells them that they can only survive by taking a vial of "D-CON" which contains all the sustenance Demons need to survive. The catch: the two must assist Dr. Simmas in thwarting Miles Moriarty's plans to reproduce the D-GENE and marketing it to warring nations by cutting off his supplies at the source, the Land of the Dead, a world forged from the sins of those who died. Penny and Zachary are forced to venture into the Land of the Dead, fight fearsome creatures, and thwart Moritarty's sinister goals.

Characters

>Penelope Carlisle

Age-26. Zachary's older half-sister and columnist for SHADES Magazine. She lives with her younger half-brother Zachary, who ran away from home a year ago, her live in girlfriend Melissa Darling, a former geneticist, and Pyuun, Melissa genetically born egg-monster. She is known for falling victim to her own curiosity and naivete, but makes up for it with her gentle demeanor, surprising leadership ability, and strong sense of moral justice. Her GENE, Demeter, was made from the collected cells of Demons who can survive cold temperatures, which allows her to cast Ice magic.

>Zachary Carlisle

Age-18 Penny's snappish younger half-brother who was taken in by his sister and her girlfriend Melissa after running away from home one year ago. He is seen by others as a ne'er-do-well delinquent whose bad attitude and distaste for elders in authority made him somewhat infamous in Berkenshire. He goes to Fortsmore Academy along with Shanna. His GENE, Boreas, was made from the collected cells of agile demons, which give him the ability to command wind magic.

>Shanna Foley

Age-18 A student in Fortsmore Academy known for her distant personality and bleak outlook on life. She moved to Berkenshire from Ireland following the death of her twin sister. Her GENE, Isis was created from the discarded cells of Lightning based creatures as well as those with the ability to regenerate, allowing her to cast Lightning magic and Healing magic on command.

>Eobard Riese

Age-29 A self-retired boxer from Australia who moved to Berkenshire with his fiance Maebe. After killing his rival and best friend during a title match in Sydney, Eobard quit his boxing career and now participates in illegal fights. Vulcan, Eobard's GENE, was created from physically powerful fire-based Demons, resulting in his ability to cast Fire elemental spells.

>Zinaida Romanova Abramov

Age-Refuses to tell. A fortuneteller from Russia whose devotion to the concepts of "predestination" equal only to her hatred of "random chance". She pursues ALDON CGR's top executive Abram Curwen, the man who supposedly "ruined her life". Zinaida's GENE, Cybele, was created from Demons who live beneath the ground. As such, she has a natural affinity to Earth magics.

>Darcie Huddersfield

Age-23 A famous singer who, after suffering a nervous breakdown, came to Berkenshire to take a break from show business. However, after one of her closest friends gets kidnapped by ALDON CGR executives, Darcie joins Penny and the rest of the party to save him. She also harbors a secret that, if anyone found out, could damage her career. Her GENE, Hera, was created from the cells of Angels rather than Demons., which allows her to cast Light elemental spells.

>THOMAS

Age-??? An eccentric young man and the shop keeper's adopted son. Despite apparently living in Berkenshire all his life, THOMAS has no memories prior to three years ago. His GENE is Thanatos, a GENE that allows him to conjure powerful on-elemental spells. Unlike his allies however, THOMAS was born with his GENE.

>Allison Worthy

Age-16 A cheery American Cosplayer and Blogger with horrible luck. While making her way to an anime convention in London,she took the wrong plane and is now stuck in Berskenshire. Worse yet, she left her luggage and personal effects on the plane . Her luck fails her yet again after she is captured by ALDON and injected with a deadly poison. She was cured when she was given her GENE, Nyx, which allows Allison to control Dark elemental magic.

A lot of things were changed. Thanks for the feedback!

Hey guys, I'm here to provide some feedback. Take it with a grain of salt. It's just my opinion. But I think it can help.

@Clareain_Christopher

I see that you've tried to use TV Tropes to create your character. I guess this'll round out the little attributes that the god has. But I'm having trouble understanding the logistics behind the god. I just think it's lacking some background.

Why is Deva "more or less" a god? You use the words "more or less" often, but I'm not sure what you mean by it. Are there minor gods that Deva sometimes cannot defeat? Is she not in control of the entire godship already? Or has she been cast down by her god family? What makes Deva forget her dreams? Is Mal Purgatori contained within her dreams, and how does she control the creation within Mal Purgatori?

You've mentioned that only Deva can destroy the "evils". But why did Deva forget everything? I may be missing some spoiler information, but she's the god of the universe, so why does she have such limited powers? Did she used to have unlimited power and oversight? Or was she always a physical god?

Did she create the entire earth from scratch? Where do the gods live? Who created the earth if not her? Has her godship been passed down? She seems like a pretty clueless god.

So yeah, the gameplay is going to be Wine and Roses combined with a visual novel. How? Wine and Roses is almost pure gameplay. You're going to intercut the battles with visual novel stretches? I figure it'll work well, actually.

Your names have a lot of meaning like "Mal Purgatori" but I figure they can be a mouthful for some people. Also it dilutes the reality of the character if you know what I'm saying. People won't know what you're talking about in the end, if the name for the universe is as unforgettable a name as "Mal Purgatori".

You say that Deva is a physical god, "more or less". What parts are more or less? Does she have super-human abilities but not her godly abilities? Why did she lose them in the first place?

Other than that it sounds like an interesting god story that's similar to the Greek legends or whatever. Myths. Keep it up.

A lot of things were changed. Thanks for the feedback!

@Clareain_Christopher That all sounds very cool. Very cool indeed. I'll be willing and able to give any further feedback about other characters, if in fact you request it.

@Plainview

·         What kind of a tradition is Spirit’s Passing? How often is it celebrated? What does it represent? I’m guessing this is important to the plot point of gene modification.

·         SHADES write about the occult. What about the occult that is interesting that they’d write about? Do they write from a secular perspective or from a perspective of those who believe in the occult? This is important because it indicates whether Penny actually believes in the occult to start with or is criticizing it, kind of like Mythbusters.

·         What column does she write? And how does that relate to the ALDON factory?

·         Penny trespassed on private property. What private property? What was she trying to achieve? Why does the boss keep giving her low-paying assignments? Why doesn’t he outright fire her if she broke the law? Does the boss like her as a person or something? Or is she on thin ice? Perhaps this is the last chance for her to redeem herself. That would up the stakes in this situation. Provide a reason to root for her. Everyone likes rooting for the underdog.

·         What is the nature of the employee disappearances? If employees started disappearing out of nowhere, wouldn’t people call the police and block off the area and investigate? I think it’s implausible that nothing would happen unless they have been missing for a long time. Did they disappear one at a time or all at once? How long has it been since they went missing? If they disappeared one at a time, wouldn’t they set up protection for the rest of the employees? When did they go missing, after work or during hours?

·         From here on I’ll assume that Penny is investigating a year-old case about the disappearance of a few employees on a camping trip or something and they didn’t think about investigating the basement of the factory since the disappearance happened outside the facility.

·         So Zachary has been wagging school. How come? What is their current living situation? Is it just Penny and Zachary at the moment? Is Penny in her 20s stuck looking after her teenage brother? So then how did that end up to be? Her parents both died in a car accident? They split up and Penny decided to take care of Zach by herself (hardly believable that a young girl would do that). It’s important that Penny and Zach’s living situation is established.

·         Penny brings Zach along as a “helper”, right? Wouldn’t Zach, as a rebellious teenager, be reluctant to be dragged along with Penny as she does her work jobs? What’s the motivation behind Zach accompanying Penny along the ride, since Penny can’t *force* Zach to come to work with her?

·         From here on I’ll assume that Zach is dissatisfied with school but wants some real life work experience to dig into, and is extremely interested in getting the truth out of people. So he is initially disinterested, but when he hears that this guy is a shady CEO who is covering answers, he feels like he has the male bravura to help out with the questioning and uncover the actual truth. Let’s just assume he has a big sense of justice.

·         So they both interview Moriarty, but Penny is unsatisfied with his evasive answers why? What kind of answers does he give? Does he use official statements like “I’m afraid I am of no obligation to give information like this out to reporters like you. Now I would appreciate it if we ended this discussion”.

·         Whose idea is it to break into the ALDON CGR? I’d reckon it’d be Penny’s, wouldn’t it, since she’s had experience in breaking and entering before. What does she hope to find when she enters the facility? And why would she go to the basement? Clearly she must have prior knowledge of some information hidden in the basement of the facility prior to even planning a break and entry. So I’d advise you find a way that Penny finds out where the database of classified information is when she visits the facility for an interview, such as a facility map or something. So that the break and enter is more than just a, “oh let’s see what we can find when we break into a random industrial plant”.

·         How has Miles Moriarty managed to keep such a large experimental facility under wraps? Is there only like 5 people working there and he manages to keep their mouths shut? Is the lower level out of bounds to people without an access card, and only a select few have that card? If so, how does Penny and Zach get that card?

·         I’m guessing Miles was able to order large amounts of factory machinery and chemical materials necessary for his experiments by ordering them under the guise for his genetic research. How do the materials get in/out of that facility? Do Miles and his cohorts deliver them himself? Does he get the money to pay all of this out of the public pocket or is this a self-made business? I’m guessing it’s public, since genetic research business is generally not an independent venture. In which case this would have to be a major glaze-over by the government, involving the Secret Service and the rest. Unless Miles was able to keep this a secret from them, too.

·         How did they get “ambushed” by West and Simmas? Did the two know that Penny and Zach had broken and entered? Were they alerted by a silent trip alarm? That seems the best guess. So then Penny and Zach were caught red handed snooping around a first-class facility.

·         What about the guards? Wouldn’t there be guards to guard the facility to start off with? I’m guessing there will be some stealth gameplay here that will work well to your advantage.

·         Why does West and Simmas believe that Penny and Zach must die? Do they fear that the two children will report them for their activities? Will the government even believe two little kids, assuming that the government isn’t in on it themselves?

·         I’ll assume that the government has knowledge of the experiments, but that Penny & Zach will get the police force to search the facility’s basement and find all this stuff before the two are able to clear it out.

·         So the two scientists have figured it is not possible to let these two survive. The two scientists release a monster how? They’ve been trapping a monster in a glass cage and just release it open to rip apart the two intruders? And then they leave? Doesn’t that seem weird? Unless there is a glass partition separating the two parties, and the scientists lock them in the monster chamber to be finished off.

·         But wait. Why did the monster stop eating them? And why all of a sudden does Simmas want to save their lives? Didn’t she just release a monster to eat them? That makes no sense.

·         I’d need to figure out why does Simmas save their lives in the first place if she’s helping make the genetic modifications to begin with.

·         Also how did the portal to the Land of the Dead open? And why can’t they just close the portal from this side?

·         How will fighting creatures in the Land of the Dead cut off the supply of the D-GENE? How is the D-GENE harvested? From the monsters? If that’s the case, wouldn’t you just close the portal? Or is it being manufactured in some mountainous factory in the Land of the Dead, and Penny and Zach’s goal is to destroy that mountain?

It’s getting late here, but at least I’ve given feedback to the “Story” portion. I’ll go through the “characters” portion tomorrow. Also, my general feedback on this story is that it is great, and has a lot of potential. Hope this helps.

I just typed up my project's plot, but I still haven't fully developed it so far but here's what I've got,

The Runemaster’s Occult WIP
Magic was an art, an art used for convenient and practical ways. Eventually, mages used magic to protect themselves against others. But the non-mages (combaters) started a bitter battle against the mages, and suddenly, when the Overlord gets brutally murdered by a mage, this battle turned into a full-fledged World War between physical and magic-propelled combat.

Eventually, one day, the mages discovered a deadly and destructive magic, it is called Runes. These Runes were so powerful, they destroyed many countries completely, and many have sunk into the ocean. The mages knew that this magic should not be tempered with, so they assigned Runemasters, people who have been specially trained to handle the Runes and to keep them from being misused, after one generation has passed, the old Runemasters teach their ways to the new ones, and the cycle continues.

Now this war is still ongoing in this plot, after many hundreds of years of it. In this game, you play as Kanata, a Runemaster who’s been handling Runes since she was born. Her identity is usually protected by guardian Mages so people don’t take advantage of her. But that was only until Kanata started practicing necromancy, all because of a vision from the dead Overlord. Necromancy is taboo that nobody wants to handle so she’s been cast out and lost her status as an accepted mage, the combaters don’t want her either, since she is a magic user, so Kanata is left alone.

With time, the northwest country of Tuskar repelled the mages and was the first country to end combat, the neighboring countries still at war. This country have made all forms of magic illegal, and any act of magic, or if they’re a mage, is punishable by death. Kanata escaped from her homeland and sought refuge in Tuskar. But her presence of being a mage gets her arrested and sent to the chopping block many times, only to escape using magic trickery. With many friends and foes, Kanata ventures off to find the final components to fulfill her vision, which is kept secrecy until the end of the game.

@Purple-Inukshuk


Fairly interesting. I would like to know more about Kanata's character. How is life affecting her? Is she an anti-hero?

@Clareain

Ah, thank you! These two questions will actually help me indeed!

How is life affecting her?

Kanata's been taking her consequences as a mage fairly well, but all of the turning events have made her very uneasy at times. Kanata's involvement with the necromancers has eventually got her addicted into using the darker arts of magic, which has given her the title of 'anti-hero' to answer the other question.

She is indeed an anti-hero, throughout the game you'll learn she can manipulate others at ease before she traitors them, others, you will have to kill innocents and comrades to fulfill Kanata's vision bit by bit.

Right now I only have 3/6 main party characters thought out, and names are not final. I'm also still deciding on a timeline (possibly seperated into different ages), but here is what I have so far:

Set during medieval fantasy times, the world is held together by 3 massive pillars known as Sol - The World Pilllar, Lunar - The World Pilllar, and Life -The World Pillar. These pillars give life and meaning to the world, keeping it alive and flourishing. Throughout history, certain individuals are born with a rare breed of blood called crystalline blood, which contains energized crystalline fragments found within the hearts of the world pillars. Anyone born with this blood are also born mages, and can communicate with the pillars and help maintain them which is a necessity since they must be guarded. Those born with this blood are known as The Crystalline Keepers.

You are Destill a human born with the Crystalline blood. Destill's father and another individual whom are also Crystalline Keepers (It's passed down family generations) are part of an accidental energy overload emerging from the Sol Pillar in the city of Distilea. This causes a gigantic explosion killing thousands, including the two Keepers watching over Sol and injuring many more. 20 years later, Distilea is known as The Dammed City, full of radiation and fallen into chaos, with the city shut down from the outside world. Nothing gets in or out except for those high in power.

Any survivors or those born after the explosion are permanently marked with deep scars caused by radiation. The outside world does not take kindly for The Marked, for these are known as The Souless, drained of all hope, ambition, and determination due to the lack of Sol's presence. Some people like Destill are able to overcome this, but only those that had something to hold on to.

The game starts with Destill, Lester, and Nolan, all part of the Dammed City resistance group fending off the corrupt Iron Guard Force 20 years after the Sol disaster. However, Nolan is offered a chance at a better life, to become free of the city by a person in high power. He agrees to a set of conditions which he fulfills by betraying Destill and Lester, alerting a huge mob of elite Guards to their position, in exchange for his freedom and further co-operation later on. Destill and Lester manage to escape from the Guards barely. Two years later, Destill who has learned how to hide in the shadows to keep hidden from Iron Guards, still cannot let go of the betrayal and swears to one day escape as he believes Nolan must answer for his betrayal. Eventually Destill escapes and heads to The City of Balgosh, the seat of the Iron Empire to find Nolan. The two meeting eventually leads to them taking on the Commander of the Iron Empire (who was the one that offered Nolan a better life) known as Balronius.

Balronius saw the perfect opportunity when Sol exploded 22 years ago. With Sol gone, the people of Distilea deterriated into shallow shells allowing for total control over their broken minds. They had no where to turn to, so Balronius gave them false hope and promises of a better life in exchange for their service in fueing the Iron Empire by mining endlessly for coal and minerals, treated like slaves by the Iron Guard who were sent to the city to keep it in check. However for many years common folk believed that it was The Iron Empire that caused Sol's explosion, so to cover this up a solution was devised. Among the two Crystalline Keepers, one was Destill's Father, the other was known as Falnalk.

Balronius had made measures against the restoration and rebuilding of Sol by secretly keeping it's now corrupted heart, making it impossible to rebuild.

Eventually, Destill and Nolan meet up with Lester to chase down Falnalk and stop him from destroying the remaining World Pillars, while meeting other party members along the way, and also attempt to restore the world to how it once was, where those marked with a Sol scar can live equally with everyone else. Falnalk's ultimate goal is to absorb enough negative energy (Which only those with Crystalline Blood can do) from the destroyed World Pillars to remake the world and change past events as he see's fit, in an attempt to desperately fix the Sol disaster, no matter the cost or sacrifices. With enough energy, Falnalk is able to completely control Destill due to the same blood pool shared between them. Only huge bursts of willpower can overcome this.

Balronius and The Iron Empire also chase after Falnalk to...
...And prevent total destruction, whilst also attempting to rid of the party members.

Hello everyone! I have s general story idea that I am using for my current game that is not complete but I can and will provide with what I have so far. I do have long-term plans for the story but just a giant gap to get there. However, I will not be mentioning the plot that is to be developed to. I am doing this so I can give you all the freedom to throw out ideas and feedback that could help spark interest and help me bridge things together. I feel the openness of not knowing what the end result will be allows for a more free thinking approach and thus will produce much more inticing ideas for results.

So without further adu, here is the story I have so far.

Tales of the Dragon Lords

The story begins with the main character named Bayde. He is freelance adventurer majority of the time only tagging along when asked and his only price is that the group stays in good company throughout the adventure and the spoils at the end will be enough to get him by until his next adventure. Bayde lives in a small house just off a route that leads to a place called Mt. Zepp. Within the small area he lives in there also is an inn which is where he finds other adventurers that require his help. One day Bayde takes his normal trip to the inn to wait and see if any adventurer will enlist him. Upon arriving in the inn's lounge, his good friend Kaizer, the inn owner, tells Bayde that he is wanted my Old Man McCarr. Now Old Man McCarr lives towards the top of Mt. Zepp so Bayde has only met McCarr around 2 or 3 times throughout his travels. Unsure of why McCarr is summoning him, he decides to go see what he needs and leaves immediately. After a short stop back at his house for his travel supplies, Bayde sets off for the top of Mt. Zepp to see McCarr. Now, Mt. Zepp is tall enough to be considered a mountain, but is not a very tall mountain and is easily traversed within a day. While on his way up to the top of the mountain, Bayde comes across a younger female magic user who goes by the name of Freya. Freya asks Bayde if he she can accompany him on the way to the top because she simply cannot pass through by herself due to the possibility of hidden bandits and thieves lurking the trails. After Bayde and Freya reach the top of Mt. Zepp they are greated at a gate by none other than Old Man McCarr. McCarr sees the two and notices that Bayde has met his granddaughter, Freya, who just was on her to her grandfather. McCarr is grateful to Bayde for keeping her safe and rewards him and quickly begins to tell him about why he was summoned.

The native dragon's of Ranum have become very unsettled as of late. They are running rampant across the lands in efforts to gain territory for their families. In Ranum there are 5 different types, or families, of dragons that follow along with the known elements of Ranum. These are fire, earth, dark, electric, and water/ice. The water/ice dragons, better known as the Ice Dragons, are now an extinct family and have been for over 500 years. The Ice Dragons were very well admired and revered as they had a special ability to change from ice properties to water properties based on the surrounding they are in (such as weather and temperature mostly). Mt. Zepp was the main land for the Ice Dragons and was dedicated by the people of Ranum as their final resting place when the family became extinct and thus made a sanctuary out of Mt. Zepp. But the shrine is not just one for revererence and remembrance of the Ice Dragons. It is also the temple of the last Ice Dragon Lord. Dragon Lord's were people who were given the ability to control the dragons of a specific family by their masters. A Dragon Lord would take a person that they would personally chose and take them as an apprentice to go and live with them in the temple to learn about the specific dragon family they would soon have the ability to control. Each family had a specific language through which they communicated and so the Dragon Lord must know this language in order to communicate and control the dragons properly. Throughout the apprenticeship, the apprentice is learning everything there is to know about the dragon family.  Once the apprentice is ready to take over as the Dragon Lord for the family, the master passes on their favored item. But these are no ordinary favored items as they are magically enchanted that, when worn or wielded, grants the direct connection to the dragons thus giving them the full ability to control them. Once an apprentice became the new Dragon Lord, they immediately assumed all responsibility for what the Dragon Lord's duty is in the first place. That duty is to obtain total peace between the other dragon families. Peace was obtained after a few thousand years of war over lands which is what cause the Ice Dragons to become extinct. Peace was obtained eventually but did not last long (as we have discovered in the begininng of this story). Around 100+ years has passed since peace was obtained amongst the remaining families which left the duties of the Dragon Lord's accomplished and no longer need. The Dragon Lord's then felt there was no longer a purpose to obtain an apprentice so they just lived out their final days with their chosen families.

This brings us to the current setting. Bayde must venture out to find the cause of the sudden unsettlement of the dragons after so many years of peace between them. Bayde must also gather the 5 Dragon Lord items and must attempt to find a way to communicate with all of the dragon families. Bayde can find these items somewhere in the temples of the family's main land area. It is believed the final restin places of the last Dragon Lords are in the Altar Rooms of the temple (essentially the throne room of a castle). In order to obtain the item, Bayde and his party must defeat the spirit of the Dragon Lord to prove his worthiness of being able to wield such a powerful item or weapon. The five items Bayde is searching for are called the "Ice Lord's Amulet, the "Fire Lord's Sword", the "Earth Lords Armour", the "Thunder Lord's Shield", and the "Dark Lord's Helmet". These items will give the user the ability to communicate with the dragons as well as the ability to use the family's favored battle ability.

The favored ability will be obtained through an item level up style system where orbs must be collected that coincide with the element of the item (ice orb, fire orb, earth orb, you get the idea) and must used at an altar of the same element or a general enchantment altar (which are very rare to find).

Well that is essentially what I have all planned out. Like I said earlier I have an idea as to what the cause of the problem is but nothing to really fill it in and want to entertain a wide variety of ideas and feedback to help bridge things together as well as expand the story and make it more exciting and immersive.

Thank you to all in advance who take the time to give me feedback!

Doing something short and simple for my first project - let me know what you think?  If it seems simple, it's meant to be.  I just don't want it to be simplistic and would appreciate any advice with that.
 
The project is called Swann Song, after one of the protagonists, Fiona Swann (also because I'm not above making Final Fantasy jokes).  It's also a birthday present for my brother, who will be turning 25 (I believe) this February.
 
The main characters are simply a group of mercenaries from all over a wide and culturally diverse world, who've met up at the trade hub of Olympos Isle smack dab in the middle of the world.  With one exception, they've been working together for quite some time (and are all Lv 5 at game start): the one exception is the newest member of the squad, who fled an arranged marriage both he and the prospective bride would have hated to make his fortune in the City at the Center of the World.

They're low on funds, and when they are personally asked by the Prince and Princess of the Islands of Ionia to recover six artifacts of religious significance and offered a dragon's hoard to do so - well, they're free to refuse, but they'd be fools not to.  Apparently they're also useful magical items in their own right, and the Ionic Isles would rather like them to deal with increased piracy and monster attacks.
 
This is mostly to practice my scripting, database stuff, and writing: I'm going to make heavy use of the default maps and I'm not sorry about that.  I am going to try to include a multilinear romance that doesn't suck between Protag 2 and a choice of one of the people who isn't Protag 1 and her lover because I love those and to spice up a largely linear plot.
 
I'm also going to give the cast different builds based on equipment, with multiple weapon and armor choices at each tier of equipment.  A Warrior with a sword and shield in heavy armor will play rather differently than one with an axe and gauntlets in light armor; a sorcerer with a staff and tome will play defensively, and one with a wand and orb aggressively.
 
Without further ado, the cast.



Left to right, top to bottom, they are: Fiona Swann, Nagini Mariyam, Sebastian Campanya, Tien'jie Han, Baldur Eisenknecht, and Jaatu Sekhmet.  Credit to SLEEP for the facesets.  (Baldur is supposed to be paler, but I couldn't freaking find that file).
 
Fiona Swann, Protagonist number 1.  A rough, earthy, canny warrior from Morgywn in the north that survived a horrifying war using her wits and sheer bloody resolve.  She wouldn't be in the mercenary business if she didn't enjoy a good fight and old war stories, but she left the army after the then-king of Morgwn dicked over her troops.  Not above dirty jokes or dirtier tricks in combat, she considers her mercs a sort of second family and is fiercely protective of them.

As a Warrior, Fiona is primarily a tank.  She will protect the party with potent TP based buffs and with a self buff that applies both Provoke and Counter - this is her bread and butter ability.  She can build either sword-and-spear for defense and healing or axe and gauntlet for damage.

Tien'jie Han, an elf and sage from the The Empire of the Xintze, he traveled westward in search of more knowledge - then found Fiona, fell in love, and decided to stay with her and her mercenary company; besides, they find the most fascinating enchanted artifacts  in their spoils... Of some note is the fact that Tien'jie was born physically female, and left his people's woods to became an Imperial sorcerer so he could transform himself into the man he is today.  So far, he can maintain his enchantment for a week before it erodes.

As a Sorcerer, Tien'jie primarily deals multi-target magical elemental damage.  He transmutes elements to attack - for example, air into fire, air into lightning, and air into ice; most of his spells also have a chance to inflict status effects.  He also learns some single target status/damage spells.  He also has a few self-buffs and utility powers based on TP.

Sebastian Campanya, protag number 2 and viewpoint character.  He's the new guy.  A minor nobleman from Iberia on the westernmost tip of the world, he acheived the rank of Free Student at his fencing academy and fled an arranged marriage both he and the prospective bride would have hated.  He hopped a boat to the southwest, then from there to Omphalos to make his fortune in the City at the Center of the World.  He's the usual innocent, naive outsider who asks dumb questions about the world because he's a sheltered noble; and he has the decency to realize that luck, not inherent worth, gave him his high station.

I don't actually know what to name Sebastian's class; it can do a bit of everything, but mostly deal damage.  It's closest to the default Spellblade.  It focuses on single-target physical and elemental attacks, with some multi-target physical abilities and support stuff.  Boosting Intellect will increase magic damage, boosting Vigor will boost physical damage, boosting Agility will increase crit chance and accuracy, boosting Resolve will make his heals more powerful.  As the 'viewpoint' character, he gets the most choices.

Jaatu Sekhmet, a lionfolk and once of of the Wadjet Eyes - elite scouts of the Golden Kingdom of Alkhebulan to the south.  Her natural curiosity drove her westward after she left the Mansa's service, in search of beautiful sights and delicious foods to experience.  Usually cheerful and playful, but with a serious edge when needed: she can pick pockets and survive on trail rations when she has to, but this doesn't stop her from buying candy and new/interesting foods when she's flush with cash.  She's a falconer with a pet/ally named Amon.

Jaatu is a rogue, which means defense through evasion, debuffs, and powerful single-damage TP-based attacks.  She attacks with powerful physically damaging status abilities; but she's rather frail, relying on evasion.  If she uses a bow this increases her accuracy and evasion and her debuffing power; dual wielding swords increases her damage output and her defense.  Knives are middle of the road.

Nagini Mariyam, a mendicant priestess from an abbey in the Ranasthani Jungles.  She put on a quest with the abbess' blessing to reduce the suffering in the world.  Compassionate to a fault, she has formal training in medicine and anatomy as well as her natural talent at healing magic.  Part of her training in anatomy was also for the purpose of defense - she's a martial artist, and more than willing to defend herself and others on the front lines of a bloody battle.  She is named for the water goddess of Ranasthan, a mermaid whose title is Mother of Snakes and Keeper of the Venom That Heals.

As a Monk, Nagini has both powerful support/healing options and tremendous amounts of damage output.  Some of her martial art abilities cost both TP and MP, but also deal both magical and physical damage in return; she is also the only character in the game with both MP and TP based healing.  She has a choice of spears, maces, staves, and claws for weapons - in order of most defensive to most aggressive.

Baldur Eisenknecht, a dwarven veteran of the Seige of the Drachenruuchen Mines.  Once a brewer and innkeeper by trade, his talents for alchemy were turned towards warfare and he War Engineer for the dwarves of the Eisenholtz.  In return for his conspicuous valor, they granted him money and a special dispensation to travel among humans and trade with the outside world.  He continues to do so, and to enjoy the finer things in life - beer and wine, fine clothes, books, and a scholarly inquiry into the nature of matter and the Philosopher's Stone.

As an Enchanter, he has the power to heal and to harm with potent magical spells; he can also craft items, including magic damage items.  Unlike Tien'jie, most of his spells are single-target, but they also include very potent buffs and debuffs.

Your thoughts?

Not Your Typical Dating Sim Game:

Alrighty, so my idea was inspired from a pretty popular dating sim game around the web called

"Dandelion:Wishes Brought to You" and the dating system of Harvest Moon/Runefactory games.

Funny enough, my game is a bit of a backlash at both dating games.

Harvest Moon and Runefactory games have so far made it so the main character always has to ride the straight and narrow.

(Yes I know in Runefactory 4 you can change the graphic so you can appear the opposite gender and pursue the same sex in a way, but it's not the same.)

This is pretty lame.

Now with "Dandelion:Wishes Brought to You", this dating sim game has a female protagonist and 5 different males to court.

However, all the endings for this game are pretty much tragic and don't leave any sense of fulfillment (save for one with the cute shota boy, bless that sweet shota prince <3).

So, I had a brain blast and decided my first game I will use to develop my skills on RPGmaker will be a dating sim game breaking the walls of typical dating sim games.

In my game, I will introduce the choice of a male or female protagonist.

And whether your pick male or female, you will have the ability to date ALL 6 of the eligible lads and lassies.

There is 3 boys, 3 girls and each will present unique personalities, backstories, challenges you will help them conquer and wishes they want granted.

The game will be fantasy-based, whereas the characters all have their unique quirks, similar to Runefactory games.

The game system will have it so giving certain items to the boys and girls will raise

their affection for you or decrease it (a system incorporated in Runefactory and Dandelions).

I also plan for the main character to be able to go about doing daily activities, with chance meetings with

the eligible boys and girls, at various locations (mall, library, park, etc).

Now, it will be much more like Runefactory where you can pretty much always get a happy ending quite easily (because I'm a sucker for happy endings, sue me).

HOWEVER, this doesn't mean it'll be as easy as Runefactory either. ;3

I liked how in Dandelions you had to really spend time with your man to get him to like you more,

but along with going out with him, you had to keep a look out for stickers.

NOW, the sticker deal is kinda dumb, but I think what I'll do is incorporate clues in the game and if you 

pick up on these clues, you will have more chat options and have better chances at raising 

the affection of your love-to-be.

I will be incorporating a story filled with suspense, comedy, and ofcourse, LOTS OF THAT GUSHY STUFF.

I've decided on the title: Weeds: Wishes Won't Come True.

It's an ironic title, because "Dandelions: Wishes Brought To You",

being such a sweet title, gave you such depressing endings.

In contrast, mine won't. ; )

Give me a shout out about what you all think please, things are still barely on a roll.

I shall hopefully post up character graphics soon 8D

P.S. The soundtrack will be of the disco/pop/techno variety, already been collecting tracks/sounds.

P.S.S HONESTLY DON'T KNOW IF IT WILL BE COMMERCIAL OR NOT YET.

~C.C

ADD ON TO ABOVE ^ 

It is modern-day setting, actually may be a bit in the far future. Haven't decided. BUT DEFINITELY MODERN.

Thank you.