Plot and Character Feedback

Kaito, a high school graduate in Japan, decides to visit his hometown after ten years. He visits a beautiful garden full of cherry trees where he used to play with a young girl around his age. This girl, Chisato, was Kaito's only friend, as was Kaito to Chisato. Kaito would often visit her after school, and Chisato would climb through a hole in the wall that connected the garden to her house. When they met, they would play hide-and-seek and bring magazines to read. They would play word games, hollering out to the sky if one of them won... They were friends that only had each other, and so their bond was precious. However, as fate would have it, a terrible accident occurred to destroy it as they were playing hide-and-seek.


A man's cigarette landed on the side of the garden after being thrown halfheartedly, catching fire to the dried leaves and sticks next to the road. The fire quickly spread until Kaito finally noticed it from his hiding place near the front. He ran out before the fire could engulf the entire entrance and tried to get help. He shook a man's arm, screamed at a woman's figure, telling them that Chisato was still inside the garden. But no one wanted to jump through fire just to help a girl they didn't know. Kaito could only hope that his friend had gotten out through the hole that she came in from, but when the firemen rushed in to clear the fire, they found Chisato crushed under a fallen cherry tree. She died in the garden, her body too frail to endure the pressure of the trunk. Soon after, Kaito moved away, and he never saw the garden again. Until ten years later...


As Kaito walks into the restored garden, he takes in the smell. He feels the smooth wind with his skin, but it doesn't feel the same. Nostalgia does not reach him from the past, and somehow, he feels no connection with the garden anymore. As he walks down the path around the center pond, he stops before a growing cherry tree. Under the branches and petals of the beautiful work of nature rests a polished stone plate. It reads "Sakata Chisato". As Kaito tries to remember how the girl looked back then - what she wore, he starts to piece together his memories of her. Strangely, it feels as though he is being helped by something, as though he is receiving memories that aren't his own.


Suddenly, he feels a light tap on his shoulder and turns around, a little disoriented. As the image of the eight year-old girl surfaces in his mind, it merges with the tiny figure now in front of him. A transparent Chisato looks up at him, smiling cheerfully.


"Hello, Kaito!" she exclaims excitedly.


"...Huh?..." Kaito backs up a litte.


"Hi!" The girl continues.


"Um... Hi...?" He replies, unsure of his place in the world.


"You are Kaito, right?"


Kaito decides that she just looks like Chisato and regains his composure, "Uh, yeah. How can I help you?"


"I want to show you something!" The girl says, grabbing Kaito's hand suddenly.


"Wait- what?!" Kaito protests, but allowing himself to be pulled.


"Over here!"


She takes Kaito to the pond and they walk onto a small boardwalk from the side.


"Hey, what are you doing?" Kaito asks.


"You'll see in a second!" The girl replies.


She stops on the edge of the boardwalk.


"Okay, now what?"


"Kaito, do you remember me?" She asks.


"Remember- what are you..."


"Do you remember me?" She asks again, this time in a flatter tone.


"...Are you... actually Chisato?" Kaito responds slowly.


"You remembered me!" She cheered, and pushed Kaito into the pond. As he hit the surface, he thought, "Chisato is a... ghost...?" before he blanked.


When he comes to, Kaito is on the side of the pond, but the landscape around him has changed slightly. The pathway that looped around them is a deeper brown, and the pink trees around them seem to have switched places. Chisato kneels beside Kaito.


"Welcome to my dream world!" she says excitedly.


"W-what?..." Kaito mumbles, still dizzy from waking up, "What- what did you just do?"


"What? I brought you to my dream world." Chisato replies, as if it were obvious.


"Dream world?"


"Yes! Sorry for asking like this, but can you do me a big favor?"


Perplexed, Kaito nods non-coherently and says, "Sure...?"


"Can you help me be reborn?"


And so Kaito embarks on an adventure to help his childhood friend be reborn in order to pay back all that he owed. Little did he know the horrors and monsters he faced, as well as the retribution of a sinner...

The Abbreviated Histories of the Races of Eloha:



Kowa:



Pre History: Few Ruins remain of these people from before recorded history, mostly because of natural disasters. Most historians look to their religious sources to show that the destruction of the buildings at that time were due to Deitic Battles among their Pantheons.


Before the great coming of the lands, they were a sparsely populated peoples, with very organic tools. It is traditionally taught in their schools that the Kowa ancients were mostly farmers, which is the main reason they hoard the most secrets of farming in the world, and such rich history for the profession.


First Age:


This was a time of great change for the Kowa. Their Shamans had taken on vows as Monks to a newly adopted religion, a religion from an ancient race that did not survive passed pre-history. It was also before medicine, and so their Orgies caused many illness and disease throughout the Kowa world.


The first succession of rulers over the Kowa were known as Cataphrin, they were self appointed through divine right, as having had achieved great and impossible deeds to obtain their power. Some had even achieved god like status. The most infamous ruler among them was Valitrex I, whom was a benevolent ruler that wanted to end the practice of mass orgies. However the elders did not agree with this, and the monks paid assassins of the Nijo to have him murdered by means of poisonous fruits. However, when they went to wake him and later announce his death to the public, his body was never found. Some speculate that he had ascended to the realms of Bodia where he learned immortality and plots his vengeance against the Kowa traitors. Yet when those whom had betrayed died peacefully, they began accusing the Nijo of having stolen the body, and thus began the many plots to overthrow the Nijo from their homelands.


It was for the most part, a time of darkness for intellectualism and free thought. Everyone lived in fear of torture for speaking against the Monks or Elders. A secret society did begin works for laying the foundation for the education systems in Kowan society. By holding seminars and classes in the catacombs of the town of Neri. Some politicians knew of the outlawed practices and members of the society, but refrained from taking legal recourse against them. And the Society of Enlightenment remains a strong influence well into modernity, as having members of Universities and Private Institutions for learning.


Second Age:


This was a time of poverty for everyone, as a strong winter threatened crop harvests. So they made agreements with the High Elves for resources they could sustain themselves, of which included a Military Pact. Most the agreements were promises that the Kowa would oust the Nijo fro Rah and transfer any and all wealth to the High Elves, in exchange for assistance through the harsh and prolonged winter.


In the fall of the fifteenth year of the Time of Bostrin, the Kowan military assembled in great numbers on the border of Dor and Rah. The campaign was a means to spread wealth to the people, and so military service for everyone of age was mandatory at the time. They promised to pay them well with the goods recieved from the High Elves in the exchange of wealth from the Nijon governments and settlements.


A great many battles took place, some with death rates as high as 95% for both sides. The problem with a gridlocked line of battle came to the attention of a Black Smith that was experimenting with a new Weapon form. Traditionally up until her assistance, the Kowa had relied on short spears and bows to engage in combat and hunting with. While they were effective hunting tools, they were poor against the more advanced armors and weapons of the Nijo. She presented her new technology to the Cataphrin, and it was adopted after testings proved it was indeed superior for their cause.


Maces became the standard armament for the military thereafter. And soon they were making headway into the lands of Rah. However, it was when they had began blockading the capital that they could not starve out the Nijo inhabitants, and so there siege tactics had failed them. The Cataphrin and the Supreme General Noshua approached the High Elves asking for assistance in their siege.


The agreed terms were that the High Elves would bring in their High Dracs in exchange for the new technologies of the Kowa. However, the Noshua did not like the terms. And so after a successful defeat of the Capital, Noshua turned the campaing for home and began to hunt down the Cataphrin, something believed to be impossible. The Wood Elves took claim over the lands of Rah and routed the High Elf occupational forces, and freed the captive Nijo and escorted them into the lands of Aex via caves and mountain passes.


Three years after the Dor-Rah war, the Cataphrin was executed publicly, and the Supreme General was made King, thus ending the time of the Cataphrin government. The Elders were dissolved and the Monks went into hiding. During the reign of Noshua, the Society of Enlightenment was made legal, and given official funding. The High Elves for a time held resentment to the Kowa, but Noshua sent emissaries offering their newly founded official education systems. The High Elves refused the offer believing the Kowa would want more from them, and so they maintained open trade, but ended the Military Pacts for a time.


It was not until Noshua's successor Xia the Great that terms returned to normal with the High Elves, through assisting the High Elves in an unsuccessful Campaign against the Wood Elves.


Third Age:


With the declarations of education in Kowan establishments, many great thinkers and inventors emerged. Philosophers established the basis of science, and Medicine was born. Many claim that Zushul of Neri founded the first clinics in the areas nearest the lands of Zin, in an attempt to offer aid to the High Elves without military assistance.


Under King Darius, a seventh generation removed from Noshua, Clinics and Military hospitals were built throughout all of Dor. They also began allowing non Kowans to take up residence within the lands, as official decree by the king.


King Darius feared so much that a harsh winter would return to their lands, so he established insulated Food Storage and greenhouses powered by natural thermals near the city of Bosh.


The Swarfo began to take refuge in secret within Neri, against the pacts with the High Elves. Fearful of discovery and retaliation, Darius had them enlisted into the armies, as a forced promissory to protect Dor from any invasion retaliation. While they proved more able than the Mace wielding soldiers of the Kowa in combat, they refused the Kowan traditional education system, and so they remain somewhat regarded as dumb. However, King Darius personally appointed a Swarfo as a military Adviser.


Modernity:


Today things are uncertain, there is talk of ending High Elf and Kowan relations, in favor for alligning with the more charitable and wealthy Khimra. Not much has changed otherwise. They have recently allowed the Zorgis into their realm on the promise of enslaving the Electric Myr for use in technological discovery.

Go to the kingdom - fighting through soldiers of the military coup - and find the King performing a ritual with a purported traitor to the kingdom in the throne room. When the ritual has been completed, the traitor is whisked away to the Land of Light. The main party attempts to get there through other means, going off of something the Commander encountered in Ethul. When they enter what they believe is the Land of Light, they fight through a menagerie of nightmares. It is revealed that they were in the dream of the ruler of the Land of Light, and as the ruler wakes the party is transported/manifested into the ruler's realm where the traitor reveals itself to be the ruler of the Land of Nightmares, who is normally forbidden and hindered from entering the Land of Light. 


The Dark ruler tries to kill the Light ruler in its sleep and fails. However, succeeding enough to injure and wake the Light ruler. After the Light ruler forces the Dark ruler into their realm, the party is told that they must go into the Dark ruler's realm and stop them because the Nightmare/Darkness is seeping into the party's world. The injuries sustained in the Light ruler's sleep were enough to dampen the power that seals the Dark ruler's world.


After finding a way to access the Dark ruler's realm through objects in the party's world, they proceed to enter the realm of Nightmares and defeat the Dark ruler. However, because balance must be maintained across these realms, the party must defeat the Light ruler too because the Nightmare will be - and is starting to be - reborn in the Light ruler.


After the Light ruler is defeated...



Spoiler



Everyone will split to finish their respective stories. However, the player may only choose 1 story to follow to its end, which ultimately leads whoever they chose on a journey to an ancient shrine (1 party member now). They fight their way through mild enemies, and after defeating 'The Avatar of Creation', 'The Avatar', or just 'The Shadow of the World Weaver', the character is transferred to a very pure place with a few "World Shrines". The game ends with something like:


Female Voice: 'Ah...the first of my champions. I can't wait for the others to arrive.'


Character: 'Who are you? What is this place?'


Female Voice: 'All questions will be answered in time, but consider all your experiences up to now a test. A test to see if you're fit for the trials ahead - fit to be...my successor.'


Character: 'What does that mean?!?!'


Female Voice: 'Shhh, my child. The others are coming...'


Game End


(Obviously this is a set up for future games that won't overly limit the creative freedom of whatever is produced because they are 'test worlds'. And anything can be on a test XD. Or the game could just end like that and leave the player like...'Dafuq just happened....')