I'm looking for some feedback on my first project that I'm working on, and would like to see if the story and plot is interesting. I also want to see if people find it more unique than cliche, and if my characters have a strong personality that I could build upon. Please note that all the plotpoints, lore and story is not completed yet.
With that I guess I should begin.
Project name:
Violent Whispers
Story:
At the beggining of all things, there existed nothing else but an endless void that was reaching through the universe. This particular void, would be the reason for the existence of life as we know it, and in It's inner core the sparkles of life emerged with great force.
The void started to evolve, and during millions of years it engulfed itself in chemical reactions and developed
the abilities to drain the energies from these reactions. Energies that developed into sound,
transformed into materia, and created atoms that granted the void a mind off It's own. With the newly gained
abilities the void floated in silence, but as time went by a distant echo reached the mind of the ancient void.
The legendary question that is the foreword of every scroll or text presented in the world of Serena, the very question of life:
'can there be darkness without light?', and so the void created the first world in the history of mankind, and It's first inhabitants ever walking It's surface. The world that came to be called: Serena.
The newly born world, and It's in habitants, struggled to adjust in the early stage of It's existance. But managed to prosper, and a civilization slowly began to evolve on the surface of Serena. As time went by the people of the world, found a way to connect with It's own maker and by worshiping It's grandness they were delivered with the ability to harvest magical resources and use it for every day life. But, the people wouldn't stop here.. It's in the human nature to always seek more power, and find ways to gain new knowledge. With the connection towards the void, and the use of magical resources the people of Serena
invented a way to connect with the void on a deeper level, and in the process they discovered that the use of magic became more efficient, and powerful. After years of explotion, they were finally granted the ability to harvest an alien magical resource that only existed inisde the core of the void itself.
But the exploitation wouldn't come without sacrifices, and the world of Serena began to crumble. At the brink of extinction, the void spared a handful of individuals inside It's own presence and left the world to die. The end of the first crisis came to an end, and the legends of Serena was born.
The Void, along with the few individuals from the ancient civilization of Serena managed to heal the world, and new life began to prosper on It's surface. A new era came to existance, and the world of Aspicio had found It's record of timeline. The era came to be called 'the era of the AC', where the AC stand for After-Crisis. Glimpses of the history of the ancient civilization and the world of Serena could be found in ancient texts that was preserved after the crisis, but the people of Aspicio embraced these texts as legends, and societies began to build up their beliefs on these legends, and worshiped the ancient civilization as gods.
The usage of magical resources was still granted to the people, by worshiping the void and the ancient
civilization. But the forces of magic, could only be invoked by people that had a special genetic aura.
The use of magic, was then categorized by different layers of auras and there are few people on the surface of Aspicio that has the ability to control them all. However, a new rule was implemeted by the void and the ancient civilization, an unbreakable chain that prevented the people of Aspicio to have any connection with the alien magic, the very same magic that led to the Ancients own destruction. And so the usage of the alien magic was banned from the surface of Aspicio.
The world of Aspicio lived together in peace, and the land flourished. Different cultures was established depending on the beliefs of the void and the ancients. Some people refered to stay away from anything about the legends of Serena and found they're own beliefs and purposes in life. The force of magic could never prosper in this individuals, and that's why the never developed a high acceptance of the usage of magical resources. Other people worshiped the legends, and find new ways to let the mind and body develop an acceptance of new layers of the magical auras.
The game itself takes part 1200 years after the end of the first crisis, and the lands are still living in peace even though the fact that the inhabitants have very different opinions, and beliefs. But something is slowly rising on the horizon, and stories about a worshiped king going mad, is spreading like crossfires troughout the lands. What actions are in motion, and why is the king transforming from a highly respected king into a tyrant?
At the same time, a young man wakes up in a rainy forest. Drenched to the bones, he stands up and the only thing he can resemble is a echoing voice that is burning inside his head. With no memories of who he is, or any memories about the world he slowly walks away and begins a journey to seek answers about himself. At the same time king Zephyr (also called the mad king) of Asper, has found information regarding an artifact that's dating back to Old Serena, that's said to be buried deep below the surface of Aspicio. What is this ancient artifact that the king recently discovered?, and why is he so obssesed in retrieving it?
That follows in the remaining plot: (I feel that this is going to be a long post).
Kind of a spoiler alert from here on: (Don't read if you don't want the game to be a bit spoiled)
Spoiler
The recent actions of King Zephyr has been devestating, and it seems like he will stop for nothing until the ancient artifact is in his hands. Lots of innocent people have been enslaved, and high councils of the magical society have been killed for not cooperating with the mad king. His search is widely directed on people with a strong sense of the magical auras, as stories are being told about a magical aura that can locate areas of connections with the void even from the surface of Aspicio itself. The land is in chock, and no one can really grasp why the king is taking violence into actions after generations of peace. People are living with a constant fear of an invasion from the north, but are trying to live their lives like usual, even though soldiers are being trained and stationed throughout the world to strike back if necessary. People are coping differently with the recent actions of King Zephyr, and some are fleeing to safer areas and are hiding their beliefs which they proudly presented before the evil motions started to take place. People are even so desperate that they kill they're newly born childs, since they have the genetic magical codes in their system.
At the same time, our main protagonist Vincent (the man waking up in the rainy forest with echoing voices inside his head, and with a sudden amnesia) continues his journey across the lands where he meets up with people, still in question about who he is. As events move along he is grouped up with a handful of people, like the lovely and energetic Wiola, her little sister Clem, A spear-wielding warrior from the amazon tribe Judith, that early develops a high interest for Vincent, A simple but deadly archer from the north named Shane, with an ego that's out of this world, and a warrior from Asper itself called Ryze.
On his journey he is presented with visions from a life that he can't remember, and find himself interacting with the ancient civilizations of Serena (That's evolved into celestial beings, because of It's deep involvement with the void). The ancient civilization bestow him as the only saviour of the evil actions that are in motion, and engulfed with hope he continues to search for the rest of the ancient beings, that is bestowing him with information about himself. Almost as they know him.
They also present him with their apologies about their failures that they bestowed upon this world, and that they are the reason for the king's behaviour and the events that are in motion, will surely present the world with a second crisis and a doom similar to what happened to the people of Serena.
Why are they the reason for the kings sudden change? Why is Vincent presented with the violent whispers inside his head, and why does it feel like he can't control his actions and mind during times? What is his connection with the ancients?, and what failures are they talking about? Why is Vincent presented with visions from another life?, Who's this mysterious Sona that appears wherever the members of the party goes? Is the artifact really in existance and if so, what is it? Can the ancients really be trusted, and what secrets lies waiting in the universe of the void? That's questions that will blossom through the storyline and the plot will build against all of this until the final secrets will be revelead, and twists will probably struck you once, or possibly twice!
All this along with alot of tension, romance, sorrow, sadness and happines between the characters of Vincent's party.
Mysterious secrets are waiting to be discovered.
Characters: (note that the information is just a summary)
Spoiler
Vincent
Age: 24 Years old.
Hometown: Unknown.
Short Bio:
Vincent is the protagonist of the game, and is given alot of focus during the storyline. There is not much known about this young man, and he doesnt have any memories about his past. After waking up in the middle of a rainy forest, he is haunted by echoing whispers inside his head, along with some distant memories from a possible past that he can't remember. As the game goes on, Vincent learns the truth about his identity, but what lies in store for this man? A deeper secret lies waiting to be discovered.
Wiola Dolea
Age: 22 Years old
Short Bio:
Wiola is a young Academic mage, and her current occupation is to protect the Forgotten Forest from Intruders. Her hometown, Town of Duke is located in the southern part of Aspicio, and here she was brought up by her Father and Mother, along with her younger sister. At a very young age she transfered to the Royal Academy and started her study to become a mage. 2 years after her sister was born, she left the academy to help her lonely mother raise the little girl. But at her sisters 10th birthday she was forced to transfer back to the academy to finish her studies. On her graduation, she had made a big name for herself, and her cunning in Destruction and Healing auras is well known across the land. As a person she is very energetic, helpful, caring, and has a strong heart for the nature.. almost to the brink of being a bit too extreme about it..
Clem Dolea
Age: 17 years old
Short Bio:
Clem is Wiolas younger sister, and that is basicly everything that the two sisters has in common.. Apart from her older sister, she has no experience in academic study, and already at a young age she was forced to learn everything about magic and combat, all by herself. The father left the family when Clem was only 8 years old because of the sisters mother who fell sick. With her sister at the academy, she had to take care of her mother, and moved out from Duke. As a person, she can seem a bit shy at first, and the main reason for that is her rough childhood, which has made her very defensive. Deep down inside she is a happy young lady, that tries to hide the real pain that is burrowed in her heart. She has an extreme interest in technology and mechanics, and over the years she has become very talented in repairing broken mechs. She now lives alone with her dying mother, at the outskirts of Duke.
Judith Suffert
Age: 26 Years old.
Short Bio:
Judith is an experienced Amazon warrior, and a member of the Shining Spears.
She is said to be the strongest member of the clan, and she is mostly famous because of her disregard of the use of magic. Within the Shining spears, she puts her faith in an ancient warrior that had the vision that magic was an escape from reality and a disruption of the human focus. Along these lines, she has trained to be one of the best spear-wielding warriors across the land, even without the help of any magical resources. When she joins the party, she early on develops a high interest for Vincent.
Shane Celeritas
Age: 23 Years Old.
Short Bio:
Shane is an experienced archer from the northern part of Aspicio. His family name Celeritas comes from the same area that he was brought up in, high across the mountains. The basic structure of his childhood has made him an expert in archery, and his intense skill in rapid-shooting is legendary even outside of his own family-name. Because of his lifestyle, He was forced to grow up without any technology or any advanced magic, he had to hunt his own food for survival and use his bow for everyday life. During the yearly hunting events, he was always the one to shine the most, which is something that had an large impact on his gigantic ego.
Sona
Age: 24 Years old.
Short Bio:
A mysterious young girl, that will show up alot during the partys quest.. She has a vital part of the plot, and I have everything related to that covered. I just need to work on her personality.
King Zephyr
Age: 31 Years old.
Short Bio:
The king of the Royal Empire in the North. Recovered a scroll dating back to the Ancient world of Serena, and is now looking for an artifact buried under the Surface of Aspicio.
Ideas and planned features:
- A Dynamic world, your choices will have a big impact of your surroundings, and decisions you make can alter events during your gameplay. People will have different opinions about you and your party, depending on your actions. (Example, a town might burn down if a criteria is met. People will not welcome you, and try to chase you away.. etc)
- 2 secret endings, aquired by special criteria.
- Lore for towns and locations, and the people living there.
- Lots of Quests and Side-quests that will have a big impact on the world. This accompanied by a questlog to
always keep track on what to do.
- A game-breaking choise that will give you different quest-lines, cutscenes, dialouges and possibly skills.
- Achivements! Will keep you occupied, and another playthrough is required to catch them all.
- Simple battle system, with skills as you level up, but you can custom some skills depending on choices.
The skill animations will be scripted and customized by myself, some including movie clips.
- Out-of-Combat skills that is needed to get secret items, and progress in puzzles.
- Interesting and different characters, alot of tension will storm up between them.. and love, sorrow, hatred, along with different opinions will blossom through the storyline.
- Interesting twist, that wont struck you once.. but possibly twice!
- Different Tier items, and the Legendary once will be hard to aquire.
- Ingame Npcs based on my favourite youtuber (for the luls, and because I really love his work), and also Npcs based on some of my real friends.
Some feedback on the ideas and plots I have talked about would be greatly appreciated! I'm sorry that it turned out into this gigantic post, but I tried to involve the most important story parts and the plots of my game.
Thanks alot for reading! This community is the best!
