Observations
- First up, are so many people meant to be related? Multiple people share a surname, but then some seemingly have no relation to each other based on the dialogue. It's a bit strange, especially if lineages are shared too widely.
- You have a lot of weird pauses in dialogue that can't be skipped past. That's unnecessary and slows down the pace.
- I can tell you aren't a native English speaker (or so it would seem). The script could use a pass by someone more fluent. There's a lot of dialogue that reads oddly.
- The tutorial fights are mindless. You aren't required to do anything but hit Attack. It would be a good idea to at least make the Goblins a group of two to better match your party of three.
- I can tell you're trying to make Dmitry feel threatening, but he falls incredibly flat. He has nothing to say whatsoever, which isn't a problem in and of itself, but you fail to use his actions to get across how dangerous he is. I honestly fail to believe he slew a whole bunch of soldiers so easily when the city guard seemed to have little trouble leading him into a corner. Then you battle him, and he's nothing. He even runs from you!
He would come off better if he dealt the party a heavy blow to end the battle and then ran, as then it would appear like he just grew tired of dealing with them and wanted them out of his way.
- You have a lot of weird pauses in dialogue that can't be skipped past. That's unnecessary and slows down the pace.
- I can tell you aren't a native English speaker (or so it would seem). The script could use a pass by someone more fluent. There's a lot of dialogue that reads oddly.
- The tutorial fights are mindless. You aren't required to do anything but hit Attack. It would be a good idea to at least make the Goblins a group of two to better match your party of three.
- I can tell you're trying to make Dmitry feel threatening, but he falls incredibly flat. He has nothing to say whatsoever, which isn't a problem in and of itself, but you fail to use his actions to get across how dangerous he is. I honestly fail to believe he slew a whole bunch of soldiers so easily when the city guard seemed to have little trouble leading him into a corner. Then you battle him, and he's nothing. He even runs from you!
He would come off better if he dealt the party a heavy blow to end the battle and then ran, as then it would appear like he just grew tired of dealing with them and wanted them out of his way.