Scourge of Obscurity

Hello everyone, I'm kinda new to the forum. I know you're all familiar with the current contest an all so, I thought I would post our game another user and I (kokoraven17) made. I am not asking for any votes it's just that we would like some feedback &/or a review as to what may need working on and how are the characters/story so we may possibly venture out into the commercial game scene. I will be posting the same screenshots from the submission page.

The game is short albeit the massive download size (233mb) it should only take about 19 to 30 minutes at the most to complete. I thank you for any and all comments and criticism.

*Edit: I have added a non-rtp version for download (47.1mb) to ease the pain of downloading.

*Edit: Corrected some grammer for koko...

Screenshots:

Link: http://contest.rpgmakerweb.com/game/view/id/406

1st of all just want to say thank you for screen shots(makers that dont get the importance of 1st post screens fail :3)

have not played so thoughts from that

1.the title looks Awesome!the writing is nifty and custom,yet unlike some attempts ive seen at fancy writing i can actually read this!

also the grid effect looks really cool,gave me a feelign of dragon quest years ago for nes

it came with a world map

and as a kid that was one of the coolest things for me at the time!

this somehow triggered that memory i like it!

(if someone would make a game in rpg maker based off one piece amoung other animes i like :3)

2.the fire effect looks BEAUTIFUL!

kudos! you even added the burns on the ground outside the house

nice details(ive seen camp fires during dounpoursand my thoughts werent so content lol...)

3.at first i thought that maid was holding a sword at the guards,think it is supposed to be a plate from closer inspection :3

but to 2 lanterns in that picture.

near the maid and in the bottom left look a tad awkward in placing

like the bottom left is hovering in mid air and the bottom right is on the ground

in the middle of the hallway

maybe thats just me tho

4.options!? yay :D

1st and second option tho 2 . is a lil ugly looking

"you must have faith"

"it will be fine"

rather then a period it should be broken with a  comma ,

just a nit pick because short sentences like that slightly annoy me.(personally i dont use . , ' or caps normally when typing)

but if you did that remember the word after the comma isnt capitallized

id personally have to check on god

id think hes not a person or place(name of person)

^in anycase this is just a personal nitpick

//

ok 19-30 minutes

ill play this after finishes downloading then ill give thoughts on the game itself

I haven't played this yet but why is the title screen a screenshot of RPG Maker instead of an in-game map? :')

My feed back is usually lengthy and sometimes detailed,sorry in advance for those who dislike reading.

Random thoughts

Did not like a game over from not following the voice,shoulnt even be a choice in this case
this only makes since in horror games where a choice leads to death
unless its a mulitple ending game where you control characters and the game changes if they live or die.

lvl 17 doctor!? : D nice start!

yay descriptions! but if hes lvl 17 how does he not have much experience?

look for text thats too long,Virtus for example his Bio the K in back is  of screen

"its just you,your highness"? dam that was a rude way to speak to nobilty!

suring the queen part,in the laundry room i liked how one of the maids left the room lik she was actuually working :3
also nice touch witht eh characters walking around like that
the extra programming for that to happen can be a pain but tis worth it :3

hmmm do the choices not effect the story onyl some text?
because i picked the willpower book with teh queen(humans power wins)
and when i got control over the veteran knight again
she tells me to have  faith in god which contradicted all my choices thus far o.o

i love the script that allows you to see your party follow you,feels more legit then them beign inside you
also fun because you can switch the formation and who is in the lead! : D
//
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ok finished the game got Bad end assuming the choices in game choose the ending

.keep in mind the following is my personal opinion so dont take it to heart or as a fact

Pros
-The triggers were nicely done
-little to no grammar mistakes
-lighting effects look nice
-does not take a long time to complete
-choices
-no grinding for those who dislike it
-no battles(this is if you dont like them,personally im fine either way)

Cons
-Arrows that point to doors or areas you cant go to
-did not personally care about the characters
-story is dull and cliche(personally tired of humans wanting/needing to save the world(humanity) want to play the reverse role)
-there was a item shop but theres no use for the items
-seems my choice to rely on humans didnt mean anything : ( the queen still said otherwise.

Overall for me this was a good game but easily forgettable storywise.
we dont get much characterazation for the playable characters.
the cause of the situation can be assumed but i prefer to have a explaination a availible anyway.
This would imo be a good introduction for people who never played or heard of rpg maker b4

closing-what this game lacked in story and character development or characterazation.
it made up for it with the lighting effects,choices,multiple endings,lively npcs that move around and good mapping.

Thank you for your time.

Edit-after 3 tries i finally got the good end now im even more satisfied :3

@Cinnamon, Yes I used a snippet of an editor shot applied to a stock title screen with some opacity. I used it because of time constraints and my inability to find a script to use a map for a title screen. But don't let that deter you... -G119

@shayoko, Thanks for taking the time and giving great feedback to the game. I thoroughly appreciate it. As for the likes/dislikes, I can understand them. Given the short time that was given to make the game, as well as the fact that the game is based off of a short story, I knew that the characters would be relatively flat and uninteresting as the story was the main point of the original short story.

As for the choices, as you are well aware there is a good end and a bad end. The willpower book that you chose is 1 point toward the good ending, however because the other choices you chose were bad, you still got the bad ending, causing the Queen to reply as if you took the other book. You need at least three points to get the good ending; certain choices can net you good points or bad points, as well as a few netural ones.

The item shop is pertinent to the gameplay if you get the good ending. The good ending has one battle at the end, a Boss. So, there are in fact battles, albeit only one.

The gameover from not following the voice was an amusement for myself, and I'll admit that it was a bit troll like. At any rate, thanks for taking the time to look and respond about the game. -kokoraven17

*Edited for additonal info.

I just find it interesting that instead of taking a screenshot while "in" the game (playing it), you used a screenshot of the editor, haha. I'll give it a go later though. :)