Plot and Character Feedback

Nothing special, just sprites made with the good ol' generator :3 I haven't made them all yet though (same goes for their personalities) so here's a brief description of the characters (I haven't typed out their bios yet).

Ciara - A shapeshifter who can transform into almost any animal.

Lobelia - An elf woman who acts bright despite her dark past.

Anna-Mae - A vampire who has been around since the 16th century.

Kale - A part human, part dragon being. (And a possible love interest of Ciara's)

Caspian - A sea monster from the depths of the ocean. (And also a possible love interest of Ciara's)

Again, these are only outlines, I've yet to come up with the full bios of the characters ^-^

Okay, first time to post here about my project's stories and their plot. This plot is yet to be made as a game though, so I wanna hear some feedback.

Game Title: God of Animation

Genre: Fantasy x Futuristic

Plot:

The story is set on an alternate world called "Befellia", a planet similar to Earth but with more abundant resources, located on the Andromeda Galaxy. The people of Befellia called 'Real' are good natured and believes that a worthy and reverend God created them in order, where all laws and Befellia's entirety is created with purpose. However, the kind King of Befellia suddenly got ill, and since he had no son nor prince to carry on the Kingdom, the Kingdom Adviser Sevalle took over temporarily and gave orders and made decisions of the kingdom. However, Sevalle, engrossed in a queer religion and turned away his love to the original god, decided to slay the king and whoever defies his orders. Soon after, he was crowned King of Befellia, and the whole planet was filled with eternal crime, darkness, and different sins, and so, the rise of Sevalle's army called "Animation" has terrorized Reality (Humanity in Earth, Befellia's mankind is called Reality). An aspiring Evangelist named Coren from the western countries felt that there is a need to end the terror of the Animation, thus made him travel to all corners of Befellia to stop Sevalle's army. Along his journey, he befriends five specialists of their own battle techniques, with only the aim to stop Sevalle.How will Coren and his five friends stop the powerful animation and destroy the religion that they built along time? Coren soon discovers that it is not only Sevalle that is along all the evil happening to the land, but the God of Animation, whom Sevalle praises and calls "Lesce" is the mastermind of everything. A tale of faith, reality, friendship and theories of orderly life, how will one Evangelist stop a god?

What do you think, guys?

I was intrigued at once, probably because I've made stories with similar elements.

I have to say, I would definately play the game. It would be nice to know more about the characters, but the story is pretty imaginative and Sevalle seems like a formdable villain.

Thanks. Sevalle is not the main enemy, and I intended that he is mainly beatable at the third half of the game. Still not sure since this is not yet made officially Thanks for the feedback.

I have another idea.

Long ago, on the planet Gelidaotresed, there was a great species, the Ikh, the Ikh had spread across the whole world, mighty and advanced in their technology, they were proud of their power and grew careless and unprepared, for on the third hour third day of the third year of the third age, there was a mighty quake that shook the whole planet, this quake lasted three years and three days, all the while a terrible, scalding rain of acid rained, burning the world, melting the great towers they had built, the caves they sheltered in, the ground they dug under, all dissolved into sand.

Until on that third day of the third year, it had all ended, the sun shone bright, TOO bright, for the hundreds of thousands of years afterwards, the terrible acid rain came and went at a normal, earth like pace, but in between there was an endless, scorching sun that never moved, a hot wind that burned the skin and gave rise to sandstorms.

You may ask, "why not go somewhere else", the other side of the planet was bathed in darkness and cold, bloodstained ice, an endless rain of cold, infectious, toxic, frozen solid, razor sharp blood, the dark side was filled with horrors that only came to the firery desert during the dark rainclouds cover, inside the deep, deep, deep tombs underground, such as the shadowborn, shadows that chase you down and cloud you in darkness, mask hunters, demons that stalk you from behind when you can't see them, and the mysterious Whisper Men, with unknown origins and intents.

You are the young Ikh, Benik Vortoe (people say their surnames first), he heads out with his trusty C-55 PU to find the cause of these demons but most importantly, to find his missing friend.

So there it is, other than the whisper men the concept was all made by me.

P.S. A friend of mine said something to me about ideas being taken, i assume no-one is allowed to use these ideas without my permission?.

P.S. A friend of mine said something to me about ideas being taken, i assume no-one is allowed to use these ideas without my permission?.Sounds nifty so far. I doubt anyone would go in here and wholly steal an idea for their own RM project. Inspired? Well that's a different story.

--

Right now, I'm playing around with this idea for a game. Let's call it Gentleman and the She Wolf. It's about a young "gentleman" gunmage by the name Kamaria.

Kamaria travels the world collecting the obligatory 'Empire Crystals,' which are used to build magical empires. (what, what.)

Kamaria meets a woman by the name of Nthanda, and they hit it off pretty well. Unfortunately, the new girlfriend is a complete , and it takes a very long time before Kamaria (and hopefully the player,) figures out that she's no good.

Queue the fight against Nthanda with a god orchestra.  :rock-right:

Yeah, the plot has its silly moments, but there are some pretty horrific arks. I'm theming most of the character development around "always moving forward."

Every character has a flaw that keeps them soaking about the past; something they cannot change. I'm looking at 6 party members,

and I'll probably write some character descriptions when I'm not suffering from artist block.

Also, this story is not connected to the post on page 12. Nthanda's a she wolf because she's the antagonist from the word "go."

But damn, girl! You got dat DPS. Dat charm and wit. Dat competence. Dat independence. Dat ass. Etc, etc.

.

, 

Ok, so i have been using the default weapons in VX Ace for my games for a while now and i am growing tired of them. So, in effect of this i have decided to make my own weapons and armour. But, i have no idea how to go about how the armour effects the player. I know how to make a weapon and and stats and buffs and states but i feel as though i over power the player when i make my armour and weapons. I have made a few basic weapons like short sword, short bow, and stuff like that on my own but i can't seem to find a rhythm on how to advance, if you will, my weapons. I even used this DND pdf on armour and weapons listing: http://www.launchpad...erence_v1.0.pdf just to give you an idea of what i've been searching for. If anyone has a way to explain how to best come up with weapon or armour ideas with the best stats, i'd like to know.

If there are any questions on what i prefer, please post your question below.

Thank you for taking your time.

~D_P

can some one please give me an idea on how to go about creating weapons?

Inspired by the personal story of the writer Yukio Mishima I was thinking about a game in a medieval kinda world + homossexuality themes. Not intended to fall into a pity cliche of melodrama love story, of course. What you guys think? I've have not seen many rpgs with gay characters. I want to develop, add depth to them, not fall in easy and commom cliches chars. Hope I get no hate, prejudice or infamous reputation hahaha.

A young noble man which name is yet to be chosen is gay and cannot accept his nature because of the conventions of the society. Trying to escape the opression, he enters in contact with a smuggler (also gay) and together they begin to plan a way to erode the unified kingdom - of course, this is simplified here; in game it requires well constructed development. Since the smuggler is marginal/declassed, he know people from rebel factions, heretic religions, underground groups and so on. The game would revolve around conflict for power. Unlike my current project, where gods and other extraordinary entities take role and heavily influences human action, this one should have more emphasys in the human conflict and the uncertain of tell what religion or system is the "truth".

If I would have to make a comparation,the project would be somekind of FFTatics without Lucavi demons and stuff.

Of course, there other details, characters and stuff; I already have a guess of gameplay mechanics and the game is not only about homossexuality. But the important now is: when this "X" begins to know some places where gays secretly go, he begins to discover a completly different universe from his natural ambient of castles and noble family. And then he begins to construct and wear "masks" in order to live in the rigid moralist society. (This is where enters the "inspiration" from Yukio Mishima). And following the life of Mishima, in the end he would reject his "true" self, assuming the ideals of his family, thus making him enemy of the former friend smuggler and other rebels.

I really think that Mishimas life has some of fiction and tragic beauty (he failed in making his gay condition a way to criticise the old morals and conservadorism in japanese society and commited sepukku, samurai suicide). Of course this is a paraphrasis or inspiration, not a copy+paste of Mishimas biography into a game, because I like to elaborate, add details and complexity to stories. Also, ANY fiction is not real life, even if is inspired by.

The great kingdom where the story takes place is called something like Vedalia or Vedanta, Vedantes, etc and the capital would be Rigveda. (Its clear to see from where I "got" these names.

I hope I'm making things clear, but I'm not too sure because of my english. (I dont know if smuggler is the proper term, for me it seems so modern...)

As this project is still a "yet-to-be", theres no definied thing. Just an idea growing in my mind....If open minded people think its interesting I already would be happy. Thanks in advance for taking your time. :p

@SergeX
Pretty cool, dude. Anything that experiments with race and sexuality is always nifty in my book. But I will say that hatred towards LGBT is starting to become cliche. Is this a bad thing? No, of course not. But I might as well bring it up either way.
And always remember that just because your project represents something, you cannot use that as a reason to write a poorly crafted story.
That's not the case from what I've seen in concept, but keep this in mind.  :)
 
@Gamer64
I didn't look at the spreadsheet for very long, but here's a tip. If you going to create items that give the player something special E.G, reflect, protect, shell, etc; make sure the enemies are in harmony with those effects.

If one of my characters get an item that has a chance to reflect spells, it's a smart idea for the next group of enemies to be casters.

Don't give the player items that cannot be used soon, with good results.

And don't worry about adding a whole lot of armors and weapons. If you create 5 tiers of items that complement the design of said tier's dungeon,

it's A LOT better than 400 weapons and armor of 'meh.'

@Clareain_Cristopher Thanks for the advice. I'm aware that having a concept does not justify bad executed stories. Its all about the way you develop things.

The hatred towars LGBT is cliche because is a part of the homossexual world impossible to skip - but isn't the whole; theres also the inner strife, LGBT culture and jargon, etc.  Cliche is inavoidable. Everything already have been done before. So, I repeat: Its all about the good execution of cliche or already used theme; I usually put a lot of time and effort trying to make coerent story, plotwists and personality of characters.

Good to know that my idea can result something. ^.^ though it will take time, I have to finish my current project. At least I will have time to mature the ideas. 

I've been spending the last few days going over a project idea I've had.

So far I have the premise, small overview and partial character bios. It's planned to be a dark, thriller/ horror genre with an unforgiving and brutal plot.

The setting is not so far into the near future (maybe a decade or so from now), a space station orbiting the moon came across a strange symbiotic life-form that they took in a started researching. The scientists and researchers were researching and developing ways to improve human abilities and extend life spans. While checking the life-forms immune systems they infected it with a rather deadly artificially created pathogen that resulted with nightmarish consequences. The life-form caused a mutated DNA symbiosis with the pathogen and transformed into a brutal creature formless in shape yet had an ominous plain face-like mask with a morbid, serene smile that began a rampage through the space station. It infected many scientists and researchers which then mutated into similar strains of the original monster.

However, these infections were somewhat incomplete as the DNA from the life-form has already encrypted itself into that of the alien life-form so the infected could not pass on the infections, yet the original was able to produce offspring by fusing with several men and women becoming asexual in reproduction which could indeed infect other humans.

Before take over was complete one scientist managed to make a distress call to earth to kill and destroy all traces of the life-form as it was continuously growing and spreading. Eradication was essential as the space station is due to make an auto pilot return to Earth in the coming 8 months, so Earth sent a Strike and Task Team to the space station to deal with the alien virus.

The playable characters so far are the somewhat "Standout Front Team" made up of an assassin, mercenary and an ex-soldier who now serves in the secret services.

Jealynn Levanna Viper - Aged 25 > Mercenary [Handgun specialist]

Liza Margaret Grain - Aged 31 > Assassin [Rifle/ Sniper specialist]

Joseph Connor Banks - Aged 34 > Secret Service Agent [shotgun/ Machine Gun specialist]

The Team:

(All teams are issued with their specialist weapon as well as a hunting/ combat knife.)

Their mission is simple; wipe all Alien Pathogens, rescue any survivors if possible, and salvage any computer data before the space station descends to Earth. As if it will be that simple.

So, tell me your thoughts on this~

@Chaos Avian


That's a pretty awesome plot so far; and I love the artwork, dude.

So I've already made headway into my project, but I didn't really get feedback on the story. Here is a synopsis of Chaos Sword. A medieval fantasy game mostly inspired by Dragon Quest, but with a story that is somewhat centered around power corruption. I honestly haven't fleshed this out fully.

 

As far as the genre is concerned, it's supposed to be somewhere middle-ground. Not too dark, but not goofy either. It has many fun, comedic moments mixed in with tragic ones.

Anyway, here it goes:

 

 

1648 A.D., in a world filled with magic and mystery, the Time of Darkness reigned. A world-renowned swordsman and noble, Duke Dunstan of Edgard, sold his soul to the king of the Netherworld, Beelzen. He became Dunstan, the evil king of darkness, and with the direction of his otherworldly weapon, the Chaos Sword, he lead his army of demons, beasts, and barbarians to a war against mankind.

 

The other nations of the world responded with resistance, but resistance also met with death. Over time, Dunstan began to tear this world apart piece by piece, and would have forever plunged the world into darkness, if not for the effort of one man.

 

This warrior, whose name remains undocumented, stepped forth to challenge the wicked tyrant. He infiltrated Dunstan’s stronghold on Levi Island, and came out alive brandishing the severed head of the evil king himself. Suddenly, the world changed. The demonic creatures that swarmed the lands retreated to the depths in a panic. Powerful beasts and men became free of the evil king’s spell, reverting into gentle, peaceful sorts. This hero left without commencement, but the rest of the world rejoiced as the Time of Darkness finally ended.

 

35 years has passed since the defeat of the evil king. The Levi Island, his original stronghold, has become nothing more than an uninhabited, uncharted land mass. Strange beasts still roam this landmark, but they no longer pose a threat to mankind. Three major nations sought to colonize the land for its resources, disregarding its bleak history, and formed the three kingdoms of Levi: Kenonia, Resiliar, and Valoria. The Kingdom of Valoria is considered the weakest of the three, but it is also the subject of our tale.

 

Recently, the Ruler of Valoria, King Enguard IV, appointed a new knight to serve his kingdom, Oreh Calibur. Oreh is a lively young man with both a good hand in sword fighting an a noble heart, and in just a day after his inauguration into the Knights of Valoria, he was given the task of guiding a aerial trade ship destined for the Resiliar Kingdom. Everything appeared to go as planned, until a dreaded accident plunged the ship towards the southern isle near Levi, killing everyone on board except for Oreh himself.

 

Weary and distraught, Oreh seeks to return to his kingdom bearing the terrible news. However, he begins to notice that something has changed since his departure. Did he just encounter a creature not of this world? Reports throughout the island are surging with a sudden increased aggression with monsters, and an eerie chill can be felt through the nights. What could all of this mean?

 

Thus begins the quest of Oreh, as he travels the land of Levi to not only get back to his home, but find the truth.

So that's the introductory information for you. I'll also reveal some spoilers for the sake of feedback, the game is sort of meant to progress step by step, where the full story unfolds as the player progresses, so I didn't want to reveal too much, but here it is:

So there you have it. Thoughts?

At its most basic level it sounds a little cliche, but adding on the history and plot seems like it'd be sort of interesting. I'd like to see where you take the rivalry between the two kingdoms, and how the third fits into it all. Perhaps Oreh learns what happened to Enguard and defects to combat him? At any rate, the story itself might need a little polishing, but the premise seems neat.

Yep, he's not the only one. :p

I honestly couldn't think of a better name for him. Anyway, thanks for your advice. I think I definitely need to elaborate a little bit on the relationships between the kingdoms.

Here's a name generator that might be able to help you out. It also includes a bunch of other neat generators if you're feeling strapped for ideas.

As a rule of thumb: The richer your history, the better your story. If you take the time to plan out the history and lore of your world, your game will feel much fuller as a result. You don't necessarily have to include it all in your game, but setting aside some history for at least yourself will give you more ideas for how to present your game world. I can't speak for everybody, but personally I like when a game includes nods to its own history, like a villager referencing an old war or a book about ancient species and such. So yes, definitely include some inter-kingdom interaction, and you might even get some inspiration for a questline or two. :)

N

Hi there, ZoroarX here.


Today, I need your oppinion again. As you know, already, I'm still working on my game "Heroes RPG - Rise of Elite Shadow". Anyway, I need your oppinion to choose a name to the boss of Elite Shadow. What name would I give to him? I had an idea, maybe it can be Darius, I don't know, please give me some names I could use to this villain!


Here is one of the scenes of the encounter with him, in this spoiler:

To reduce the size of my post, I've put the image in the spoiler.

I'm always afraid of sharing my plot ideas because I'm scared of thieves :'(


not that anyone wishes to steal from this piece of... nevermind. just. feedback.


so this is without giving away too much detail:



Fomalhaut is a cool name I think. (geez, sounds like a strange wizard doesn't it?)
okay what about Valerius? Schwarz?

Seems like a decent, strong story to me sir. The only thing that bothers me is that you described two moments of major coincedence , being a solo-survivor which automatically gives that person an invincible feel. Maybe you want to alter that part to like three survivors where two of them get killed? dunno, just throwing in some random things.

@Cartridge


Sounds like a solid story.


I wonder why the Duke feels it wholly necessary for ethnic cleansing, and how the people appointed this man in the first place~