Paladin-Cleric of Awesome

The phone was ringing.

The sound was filed away with the countless others, each one carefully categorised and stored away as non-threatening. It was impossible to ignore everything around him, it was ingrained inside him now, his ears ever straining to hear that tell-tale rattle of stones, that meant someone was where they weren’t supposed to be, the slight click of a safety trigger, the thrum of a bomb hurtling its way across the sky.

It took him a long moment to remember that he was supposed to answer the phone when it rang. He heaved himself to his feet, reaching for the smooth wood of the stick his fellow soldiers had given him as his farewell gift. It took a moment for his weight to rest comfortably on the prosthetic leg, a phantom pain his therapist assured him would fade as time went on, sparking up the from the knee.

He held his ground, like he did in everything and waited for it to pass, leaning on the stick.

The phone stopped ringing, but he limped his way towards it anyway, because he knew who it was, and sure enough the phone sprang to life again shrilly just as his hand closed round it.

“Hey Gabrielle.” He said, surprised by how tired he sounded.

“You sound like , Michael.” His sister told him succinctly, blunt as always.

“I try.” He answered, feeling a smile wind its way onto his face. It was always easier to smile when talking with her.

“You’re getting faster.” She said, and he couldn’t argue with that, he was sure she timed how long it took him to answer every call she made, probably had a spreadsheet somewhere to compare.

“Well.” He shrugged, taking the chance to lean against the wall, taking the weight off his leg. “What’s your pleasure today?”

She rolled with his change of subject easily. “I’m coming to pick you up. We have an emergency appointment we can’t afford to miss.”

He quickly glanced towards the calendar Gabrielle had pinned to his wall, picking out the red circle for his physiotherapy and the green for planned lunches. There was nothing scheduled for today at all. “Gabrielle?” he asked, suddenly able to pick out a twinge of annoyance in her words.

“Just be dressed in something nice. I’ll explain when I get there.”

She hung up abruptly, unlike her, and Michael nodded numbly at the phone, setting it back into its cradle, frowning. His little sister wasn’t much given to bad humour. Things rarely annoyed her, and even if she was annoyed she rarely let it slip past a very careful façade of serenity. Even knowing her for all of her 28 years gave him little insight into her inner thoughts.

He limped his way to his bedroom to get dressed and ready.

**

Gabrielle was a force of nature to be reckoned with, Michael had always known that, and not for the first time he was glad of it as he tried to wrap his head around what she had told him in the car.

“Have you seen the news report on the car crash two days ago?” Gabrielle asked.

“No.” Michael answered carefully. He did his best to avoid watching the news, in case there were reports on what was happening overseas. He was feeling guilty enough not being there, but watching it happen from so far away would make things worse.

Gabrielle gave him a sideways look that told him very plainly that she was unimpressed by this, and he resigned himself to her muscling her way into this as she had everything else. “To recap then, two days ago there was a bad crash up by the lookout point. The car went over the edge, through the barrier. The car hadn’t been serviced in a while and the brakes cut out.” Her fingers clenched around the steering wheel, and Michael couldn’t help but wonder what the purpose of this was.

“Anyway, there were four people in the car, a man, woman and two children. The way the car went down the whole front was bashed to hell. The man and woman died. The two children survived. I’ve been asked to look into it and do a spread on it in the magazine.”

“Gabrielle,” he tried to break in, not understanding.

“I’m getting to that, just listen.” She told him, another sideways glance promising some form of retribution if he didn’t shut up.

“So I did a little research into the family. Nothing very interesting, I figured I have to go with the ‘heroic sister saves younger brother from horror crash’ and try to get some interviews.” Gabrielle went quiet then, and surprised Michael by saying, “She did you know, save him from the car. There’s no way he could have got out himself. The police say they found them a good distance from the car, the little boy was knocked out from the crash.”

“Gabrielle?” Michael asked again, softly, concerned.

She shook her head. “Sorry, I’m not explaining this very well. Anyway, I thought I’d find a bit more about the family themselves, see what she came from you know. So I did some asking around neighbours and whatnot, and found out that the girl, Lucy, was only the mothers daughter, and you know me Michael, I can’t stop until I know everything. So I looked up her birth certificate to find out who her father was and…”

“And?” Michael prompted; he knew it was important, she never beat around the bush so much if it wasn’t something important that she didn’t know how he would react to.

“Well… it seems dad had a bit of an affair nearly fifteen years ago.”

Michael opened his mouth to say something, only to find that all the words that fled.

Gabrielle reached across to squeeze his arm in solidarity, but it did nothing to help his whirling thoughts.

That had been over an hour ago, and now he sat in the hospital waiting room, watching his sister talking rapidly with the receptionist, trying to get them in to see the girl who was their much younger sister.

He could remember fifteen years ago in an odd sort of haze, some things were unbearably sharp and focused, his mother’s death from cancer standing out in sharp contrast to everything else. The cancer they hadn’t even known she’d had, until she’d gone to the doctor with a pain, and was dead in hospital three days later.

He remembered Gabrielle standing over him, hands on her hips, while he wallowed in grief and told him to stop acting like a baby. Bullying him into the shower, bullying him out of bed, bullying him into going to school. His father he could hardly remember from that time at all, he’d all but disappeared from their lives from then on, leaving the two of them to fend for themselves for the most part.

Their father had been dead five years now. Michael had missed the funeral.

Had the man know about this other daughter? Had he even cared? Not enough to tell either he or Gabrielle about her at least.

“The social worker assigned to their case is going to come in and speak with us.” Gabrielle dropped into the seat beside him, breaking him from his thoughts.

“Why are you so interested in this?” he couldn’t help asking, because he wanted to know what was going on in her head.

Gabrielle shrugged. “I don’t know. It just seems important. Like it’s something we need to do. She’s our sister Michael, and from what I’ve been able to find out about her family, there is no one else, only us.”

It took Michael a second to wrap his thoughts around that, before he gaped at his sister. “You want us to take her in?”

“Well, not just her.”

“You want us to take both of them in? Did you even think this through? Where would they live? You’ve got a one bedroom flat, work long hours and… and we don’t even know them!” Michael burst out, agitated.

Gabrielle offered him a quelling stare, before slowly and deliberately looking away.  “Well, to be honest, I thought it might be better if you took them in.”

Michael felt his jaw drop and tried to dredge up some form of response, but his mind was completely blank, so he forced his mouth to close and his jaw to clench and he glared at her, hoping she could read everything on his face that he couldn’t think to say.

“Oh don’t pout.” She told him, not even looking. “It’ll do you good to have something to focus your attention on.”

Something to focus your attention on. He snorted; he already had too much to worry about as it was. Well, the social worker would set his sister straight he was sure. There was no way they’d let a complete stranger take in the kids, even if they were sort of related.

Right?

Chapter 2

Judgement

Elaine Harvey had been a social worker for far too long. And in all that time she’d found that the bad tended to outweigh the good. It was like human beings were programmed for tragedy, violence and hatred, rather than love and care. It made it hard to remember why she’d taken this job in the first place.

There were a few cases, the most recent the finalised adoption of AJ Cawley into the Tanner home, where shining beacons in an otherwise thankless, heart wrenching job. But these were few and far between.

Her newest case was Lucy and Rafe Rose, survivors of the horrific crash at Lookout Point. Orphaned and left at the mercy of the system in one tragic night. With no family that could be traced, and no parental wills or even rumour of guardians chosen for them. Even tracing Lucy’s biological father had ended in failure. The man was dead.

There was little chance she was going to be able to get the two placed together, despite their circumstances. Of the two Rafe would be the easiest to place, children always were. She’d idly toyed with the idea of seeing if Lucy’s father’s grown children would be willing to take the girl in, but shelved it as unfair. The might want to have contact, but they couldn’t be expected to give up their time so fully for a girl they didn’t know.

It was a sad truth.

These thoughts had been whirling in her head near constantly since the case file had been dropped on her already overburdened desk. Since then she had also been the frontline defence for the children, keeping the ever curious press from conducting interviews neither were ready for.

As she pulled into the hospital car park she wondered if it might not be easier to just move herself permanently into the waiting room to deal with reporters as they arrived. The constant to and fro was eating into her deasil.

It didn’t take much to school her face into pure professionalism on the short walk into the hospital, ready, as countless times before, to send these people packing. No one would be getting in to upset the children under her watch if she could help it. They really had no shame.

The reporter was easy to pick out, blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail, dressed sharply in a blue short sleeved blouse and yellow knee length skirt. He eyes scanning everyone who walked in the door, on the lookout for Elaine no doubt. But the man beside this woman seemed out of place for a reporter’s companion, ill at ease and trying to sink into his brown leather jacket.

As Elaine drew closer she noticed the two looked very similar, brother and sister perhaps, and felt herself frown. This wasn’t what she was expecting.

The woman nudged her companion when she realised who Elaine was and stood. The man took a little longer to awkwardly haul himself up, and leaned heavily on a walking stick when he was upright.

“Hello, you must be the social worker. I’m Gabrielle Macgyver and this is my brother Michael.”

It took Elaine a moment to place the name, but when she did she was floored. This definitely wasn’t what she had been expecting. “You’re not a reporter.” She said, trying, and failing, to hide her surprise.

Gabrielle waved her hand airily. “Oh I am, but that’s not why we’re here today. We need to speak with you about Lucy and Rafe and the possibility of getting custody of them.”

Well, Elaine couldn’t help but think, she was certainly direct. And her request was surprising.

“Gabrielle!” Michael hissed, and Elaine could see there was some contention over Gabrielle’s decision, and it was clear to see that she was determined on it, despite her brother’s unease.

“I think we should maybe talk this out over coffee.” Elaine suggested.

**

Two hours and seven cups of coffee and three slices of pie later, Elaine found herself leading Gabrielle and Michael to the children’s ward. She hadn’t made any kind of decision, and had urged the two not to rush into anything. But she couldn’t lie and say she wasn’t floored by the proposal Gabrielle had laid in front of her.

Gabrielle had put forward that her brother, who lived in their old family bungalow, would take in both Lucy and Rafe, with Gabrielle moving back home until they were settled to help out.  Michael hadn’t seemed too into the idea, Elaine could read his unease and uncertainty over the whole thing, but couldn’t pin down if it was because he truly didn’t wish to have the children in his home, or more to do with his own injury and recovery.

She couldn’t let herself get lost in the idea of it, because it was very nearly too good to be true, and even she couldn’t be lucky enough to have two complete success cases so close to each other. She’d ended the discussion with a firm; “Get to know them first. We’ll be keeping them in care until the funeral. So that’s nearly three weeks. You can make your decision then.”

Michael had looked equal parts relieved and resigned, and Elaine made a note to speak with him alone if she could at some stage, because it wouldn’t be fair for him to feel obligated into it just because his sister was so determined.

“They’re still a bit banged and bruised.” She explained when they reached the private room her two charges had been settled into. “The hospital is keeping them until tomorrow afternoon. Please try to avoid upsetting them, and don’t ask any questions about their parents.”

Gabrielle nodded, and Elaine wondered if it would be hard for her to reign in the journalistic urge to dig for answers. Michael spoke up then, distracting her attention.

“What do we say about… you know… the whole brother, sister thing?”

Elaine considered it, had resting on the door.  “Tell the truth,” she said at last. “Lucy is old enough to understand, and Rafe is young enough to just accept it.” She pushed the door open and couldn’t help but smile at the picture they presented. Curled up next to each other and both sound asleep.

“Maybe we should come back later?” Michael suggested softly.

“Tomorrow.” Gabrielle affirmed. “Maybe it’s for the best.”

Elaine nodded. It would give her time to prepare them both… prepare them all perhaps. “I’ll give you my direct number. Give me a call and I’ll let you know when a good time would be.”

**

As she returned to her office, she pondered the situation, and couldn’t help but be hopeful that she had not misjudged the entire thing. Because if she could get Lucy and Rafe settled somewhere together, she honestly thought they would be better off.

She would still need to speak with Michael Macgyver alone before committing to any sort of decision.

They’d all have to see how it went.

Chapter 3.1

Death

Michael thought about Death a lot.

It wasn’t that he wanted to die, because he didn’t. But sometimes it felt that he might already be dead. Everything he had built his life into had been stripped away. Torn from him under the burning sun, cut away by shrapnel and pain. Which left him with nothing.

He tried not to let it get to him, tried to avoid thinking about it. But once more he’d woken too early, with the remnants of the memory clinging to him and phantom pain exploding inside of him. Fingers grasping desperately at the sheets and fighting the urge to heave himself to the side of the bed to vomit.

The night clung to him, heavy with despair, and he knew he wouldn’t be sleeping again tonight. It took what felt like hours for the pain to subside, and he had to force himself to ride it out, to stop himself from reaching into the bedside table drawer to pull out his painkillers. He couldn’t afford to become dependent on them, couldn’t let himself sink any lower than he was.

At last, when it had faded to nothing more than a dull throb, he made himself move, swinging his legs off the bed and reaching for the prosthetic and carefully strapping it on. He levered himself up, hissing as his weight settled and grabbing his stick. He was supposed to try walking without the stick when he could, to try and make his walk more natural, but despite all promises to the contrary, he still felt like he would topple to the side if he tried walking without on.

He shuffled his way out of the bedroom and into the living room, dropping gratefully into his chair.

He didn’t turn on the lights, the faint glow of the streetlamps lit the room just enough that he didn’t need it. He leaned his head back against the chair and his thoughts drifted once more to Death.

How was he supposed to just go on? What was left to go on for?

How long he sat contemplating the unspeakable he wasn’t sure, but the room had grown lighter as dawn crept in, intruding on the darkness he had wrapped around himself. As it grew he found himself thinking about Lucy and Rafe. Their parent’s funeral was just two days away now.

He had tried not to think about it over much, because he was standing his ground on this issue, his sister was wrong. It would do none of them any good for the kids to come and live with him. They’d lost the only parents they would ever know, and it was unthinkable to leave them in the care of a man who was half dead himself.

Chapter 3.2

Fork in the Road

Despite his resolve he still allowed himself to be pulled along on all of the visits Gabrielle set up, and he couldn’t deny that he did like them. Lucy and Rafe. With Lucy it was a little like looking into a mirror, and seeing himself at fifteen trying to deal with his mother’s death. She tried to put a brave face on it, but he could read it in her face easily. If it hadn’t been for her brother Michael knew she would probably have been a wreck by now.

He shut his eyes against the easily morning sun and sighed.

Gabrielle was right about one thing, it would be wrong to split the two of them up, just like he had always needed and relied on his sister, he knew already that Lucy needed Rafe. And from what Elaine had told them getting the two placed together was going to be virtually impossible. In that regard he and Gabrielle were the best hope of keeping them together.

He was their best hope.

And wasn’t that just the kicker. He didn’t know how to be anyone’s anything anymore. He’d joined the army because he’d have something stable, something sure. There would be rules, regulations, expectations that he could meet. There were other soldiers just like him, all of them in the service because they believed in something bigger than themselves. In the army he had been a soldier, someone to be relied on, trusted.

Without that… Without that he was nothing. He’d invested everything of himself into the military, and he had nothing left over. Nothing to give.

That was the problem, he knew that, and he knew Gabrielle knew. He did want to help them, he did want to take them… but he just didn’t know how to do it. How could he be sure that coming to him would be the best for them?

He glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece. Was 8am too early to speak with the social worker? Probably. But by the time he made it across town to the Social Centre it might not look quite so much like he was desperate for some impartial advice.

**

An hour and a half later, after fighting through the early morning commuters on the buses, he finally limped his way up the steps to the centre. He leaned against the door while he waited for Becky, the receptionist to buzz him through. Then he made small talk with her until Elaine Harvey was free to speak with him.

“Michael, I’m surprised to see you here so early, and without your sister.” Elaine said with a smile, and just like that she put him at his ease, and he shook his head with the smallest of smiles.

“Oddly enough I can sometimes do things by myself, despite evidence to the contrary.” He answered.

There was a short silence, and Elaine studied him carefully. “How can I help?” she asked him, voice soft, like she already knew what he’s come here for.

So he explained it to her, everything he could bare to tell, all the reasons he had against it, and all the reason he knew he should do it. Elaine listened, never interrupting, until finally his rambling came to a stop and he looked at her for answers.

“It sounds to me that you’re at an impasse, a fork in the road if you want. On one hand, you have two children who could benefit from being taken in by you, and growing up in a stable household with their family, no matter how unknown that family was before. And on the other hand, you don’t know what you can provide for them, for all you or even I know, you might not be the right carer for them, you might make mistakes, you might do everything wrong and the whole thing could collapse around you. You might not be ever able to love them enough to make up for the loss of their parents, and they might never see you as anything more than some strange whose come into their life when they don’t want or need him.”

Elaine gave him a small smile of her own as Michael considered her words, considered the implications and winched at the idea of it all. Of all the wrongness that could happen.

“But do you know what I didn’t hear in what you said?” she asked him.

He blinked, confused, but nodded.

“I didn’t hear you say you didn’t want them.”

It took a few moments for his brain to wrap around that, and he suddenly found himself floored by it. Because she was right, not one of the reasons he had given her, or himself, against the idea of taking them in had anything to do with not wanting them. Because over the two weeks he had been coming to visit, he had started to grow fond of them.

“Michael.” Elaine said, drawing him back from his thoughts. “I’m not trying to push anything on you, because that wouldn’t be fair to anyone involved. This needs to be a choice you need to make on your own, without me, your sister or even Lucy and Rafe influencing you. Becoming their legal guardian is going to be hard. Harder than anything else you’ve ever done. If you don’t think you can do it, or you just don’t want to do it, it’s ok to say so.”

“But if I don’t the result is they get split up.” Michael pointed out.

Elaine shrugged. “It happens, and sometimes it turns out ok, and sometimes it doesn’t. That’s just something that we’ll deal with when it arises.” She gave him a considering look. “Would it help if I told you that I’d still be on hand if you took them? There’d still be a support network there if you needed it.”

It did make him feel a little better to hear that.

“Thanks Elaine.” He said at last.

“They’re down in the rec room if you want to see them?” she said.

“Yeah. Thanks.”

**

When he got home he called Gabrielle. It was about time they really talked about this.

And he was going to need some help getting the place straightened up for when Elaine dropped round for a Home visit.

It looked like he’d chosen a path without even realising it.