You don't have to do without, you just have to keep that in mind next time you request something. It would be best if you'd edit your first post to be clear about exactly what you really want so that it's easier for an artist to come along and possibly help you. Just so I'm completely clear, it's just fine to ask for that specific candle to be unlit. What isn't okay is to ask for any unlit candle and then afterwords tell us that it has to be a specific one. Grandma Deb went through all the trouble of finding you that unlit candle, but if she knew you were looking for that specific one she would have either found that specific one or realized that she didn't have what you needed and let someone else take the job.