Here you go. Sorry for the wall of text, but I wanted this to be as full as possible, and I thought it would be helpful to give specific examples of things, rather than just leave it with a series of bald statements.
Story and Characters/Dialogues
The basic premise is intriguing, and both playable characters have indications of interesting possibilities. In a short demo one does not expect fleshed out characterisation, but several opportunities to develop their characters a bit were not taken. In the town, and in the inn and pub, several things are said to Luther to which he gives no reply. Some minor inconsistencies of tone. ??? at the end (the Valkyrie) calls them ‘twerps’ which seems at odds with the sort of ways she had been speaking up until then.
I’m wondering if there has been a change in the plot line at some stage. When going to meet the Town Lord for the first time, Eva says “I hope we run into her again.” They are specifically going to meet her, so why is Eva hoping they’ll run into her? They haven’t met her yet, so why is Eva referring to “again”?
If Luther tries to leave by the east exit, there is a “I can’t bypass this town while something strange is going on” dialogue, and I can’t exit. However, I can just waltz out of the northwest exit (the one I entered by), and once I’m out of the town I could easily go east, so the dialogue doesn’t really make sense.
At the risk of sounding sarcastic (I’m not being) I have to ask if you have come to grips with self switches? In the Inn/Pub if you speak to the Captain a second time, you trigger the whole “I must find out more” sequence. The same when you speak to Solomon, and when you speak to others. I think the worst case was after the final fight. If you take a couple of steps back down and then go back up, you trigger the whole fight again. Oh, and after the second fight, Eva is once more a follower, but you haven’t removed her sprite that you used in the short cut scene before the fight, so there are now 2 of her on screen.
In a few places the text runs out the side of the box. E.g. with ??? before the final fight, the text beginning “You should put up a good fight before” The word “before” runs out the box. The same with the description for the skill Zen Meditation. I think I noticed it elsewhere, but now don’t recall where it was.
Mapping and Graphics
Mapping is not particularly good. The bandit’s headquarters reminded me of the Tardis, tiny on the outside and opening up into infinity once you’re through the door. The Inn/Pub could usefully be slashed in size. You then wouldn’t have those vast, open expanses of emptiness. The shop part could also easily be reduced to about half its present size.
Outside the tent and the bit of countryside where Luther first finds himself were bare and uninteresting. It is generally not considered good practice for maps to just end with the player coming up against the invisible wall. In one place at least this results in the ridiculous situation that you are being refused entry to the Noble quarter at the top of the map, whereas at the bottom there is apparently an unguarded, unblocked road west. And in fact when you get to that section, you can go down to that area and see the rest of the building and the road. Nice edits on Luther’s face.
There are a few mapping errors e.g. SW corner of town, a one tile high hedge appears to go up and meet the roof.
In the Noble Quarter, over by the west wall is a section which comes in at 2 tiles high, then is 3 tiles high and then drops to one tile high, all with the same roof line. (It’s behind the second building with the stepped orange roof.)
Gameplay
Hmm, I think you have not taken sufficient account of the fact that the player does not know the game as well as you do. The first real encounter can only be won by one specific strategy, and not an obvious one either (after several failures, I healed every time until I’d got the full 100 TP and then used the ultimate skill). This seems to me to be treating the player unfairly. The fight with the Valkyrie – she is dishing out paralysis for which I have no healing item or skill, I get her down and then there is the cheap trick of her healing herself for 900HP out of a total of around 2000. It felt like a way of simply padding the fight out to make it last longer. Given that Luther only has one skill that’s any use against a single opponent and the same more or less with Eva, strategy is not going to feature all that highly here. It’s just a slog of attrition. So in the demo, there is the unwinnable first fight, the exceptionally easy to lose second fight and then this third fight. Oh, and by the way, all with no battle tutorial for any player unfamiliar with things. Though perhaps the first fight was meant to teach the basic mechanics? Dunno.
A couple of general things. I can buy Leather Mail for 500 g, but can sell the inferior Leather (drops from the bandits) for 2,500 each. Seems weird.
The pale text on the very pale, bright window skin is difficult to read.
Overall
The basic idea, as far as I can tell, has real potential, but at the moment, the game is undermined by a lack of attention to detail. Switches, mapping, text length all could do with a good look at them. With your battles, maybe you’re aiming for something in particular and I’ve simply not twigged what it is. However, as it stands, the 3 encounters in the demo are not particularly enjoyable (all for different reasons) and if the rest of the game is structured like these, I suspect a good number of people will stop playing.
I’m sorry if this sounds harsh. I think I detect reasonable ability and the germ of a good game, but neither shine in this demo.
