Go To Sleep

● ARCHIVED · READ-ONLY
Started by TalalAlgreby 14 posts View original ↗
  1. TalalAlgreby
    #1 Source
    Go To Sleep​
     ​
    Story:

    There have been many murders in Angelica Town, the murderers kept killing kids to adults. Then one day they stopped, left a picture in the last murder, detectives figured out that the murderers are living in a mansion, located in the dark middle side of a forest, many detectives have gone there but they never returned, the case kept growing and they kept sending detectives, but still.. they didn't returned. And at the end they chooses YOU now.. can you solve this case?

    Characters:

    Name: Carolina

    Description: A young detective who always wish to become a detective in her childhood, and now she is one. Plus she is about to encounter her biggest case ever.

    Age: 20

    Name: Jeff

    Description: ???

    Age: ???

    Screenshots:

    845896815.png

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    680830608.png

    564876979.png

    412605426.png

    Videos:

    Big thanks to bowlingotter and lissy sandwich for playing my game !

    and to Drassray  for livestreaming ! check their videos out !

    Bowlingotter:  




    Drassray: 





    What to come in version 2.0:

    a more horrifying experience with Pop up images

    Harder puzzles !

    Jeff's Coming often, to raise the fear factor

    Ambiance sounds !

    Background music.

    Note: This may take some time, so you shouldn't check often

    Download:

    Version 1.0 : http://www.mediafire.com/download/01ixugryd6ry7ng/Go+To+SLEEP.exe

    Any FeedBack is appreciated​
    Any Negative comments are also appreciated​
    i learn from them.​
  2. That Bread
    #2 Source
    Murder mystery huh? Sounds like something I might enjoy, going to download this and give it a play sometime.
  3. moneymenace
    #3 Source
    I'm just going to give my quick first impressions. I JUST got Missing Page #2, the hammer, and am now looking down the hole. That's as far as I am right now, so not too far.

    Pretty good so far. The atmosphere sets the mood nicely, and some of the "puzzles" seem nicely thought-out.

    Most of the issues I've had so far are purely aesthetic, which can be easily look past. The writing needs a bit of a proof-read, a little bit of the mapping could use an update, but it really isn't anything TOO serious in my book.

    But there are two main things that caught my eye (or rather, my ear). First off, and this may sound strange for a horror game, but it's almost TOO quiet. There's not even a slight ambient drone to really bring the fear factor up a couple of notches. And when I finally DID get the slight ambient noise I was looking for, it was a high-pitched scream that kept going on-and-on. One scream is all that is necessary.

    And two final things that I'd like to bring up. It seems that in every other room, it gives off the impression that it's lagging, but my frame rate remains at 60 FPS. I'm not sure if that's intentional (or my computer is just being a jerk), but it isn't very effective. Also, and this is just a minor detail, give Carolina a little more reaction and emotion. She may be a detective, but she can be afraid of seeing a bunch of blood, dead people, and being locked in a home where the murderer is still there. She's seen it before, perhaps, but now the circumstances are a bit different. She's alone, and trapped. Just a thought, nothing too crazy.

    That's basically all I got. Pretty good so far. It's sizing up to be a pretty good horror game, something that is somewhat difficult to achieve in RPG Maker. I look forward to playing the rest. :)

    EDIT: I met with Jeff, and out of the 6 times I've tried to evade him past the first cutscene, I've only managed to do it twice. I'm frozen and before I can even move, he kills me...
  4. Onomotopoeia
    #4 Source
    To begin, I will admit the horror genre is not of interest to me, so I will not be playing this game. However, I do have some constructive critique, for the original post.


    First off, the text size is quite large, for a page of description; I would assume the normal-size font would suffice.


    Second, the puntuation or lack of proper punctuation. All too many of the sentence fragments are separated only by a comma, and not by a period, a colon, or semicolon. Proper punctuation really does give life to the description.


    Third, various flaws in the general story. "Many Detectives have gone there but none returned, the case grew to become into one of the most mysterious cases, They Kept sending detectives until almost 20% Of them died," -- Um, ... what? What about the other 80%?! You mean, they actually succeeded? Or do you mean they failed and were injured but not killed?!?!?! And if they went but never came back, of what importance is the fact of whether twenty percent were killed?


    Fourth, it is also odd to see the warning, "Warning: Contains Picture of the mansion if you want to discover it yourself, please skip this part." But the screenshots would then be better presented within the spoiler tag, although the actual screenshots don't appear to contain any spoiler information.


    This is all meant without malice, so that you can improve the OP.
  5. TalalAlgreby
    #5 Source
    moneymenace said:
    I'm just going to give my quick first impressions. I JUST got Missing Page #2, the hammer, and am now looking down the hole. That's as far as I am right now, so not too far.

    Pretty good so far. The atmosphere sets the mood nicely, and some of the "puzzles" seem nicely thought-out.

    Most of the issues I've had so far are purely aesthetic, which can be easily look past. The writing needs a bit of a proof-read, a little bit of the mapping could use an update, but it really isn't anything TOO serious in my book.

    But there are two main things that caught my eye (or rather, my ear). First off, and this may sound strange for a horror game, but it's almost TOO quiet. There's not even a slight ambient drone to really bring the fear factor up a couple of notches. And when I finally DID get the slight ambient noise I was looking for, it was a high-pitched scream that kept going on-and-on. One scream is all that is necessary.

    And two final things that I'd like to bring up. It seems that in every other room, it gives off the impression that it's lagging, but my frame rate remains at 60 FPS. I'm not sure if that's intentional (or my computer is just being a jerk), but it isn't very effective. Also, and this is just a minor detail, give Carolina a little more reaction and emotion. She may be a detective, but she can be afraid of seeing a bunch of blood, dead people, and being locked in a home where the murderer is still there. She's seen it before, perhaps, but now the circumstances are a bit different. She's alone, and trapped. Just a thought, nothing too crazy.

    That's basically all I got. Pretty good so far. It's sizing up to be a pretty good horror game, something that is somewhat difficult to achieve in RPG Maker. I look forward to playing the rest. :)

    EDIT: I met with Jeff, and out of the 6 times I've tried to evade him past the first cutscene, I've only managed to do it twice. I'm frozen and before I can even move, he kills me...
    well the game is supposed to be quiet, until jeff chases you.

    i'll be working on more reactions for Carolina. i really don't know anything about the lagging, i tested it and it works fine.

    And for Jeff part, is he too fast or are you frozen when he starts chasing you? if he is too fast, try holding SHIFT And <- Left arrow key, if it's still pretty hard

    i'll slow him down.

    Thank you, hope you enjoy the game :)

    Onomotopoeia said:
    To begin, I will admit the horror genre is not of interest to me, so I will not be playing this game. However, I do have some constructive critique, for the original post.

    First off, the text size is quite large, for a page of description; I would assume the normal-size font would suffice.

    Second, the puntuation or lack of proper punctuation. All too many of the sentence fragments are separated only by a comma, and not by a period, a colon, or semicolon. Proper punctuation really does give life to the description.

    Third, various flaws in the general story. "Many Detectives have gone there but none returned, the case grew to become into one of the most mysterious cases, They Kept sending detectives until almost 20% Of them died," -- Um, ... what? What about the other 80%?! You mean, they actually succeeded? Or do you mean they failed and were injured but not killed?!?!?! And if they went but never came back, of what importance is the fact of whether twenty percent were killed?

    Fourth, it is also odd to see the warning, "Warning: Contains Picture of the mansion if you want to discover it yourself, please skip this part." But the screenshots would then be better presented within the spoiler tag, although the actual screenshots don't appear to contain any spoiler information.

    This is all meant without malice, so that you can improve the OP.
    About the text size, i just edited the text, now it's  perfect

    Second, i'm not really sure about this part, maybe i used "," too much? , i tried editing but i don't think there's much of a change

    Third: maybe i said it in a wrong way, what i wanted to say was that 20% of the detectives were lost, Example: Let's say there's a total of 500 detectives in this town, They kept sending detectives until 20% of them were lost so by means, They send 100 detectives and they all died, so 20% of them died.

    i deleted this part so i don't think it matters anymore, thanks for telling i just noticed it was wrong.

    Fourth: Since there's no spoilers, i deleted the warning - there's not much of a spoiler (Information, details, Story)  Just some maps to show the player

    how map are designed

    Thanks for dropping by :)
  6. moneymenace
    #6 Source
    Talal1001 said:
    And for Jeff part, is he too fast or are you frozen when he starts chasing you? if he is too fast, try holding SHIFT And <- Left arrow key, if it's still pretty hard

    i'll slow him down.
    It's just the initial part, when he comes out of the door. Carolina takes a few steps back, and THEN you have control of her again, but sometimes you remain frozen and it is very easy for Jeff to get you. I personally think that you should be allowed to run the moment that you see Jeff pop out of that door, but that's just my thinking. Your game, your call. :)
  7. Evan Finkel
    #7 Source
    I downloaded your game and realize it's a VX project, so I suggest you to add a RTP version too, and rename one of your tags.
  8. byrdbones
    #8 Source
    Looks interesting.
  9. moneymenace
    #9 Source
    Alright, then... just finished.

    So this is in addition to my previous feedback.

    "i really don't know anything about the lagging, i tested it and it works fine."

    - It only happens at certain times with certain rooms. Before I met Jeff, the bottom portion of the staircase lagged. After I met him, it was fine.

    "And for Jeff part, is he too fast or are you frozen when he starts chasing you? if he is too fast, try holding SHIFT And <- Left arrow key, if it's still pretty hard i'll slow him down."

    - He's a little quick. Though, I now seem to evade him pretty well since I was able to evade him the first time.

    But here's the thing about Jeff now.

    - He comes out... a lot at times. Like, simply getting a menial task done is difficult because it seems that Jeff is coming out right after I just evaded him.

    - Does he chase you indefinitely? Do you always have to hide in the cabinet?

    End results:
    - The game was rather short. If it weren't for Jeff constantly popping out, I'd be able to do it in less than an hour.

    - The puzzles weren't too in-depth. I didn't find myself digging deep for answers.

    - Jeff chasing me became less of a creep factor and more of a frustration factor. The last chase where he was really fast was a bit of a chore to tell you the truth.

    - The ending was okay. It wasn't anything super, but I'll admit, endings are hard to make.

    All-in-all, there is a lot to improve on here. However, you seem to have a decent grip on eventing and this game seems well-tested. I never ran into a problem where I got stuck somewhere or there was a glitch of some kind.

    My only huge concern (which isn't much) is that this uses quite a few tropes from Ao Oni (or games much like it). Being chased (with the same music), similar death scene, and the hiding in the cabinet. The great thing about being a game developer is that you get to add your personal innovation to make it your own. :) I didn't quite see that here.

    Edit: Hang on a minute. I just got the second ending after writing all of this: bad ending, and now, normal ending. Is there a good ending? I believe I found everything, but there's still some loose ends. A few locked doors and the organ with the missing pages seems relatively significant, but I'm pretty sure I checked everything.
  10. JacobM
    #10 Source
    Here is my live stream.

  11. AlphaDominoDoom
    #11 Source
    I love Jeff the killer... but to be honest when i found this game just to me it was to quiet... some creepy music would of added a good touch... then some of the words was cut off.... plus also there was lagging after the detective fell asleep.... plus also i couldn't move when Jeff was coming out of the door and it showed the picture..... It actually took my husband to get the character to move... I would love this game if these were fixed.... because i have been trying to find a good jeff the killer game.. but i do understand that it is your game and your preference i was just stating my opinion on it.. cause it was still pretty good..
  12. Kyuukon
    #12 Source
    From watching the LPs I could easily spot you have bad implemented parallel processes in those lagging sections. You should also make the text cleaner (adding caps, punctuations...). And I agree with Raven&Jet about the music.

    The game lacks overall presentation but if you address those issues it could turn into a pretty good thing ;) Btw, I loved the cute 'detective' theme haha :p
  13. Zevia
    #13 Source
    Gave Go To SLEEP a try, you can find the video over at this thread: http://forums.rpgmakerweb.com/index.php?/topic/25194-zevias-lets-play/

    Review below:

    Spoiler
    Go To SLEEP is a horror/mystery game about a detective named Carolina who decides to be the next in a long line of ill-fated detectives to try and investigate a mysterious mansion in town where a number of victims have been murdered by Jeff the Killer. The introduction establishes that a lot of detectives have tried to solve this particular mystery, but one at a time, they all died. I was left a bit puzzled as to why they continued sending single detectives in to their deaths, but the game has a bit of a tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement of this in the intro, too. It seems to be, "Because it would be scarier if you're alone, just roll with it." Which... You know, cool, I'll do that.

    The gameplay pretty much consists of exploring the mansion trying to figure out what to do next - it's not really laid out in a manner that you stumble across a number of clues and have to figure out how to fit them all together, it's much more linear. However, you're not really told what you need to do next, so it's more like you're just kind of randomly wandering until you stumble across the next spot you're supposed to be in. Then again, I'm not entirely sure how much of the game was designed to be a mystery so much as it was designed to be horror. There's a warning at the beginning that pretty blatantly states, "There will be jumpscares and pictures," so I'm guessing that's really the focus of the game.

    Admittedly, I didn't get very far into it. Since Talal's first language isn't English, I was willing to give a pass on spelling and grammar issues, but there are issues with almost every other aspect of the game. The mapping's very odd in places, such that the walls don't look like walls - they look like autotiles that were improperly placed. There's a lack of music or ambient sound effects much of the game, so there's a lot of silence broken by the occasional looping sound of someone screaming or crying. Both of them get irritating very quickly, especially the crying one. When you search for sound effects online, you'll often come across sound banks that want you to purchase their sound files - and they prevent you from just using the free samples by having a voice say "preview" over them. Well, you could pretty clearly hear "preview" looped over and over in the crying one, so that really killed the atmosphere and added to the annoyance factor.

    As I mentioned, as well, I really felt like I was just randomly wandering around until I stumbled across the right answer. I got a key - that's great, but I passed by about 5 or 6 locked doors in relatively nondescript hallways. I had no clue as to which door used the key, so it was just running into every door until eventually one of them unlocked.

    Some of the story decisions are really bizarre as well, the most egregious of which being that the main character decides that going to sleep literally minutes after discovering a fresh murder is probably a good idea. I mean, I'm willing to cut protagonists in horror stories a little bit of slack for doing stupid things for the sake of getting a scare for the audience, but there's only so much suspension of disbelief I can muster. Carolina was really just begging to be killed throughout the entire section that I played.

    I don't generally play horror games, so I'm not sure how it stacks up against others of its ilk in the RPG Maker universe - but it seems like a very rough version of a game that could use a lot of cleanup, polish, playtesting, organization... In short, it just feels like the first pass, not a finished product.
  14. shayoko
    #14 Source
    once some of the said issues are addressed id love to play this :3